I'm Dick Cheney. Ask me anything.

[UrbScotty]

I do not accept questions relating to my location.

[Village Idiot]

1. Does your hand smell like chimp poop?

[UrbScotty]

2. Nope.

[many a good man]

7. LIAR!

n/t

[FarmerOak]

3. How do you justify proposing tax increases,

then blaming Senator Kerry for supporting your suggestion?

[Commendatori]

13. Please fill me in on this one

I could use this sort of ammo against the Repukes I work with. This is really true?

[UrbScotty]

22. Just shut up and pay for this liberating war!

Don't have money? Then MAKE SOME, Dangit!

[felonious thunk]

4. When it's cold out, do you like to snuggle up with your binky?

[UrbScotty]

25. What do you mean by "Binky?"

[BurtWorm]

5. How's your heart?

BOO!

[UrbScotty]

26. If I had a heart, I'd be a Democrat.

[sundog]

6. is your evil & corrupt nature genetic or a choice?

--

[UrbScotty]

27. Your question has been forwarded to my boss.

[demnan]

8. When you "talk out of the side of your mouth"

why do you talk out of the side of your mouth?

[Skittles]

20. YOU STOLE MY QUESTION DEMNAN

my format:

why do you talk out of the side of your mouth, you creepy, smarmy f*** ????

[UrbScotty]

28. Your question has been forwarded to my boss.

[Bertha Venation]

9. Are you aware that you are an ugly, heartless pit of a man

with no morals, no scruples, and money where your soul should be?

[UrbScotty]

29. Your question has been forwarded to my boss.

[underpants]

10. What is the world record for the 10,000 meters?

Hmmmm?

[UrbScotty]

31. Four Years, by me in 2000

[skip fox]

11. So, Dick. Why don't they call you Richard?

:toast:

[UrbScotty]

32. Because I'm not Richard Clarke.

[Guy Fawkes]

35. They don't call him by his name, they call him "dick", like "hey, idiot"

:silly:

[jjmalonejr]

12. How do you sleep at night?

[m-jean03]

16. They're all doped up on Ambien, I hear.

Figures!

[UrbScotty]

33. With my foot in my mouth.

[Emboldened Chimp]

14. How did you become such an evil bastard?

Is it a natural talent or did you have to work at it?

[UrbScotty]

34. Your question has been forwarded to my boss.

[VOX]

15. Do the puppet strings cut into your fingers???

Or does the pain feel good?

[UrbScotty]

36. Your question has been forwarded to St. Ronald Reagan.

[Donkeyboy75]

17. Could you please have another heart episode?

[UrbScotty]

37. Sure. Which episode number shall I give it?

And shall it be G-rated?

[NNadir]

18. I need a little light in this room. Can I borrow your pacemaker's power

supply to light my flashlight? I'm out of batteries, and let's face it, if you needed a heart, you'd have one.

[UrbScotty]

38. If I had a heart, maybe. But I'm not a Democrat, so I don't have heart.

[TheWizardOfMudd]

19. What did the doctors do to your heart? REMOVE IT?

Ya bastid.

[UrbScotty]

21. If I had heart, I'd be a Democrat.

[Darranar]

23. How many war crimes and acts of terrorism have you committed?

Can you even count them by now?

[UrbScotty]

39. Your question has been forwarded to my boss.

[mitchum]

24. You don't mind if I microwave this, do you?

[UrbScotty]

40. Microwave WHAT?!

[mitchum]

42. Burrito....soup....peeps...anything that would interfere with...

the devil's pacemaker :)

[UrbScotty]

44. Nuke it all. Nuke Syria and Iran, while you're at it.

[terrya]

30. Global warming...hey, dumbass. Why don't you do something about it?

[UrbScotty]

41. That's just the hot air I'm blowing.

[Guy Fawkes]

43. I can't hear very well out of my left ear. This is very sudden. Any ideas?

(no, really. I figured Dick's seen enough doctors to pick something up)

[UrbScotty]

45. Cover your ears when you shoot the darn gun, Mr. Heston.