Official "I Was Punched in the Family Jewels" Support Group Thread

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

It's true. I was around 12 years old, my niece was about 9. We were watching "The Banana Splits." She was apparently very amused by one of the gorilla jokes because she laughed out loud, raised both hands over her head, and lowered her fist full force onto my unsuspecting groin.

For about 30 seconds, all I could see in front of me was white. For those of you who have never been socked in the pants, you ain't missin' much. I'm sure there are people who've read my posts that would like to punch me in the groin right NOW, but I've gotta warn ya...since that incident I'm pretty damn fast on my feet.

To this very day I clench up when I see those damn dirty apes.

[Angelus]

1. I wasn't punched, but I was kicked there....

it hurts like hell.

I guaran-damn-tee you that the next time someone decides to kick me in my jewels, he'll (if it was a man) will wake up with no testicles the next morning. I'm serious.

[DS1]

2. Kicked. Hard. by a another boy

It was in a wide open field, and I don't remember immediately after aside from laying on my side holding them (even though that did nothing to help the pain) and trying to catch my breath. I limped/staggered home, laying down at times. They hurt for a week.

Everything works but I dunno if I'm shooting blanks or not, but like Angelus said, someone's gonna be wearing their nose as a toupee if they try that with me - after I beat their face inside out :grr:

btw: Federal laws prevent me from saying how I returned the favor.

[Angelus]

5. I don't know what's better, though....

getting back at them or turning them into the cops for aggravated assault...potentially getting money from it. :evilgrin:

[DS1]

6. I was about 15. The Cops weren't high on my list of priorities

, this was schoolyard stuff that needed dealing with personally.

[Angelus]

8. Ah, yes, but...

I was talking about if it were to happen today...which method would be better in dealing with the situation?

[DS1]

13. I don't think I'd take much satisfaction from extracting money

as a form of revenge, but 30 days in prison for the offender might cheer me up a bit.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

3. I can top all your horror stories

I once represented a client who was a construction worker injured on the job when he was straddled over a bridge and jackhammered his balls.

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

11. Is that even possible?

Logistically, I mean. How could you accidentally jackhammer your own balls?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

15. He was straddled over a bridge with his crotch resting on the bridge

put the jackhammer forward and when he engaged it, it jumped back and nailed him causing him to vomit then pass out. It's possible. It happened.

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

17. Oh, I believe you...it's just hard to conceptualize...but not any more...

...unfortunately. I guess we all have something to be grateful for after that story, eh?

"There, but for the grace of God, go I"...or something like that.

:toast:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

20. You know it's real hard to keep a straight face when someone gives

you that history, but it was a serious injury that led to a loss of bloodflow and necrosis to his scrotal area and he ended up requiring an orchiectomy (removal) of one of the testicles.

It wasn't funny, but one DOES have to question why he would even dream of using such a dangerous piece of machinery in such a manner..he said there was no other way to get to the area that was being removed (we're talking overpass repair following the Northridge earthquake)

[PragMantisT]

4. Didn't I see you on America's funniest videos

Seems like every video has someone getting hit in the nuts.

BTW: does having your belt pulled skyward while you lie on your back in agony any help?

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

9. Nothing helps. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. Nothing helps.

NOTHING.

Worst pain imaginable. ESPECIALLY when you don't see it coming.

[Andy_Stephenson]

7. My experience with blinding pain...was when I was 13...

All the houses in the neighborhood I grew up in had rock walls around the yards. There was a peak (similiar if you will to a house roof)...One fine day I was walking along the wall when I hit a rock that was loose. I slipped and went straight down on the "jewels"...then fell off the fence into the yard and lay there for about 30 minutes trying to breathe. Needless to say I was bruised...but I learned my lesson....I never walked the fence agian.

[Blue-Jay]

10. One banana, Two banana, Three banana, four,

I got punched in the beanbag and I fell on the floor....

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

12. Yes, the song bothers me too. This is a SUPPORT group, dammit...LOL

[kmla]

14. My story?

It was freshman football time - I was a second string lineman on the freshman football team (really impressive to the ladies, let me tell ya.)

Anyway, we were practicing on a Saturday morning, and the Varsity football coach (an imposing man, but a wonderful coach and human being) was supervising the practice along with the freshman football coach. A play was ran, and in the pile, a second string lineman got smacked in the groinal regions. Hurt like a mo-fo. But there was no way I was gonna lay on the ground and moan like some wuss, especially with the Big Dog at our practice. Got right back up, and went back to the huddle. Did a little 'dancin' around" in the huddle to try to shake 'em back into place - jumped up and down, etc.

The varsity coach looked at me and said - "What the hell is wrong with you?". My reply? "Got hit in the nuts, coach.", said in a very shaky voice. I was afraid to cough, in fear that a testicle would come out...

Ahhhh, freshman football. Great memories.

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

16. And did you notice that on the show "Coach," they never did an episode...

...about getting smacked in the groinal regions?

I can imagine it...

"Tonight, on a very special Coach"...

And Craig T. Nelson could come out at the end of the show, look into the camera, and say "Kids...getting smacked in the sack is no laughing matter...for more information visit your public library."

[kmla]

18. Actually, I think it would be funnier if Coach Luther did the PSA...

...while eating a piece of pie. Just for comic effect.:)

[Angelus]

19. Believe it or not...

I was thinking the same thing!