If told to "Act" like a Freeper -- What's the first thing you do?

[m-jean03]

This is Charades! :D

How odd...all of a sudden, I feel like emptying a sewage tank on my neighbor's lawn!! :shrug:

[robertpaulsen]

1. Seig heil!

[Endangered Specie]

74. Sing:

Die Fahne hoch die Reihen fest geschlossen
S. A. marschiert mit ruhig festem Schritt
Kam'raden die Rotfront und Reaktion erschossen
Marschier'n im Geist in unsern Reihen mit

Die Strasse frei den braunen Batallionen
Die Strasse frei dem Sturmabteilungsmann
Es schau'n auf's Hackenkreuz voll Hoffung schon Millionen
Der Tag fur Freiheit und fur Brot bricht an

Zum letzen Mal wird nun Appell geblasen
Zum Kampfe steh'n wir alle schon bereit
Bald flattern Hitler-fahnen Uber allen Strassen
Die Knechtschaft dauert nur mehr kurze Zeit

Die Fahne hoch die Reihen fest geschlossen
S. A. marschiert mit ruhig festem Schritt
Kam'raden die Rotfront und Reaktion erschossen
Marschier'n im Geist in unsern Reihen mit


Translation:
Flag high, ranks closed,
The S.A. marches with silent solid steps.
Comrades shot by the red front and reaction
march in spirit with us in our ranks.

The street free for the brown battalions,
The street free for the Storm Troopers.
Millions, full of hope, look up at the swastika;
The day breaks for freedom and for bread.

For the last time the call will now be blown;
For the struggle now we all stand ready.
Soon will fly Hitler-flags over every street;
Slavery will last only a short time longer.

Flag high, ranks closed,
The S.A. marches with silent solid steps.
Comrades shot by the red front and reaction
march in spirit with us in our ranks.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

2. Scratch my asshole then sniff my hand

to see what my brain smells like.

[snippy]

32. This reminds me of a story about OxyRush when he lived in Kansas City.

When he was introduced to someone at a restaurant or bar, OxyRush would ask for a $10 or $20 bill so he could demonstrate a trick for them. He then would stick the bill down the back of his pants and wipe his ass with it and then hold the feces smeared bill out and ask the person if they wanted it back.
http://www.bartcop.com/bs621.htm

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

43. I'd take it back and put it in his drink

[snippy]

45. Why? He would just keep the bill and drink his drink. n/t

[SnohoDem]

42. Damn crackheads!

:crazy:

[Demobrat]

3. First I would work on my facial expression.

Sucking a lemon should do it.

[SoDesuKa]

4. Blame Clinton

If you're dumping sewage on your neighbor's lawn, somehow Clinton is responsible. There's a far-fetched, tedious argument that connects Monica with your vandalism. Tune in Rush Limbaugh for an explanation.

[stepnw1f]

5. Get a Really bad hair-do

Slick it to one side like Leave IT TO BEAVER!

[mia]

50. load up on hairspray, and

click on Schlafly,

for talking points.

[Fridays Child]

6. I'd move into an echo chamber.

[JustFiveMoreMinutes]

7. Go To Tahoe, lose money, get drunk, get a girl or two...

... and then when you're sitting around chatting with your traveling companions, be sure to bring up how you feel the Republican Party is the moral backbone of America.

<true story, really happened>

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. hunch over with my hands in my armpits in typical ape behavior

that's how I often picture freepers, as symbolic of their mentality.

[Canuckistanian]

9. Easy. Turn on Fox News, become a zombie for 4 hours.

Blank look on face, mouth open. Occasional scratching.

[ScreamingMeemie]

10. Whatever my government tells me to....

;)

[tjwash]

11. I wuld tel evriwon too...

...too luv or leev mie amurika

opps-i had too ficks mi speling eror

[Rowdyboy]

12. Put on polyester pants and pull them up above my navel...

Play golf, buy an huge-ass SUV and put a Trent Lott and GWB bumper sticker on the vehicle

[m-jean03]

16. LOL! You guys are all cracking me up!!

:7

[MrScorpio]

13. Here's my inventory

1. Hat with stars and bars on it
2. A mullet and a droopy mustache
3. White tee shirt with a pack of GPCs in the sleeve
4. A pack of crystal meth and a pipe
5. A Wallet with a chain attached to it
6. A pair of shit kickers
7. A pair of beat up jeans
9. A Ford pick up truck witha a "God, Guns and Guts. That's what made America great" bumper sticker
10 a Bruise on my knuckles from bitch slappin' my woman because she sass-talked me
11. A warrant for my arrest

Activity for the day: Outdrive the local sheriiff (With a COPS camera crew) as fast as I can before the truck crashes and I'm arrested on national TV.

