Just got an RNC fund-raising letter. What do I put in the SASE they sent?

[Donkeyboy75]

Poll question: Just got an RNC fund-raising letter. What do I put in the SASE they sent?

I subscribe to The Economist, and I'm pretty damned sure they sold my name. Those shits. My "suggested contribution" was $20. They'll get something else instead.

I could write a letter damning them for their policies, but as soon as they see no money, they'll throw everything away, so I'm not wasting my time.

Please help me decide:

[KamaAina]

1. I have a touch of the stomach flu

I'd be more than happy to carry the RNC envelope around with me for a few hours, in case of emergencies. Then you can send the whole thing, contents and all, back to the House of Evil.

[Donkeyboy75]

4. Thanks!

Maybe I'll take you up on it. Hope you feel better... :hi:

[Deja Q]

9. YOU are a Biological terrorist!!!!!!!

Forgive me, I had to say that! :D

[arcane1]

2. maybe one of those 9/11 'deception dollars'?

the ones w/Bush's face, and all the little oil rigs, etc...

[Padraig18]

3. Be creative: send them a box of sand.

A good Democrat friend once got one marked 'return postage guaranteed'. Said friend owns a lumber yard and built a sturdy 3' x 3' x 3' box, filled it with sand and used his forklift to drive it to the Post Office.

He was taken off their mailing list, needless to say.

:evilgrin:

[Donkeyboy75]

5. Fantastic idea!

My postage is guaranteed, but the envelope is very small.

[Padraig18]

7. Tape it securely to the top of the box.

:evilgrin:

[Don_G]

6. If You Have A Cat

Send them the contents of the litterbox. Just box everything up and tape the SASE to it.

[geniph]

8. Go to this website, print out the pamphlet

and mail it back to them:

The Conservative Case against Bush

http://www.mindspring.com/~redefeatbush/kerrywins.htm
(go to the Pamphlets and Links section)

(this website is maintained by a friend from my legislative district)

[Donkeyboy75]

10. But I don't think they'd read it. I want to offend their sensibilities

before they have the chance to throw it away.

[greenbriar]

14. send them a heaping

pile of shit

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

11. i wrote to mitch mcconnell once about campaign finance reform

and he sent back a form letter telling me how soft money was fine and dandy because it "allows citizens to ampily thier voices" in the electoral process.

i sent him a coupon for half off a kid's meal at the local pizza place and asked him if my letter was now ampilfied enough to merit more than a form letter response. he sent me back the exact same form letter

[Donkeyboy75]

29. LOL!

[neuvocat]

12. Other-Amnesty International literature.

[Ready4Change]

13. A depleted uranium brick.

Now I know some of you might think I'm suggesting that as a commentary on the use of d.u. rounds in Iraq.

However, my real reason for suggesting it is that d.u. is HEAVY. Pretty good chance the SASE will be billed to them by weight, and a d.u. brick will cost them dear.

(Disclaimer: I'm not actually suggesting mailing potentially dangerous substances in the mail, as that would not only be wrong, but also highly illegal. Instead, replace the d.u. brick with a half inch plate of steel. Nearly the same effect, and totally legal.)

[Donkeyboy75]

30. I could mail them a lead brick...or osmium, the densest metal.

[tandot]

15. A John Kerry bumper sticker?

[morningglory]

16. Billy Graham fundraiser letters, Visa applications, "You may have won..."

[MrScorpio]

17. I wish they'd send me a fund raising letter

I just ran out of toilet paper

[TrustingDog]

18. send a semi blank check...

payable to the order of
Corruptous Corp.

and smear any nasty bodily fluid on the signature line.

[texas1928]

19. send them a print out of this pic

http://funny-pictures.com/ecards/celebs/?cardurl=newdollarbill.html

[zbdent]

20. Other: A picture of your ass

and a note saying

"Kiss here"

[Bake]

21. I gotta go with the dog turd here, folks!

That was my first reaction, and I was pleased to see it on the poll choices, but then dismayed that no one voted for it.

A dog turd it is! Send me your SASE, and I'll provide the dog turd! Nothing says "Fuck You" quite like a good ol' smelly dog turd.

Bake

[EstimatedProphet]

22. A cinder block

probably cost them $20 or more for postage.

[Wapsie B]

23. Poopy in a can.

Doggy doo would work fine.

[69KV]

24. Is it a postage paid envelope?

Tape it to a box full of stinking garbage. The heavier, the better. They have to pay the postage you know.

[dolo amber]

25. Dog poo!!

It's just a shame you can't deliver it in person...flaming on their doorstep. :D

[Endangered Specie]

26. Whack off...

...and 'stick' the 'outcome' in the envelope...preferably about 2,000,000,000 of you, if you know what I mean ;) :evilgrin:

[Donkeyboy75]

31. And since life begins with the sperm cell,

they'd be murdering hundreds of millions if they threw it away!!!

[Endangered Specie]

37. Precisely.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

36. yep...Donkeyboy jism

since they're so into "isms" don't ya know :D

[gmoney]

27. Duplicate it...

photocopy or scan/print the postage paid stuff onto a 500 count box of cheap #10 envelopes, put a page torn from a magazine or something into each one (so it's not empty) then mail a few from a variety of mailboxes and stuff...

They have to pay something like 75 cents a pop to get those back... but if they receive empty envelopes or envelopes with some large heavy object in it, the post office usually doesn't charge them, so you're only hurting the USPS and the rest of us.

[TreasonousBastard]

28. Anything you want, just remember...

FINGERPRINTS!

[Kazak]

32. Foodstamps?

;)

[Interrobang]

33. Fill up the envelope really full...

...with all kinds of things -- send 'em an ad for Fahrenheit 911, send 'em all kinds of Dem stuff, send 'em the Rogues' Gallery from here http://armchairsubversive.com/ (copy and print), until the envelope's so full it's practically splitting at the seams. They pay by weight. You could also add some Monopoly money in there, too.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

34. $20 in monopoly money

Or a stack of them. Make them pay for that postage.
For good measure, put in some pics of Iraqi war victims.

[Spider Jerusalem]

35. A check...

made out to "John Kerry For President, Inc."

[Maeve]

38. Something heavy

When Eldest Son got SASE from Falwell's college, we stuffed it with info from other colleges. As much as the envelope would hold.

[WillParkinson]

39. Naked pictures of Matcom!

Or GOPisEvil...