And Blame KLINTOON for everything.

Just a normal day.!!

[Canuckistanian]

22. You forgot your "Get a brain! Morans" poster!

[MrScorpio]

24. It flew out of the truck bed because

I was driving though the backwoods llke a bat outta hell

[Jade Fox]

55. LOL! Number 11 is the perfect capper for an excellent list!

[Mike Niendorff]

14. burn a cross

then hand out pamphlets about an "International Communist/Jewish Conspiracy"

finally, relax for an evening of possum shootin' with cousin dad.


MDN

[m-jean03]

20. OMG! My stomach hurts from lol, you guys play a great game

of Freeper Charades! :D

[R3dD0g]

15. Smear Vaseline all over my body

and run howling and naked through the night.

[Blue-Jay]

17. I'd invade your ass!

Then I'd move into your house, break all your shit, tell you that it's "for the best", siphon the gas out of your tank, kick you in the nuts (for your own good, mind you), mispronounce your name, and write myself a big fat check. Don't bother thanking me. A job well done is thanks enough.

Hey! Are you gonna eat that leftover pizza in your fridge?

[m-jean03]

30. Well, actually I was saving the pizza for the orphans...

That's probably "aiding and abetting the enemy", huh? :D

[Blue-Jay]

39. Screw the orphans!

They're just gonna grow up to be evilDOERS, right? Might as well starve 'em now, so that they're too weak to resist a broomstick up the arse. Don't let those hippies fool ya. When I was in college, I walked around with a broomstick up my ass for three semesters. Gawd, I miss those innocent hijincks! We were so silly that we used to make naked pyramids in front of the bursar's office. She sicced the dogs on us once and we laughed our asses off.

[m-jean03]

48. You know what?

You're right, absolutely right. My bad! :P

[Anarcho-Socialist]

18. 1st step to Frepperville

I will "employ" the excessive "use" of "quotation marks" in a pretentious "display" to "try" and appear "remotely" logical in my "redundant" arguments.

[belladonna]

19. Buy a dartboard and attach a pic of Hillary to it

Have you seen how much they hate Hillary??? It's scary :scared:

[Mike Niendorff]

21. and the second thing I'd do is :

rent a porta potty, and guard it against leftist agitators.


MDN

[Padraig18]

23. Become a mouth breather or a knuckle dragger.

Tough call. :evilgrin:

[Canuckistanian]

26. Be a mouth breather! The hours are better.

[Padraig18]

41. I heard knuckle draggers got better retiremnt plans, though.

Decisions, decisions...

[NewHampshireDem]

25. Complain about how the "demon rats" ...

want to take away all of our rights, hate America, and hate freedom ... then detail my plan to round them up, ship them to some remote location, make them dig their own graves ...

Well, you get the picture.

[snippy]

27. Pay homage to the LordGodBush and to the original freeper

John Wilkes Booth.

[FDRrocks]

28. Go to Wal Mart

Buy a 10 pound sack of Cheetos, go back home, crack open my spanking new suitcase of cheetos and put on Faux News.

[m-jean03]

31. BWWWAAHAHAHA!

Now you had to go and make me hungry!! :D

[rumguy]

60. and get a Toby Keith CD too

[dweller]

29. Drink the Koolaid

double dose to insure the lethality.

x(

dp

[NewHampshireDem]

33. Actually, isn't that technically the "last thing you'd do"?

:)

[Spinzonner]

34. Prefrontal Lobotomy

[parasim]

35. refuse to do it

then ask the question, why the hell would i want to act like a freeper?!?

:evilgrin:

[mia]

36. change my avatar

[EstimatedProphet]

37. I'd do just what all the Freeprs do for fun

Wife and child beating, kitten stomping, and poking retarded kids with sticks to watch them jump.

[MikeG]

38. Tern ahn Roosh. Hay hu tuk mah raydeo?

[ikojo]

40. Burn the following:

All of my Noam Chomsky books
My Noam Chomsky DVDs
My Michael Moore DVDs and books
all of my anti Bush books (they will be replaced by G-dly books such as those written by Hannity and Coulter)
Harry Potter books and DVDs
Lord of the Rings books and DVDs for this serves Satan and the dark side.

[Blue-Jay]

44. You left out one important flammable thing.

The Constitution. That shit's gotta go.

[ikojo]

46. Oh THAT was what I was going to use to get the

flame a burnin'! Can't have that pesky thing sitting around...people may start to get ideas. Of course I'd cut out the SECOND AMENDMENT because that is the ONLY one that matters, ya know.

[Blue-Jay]

47. Question:

Does the Constitution burn better before or after you wipe your ass with it?

[ikojo]

49. Mr Ashcroft advised me that it is best to wipe

one's ass IMMEDIATELY prior to igniting the constitution, particularly if it is to be used as a SOURCE of fire. Not only does it create a larger flame but the aroma is none too bad!

Of course we are always advised to remove the second amendment prior to any lighting.

[AmandaRuth]

51. scream about taxes while demanding the BEST

schools, roads, transit, police and fire, air, water, parks, senior services, and so on. Run up to some parent and demand to know why I should have to pay for your kids school when I am and shall remain childless. Grab any form of government money such as unemployment, SS, workers comp so fast my hand damn near shatters from stuffing it into my pocket. You know, the usual stuff.


The school thing has happened to me.

[DrWeird]

52. Gee, I don't know.

I haven't got a sister.

[jmowreader]

53. I don't have enough hair for a Mullet

But I guess I could get the other Official Freeper Haircut (a Marine buzz, even though most of them have never been Marines), take up Marlboros and Budweiser, and start listening to Toby Keith, the Official Band of Freep City USA.

[VOX]

54. Start making TRAITORS lists!!!!

Great, big, loooooooooong lists of names -- names I've rooted out from various and manifold sources, names I've dug for feverishly in the dead of night, names of the unholy and the un-American, names of everyone who has ever seen a John Wayne movie and not cried, names of all those vile enemies of the light, names of everyone who never voted for the great almighty godhead Ronald Reagan...

I will flush them out! They can run but they can't hide!!! Traitors!!!! TRAITORS!!!!! TRAITORS!!!!!!!!!!

(Whew, I gotta go lie down now.)

[Mike Niendorff]

56. and the third thing I'd do is:

Sign up at DU, under the handle "HillaryClintonLover", in order to infiltrate the enemy's lair. I would begin my infiltration by just cleverly trying to blend in, using comments like "of course I love Hillary! She's a lesbian communist vegan eco-terrorist, just like me!", and "Of course we must destroy George W. Bush! He is so godly that it threatens our grand design for a One-World Satanic Multicultural Government of the Antichrist!"

Five minutes after posting these typical left-wing comments, i would write a nasty letter to Skinner, demanding to know why I was tombstoned.

Lastly, five minutes after that, I would write him a letter warning him that I know all about the Secret Left-Wing Conspiracy, and how DU is filled with devil-worshipping communists who are plotting to take away my guns and force my children to eat tofu, just like all the blacks, gays and Mexicans do.


MDN

[m-jean03]

64. Have to say, this is hands down one of the most

brilliant things I've read. . .

I'm scared, that you know their minds this well though :scared: :D

[BringEmOn]

57. Start a republican for VP thread

[sundog]

58. don't take a shit for 2 weeks...

--

[richmwill]

59. Put my pillowcase over my head

[Only Me]

61. Cop an attitude, tell some lies, steal some medicare money, smack

anything that disagreed with me and THEN I would get out of bed and start my day.

[camero]

62. what else is there to do

Buy me some slaves of course.

[VolcanoJen]

63. Smirk wildly. Then, I'd try to look incredibly smug and stupid...

... at the same time.

What an awesome Charades category!!

[m-jean03]

65. Thanks!

I think you did a pretty darn good job at it!! :D

[henslee]

66. drape a naked statue with expensive fabric?

[henslee]

67. deleated duplicate.

[Ganja Ninja]

68. Find a cripple and kick the crutches out from under him.

[Feanorcurufinwe]

69. My mind just went blank.

[BurtWorm]

70. Think of Bill Clinton's penis

and get a secret woody.

[henslee]

71. secret woody? heee-hee.

[Endangered Specie]

72. Invest in a XXXL White Robe, and set some crosses on fire.

[Endangered Specie]

73. Flunk out of college, flip burgers and shovel mule shit for a living.

[denverbill]

75. Bitch about high taxes,

then demand a voucher so my kid can attend private school.