I watched "History of the World"; I can't get these lyrics outta my head!!

[CatWoman]

The Inquisition (Let's begin)
The Inquisition (Look out sin)
We have a mission to convert the Jews (Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew)
We're gonna teach them wrong from right.
We're gonna help them see the light
and make an offer that they can't refuse. (That those Jews just can't refuse)
Confess, don't be boring.
Say yes, don't be dull.
A fact you're ignoring:
It's better to lose your skull cap than your skull (or your govalt!)
The Inquisition (what a show)
The Inquistion (here we go)
We know you're wishin' that we'd go away.
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay!

"I was sitting in a temple. I was minding my own business.
I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass.
Then these Papus persons plungered and they throw me in a dungeon and they shove a red hot poker up my ass.
Is that considerate? Is that polite?
And not a tube of Preperation H in sight!"

"I'm sittin' flickin' chickens and I'm lookin' throught the pickins' and suddenly thes goyim pull down valls.
I didn't even know them and they grabbed my by the stoghum and started playing ping pong with my balls!
Ooh, the agony! Ooh, the shame!
To make my privates public for a game?"

The Inquisition (what a show)
The Inquisition (here we go)
We know you're wishin' that we'd go away.
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to-
"Hey Toquemada, walk this way."
"I just got back from the Auto-de-fe."
"Auto-de-fe? What's an Auto-de-fe?"
"It's what you oughtn't to do but you do anyway."
Will you convert? "No, no, no, no."
Will you confess? "No, no, no, no."
Will you revert? "No, no, no, no."
Will you say yes? "No, no, no, no!"
Now I asked in a nice way, I said, "Pretty please."
I bent their ears, now I'll work on their knees!
"Hey Toquemada, walk this way. We got a little game that you might wanna play, so pull that handle, try you're luck."
"Who knows, Toq, you might win a buck!"

"How we doin', any converts today?"
"Not a one, nay, nay, nay."
"We flattened their fingers, we branded their buns!
Nothing is working! Send in the nuns!"

The Inquisition, what a show.
The Inquisition, here we go.
We know you're wishin' that we'd go away!
So all you Muslims and you Jews
We got big news for all of yous:
You'd better change your point of views TODAY!
'Cause the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay!

[DrWeird]

1. We're Jeeeeews!

We're jews in spaaaaace!

[Nlighten1]

2. Greatest movie evar.

Pawn...jump the queen!

[madmax]

3. It's good to be the King. n/t

[MikeG]

4. Replace it with another: "It's a small world after all...."

[Mr.Green93]

5. RING RING RING,.... Banana Phone

[Westegg]

6. Check out "Candide"---music by Lenny Bernstein, book by...

...Lillian Hellman. 1956. "What a day, what a day for an auto-de-fe!" I have NO doubt Brooks took his inspiration for his catchy number from this overlooked musical.

But you're right. I haven't seen "History of the World Pt. 1" in ten years but I can often be heard roaming around the place singing the lyrics to this, the best scene in the film!

[ikojo]

7. An overlooked classic of a movie!

I LOVE the inquisition scene...My other fave scene is when Mel Brooks is trying to collect unemployment benefits as an unemployed stand up philosopher who coalesces the vapors of human existence into a logical and meaningful comprehension...(ie. he is a bullsh*t artist)

Too, too funny!


"Did you bullsh*t last week?"
"No."
"Did you try to bullsh*t last week?"
"Yes."


Also, "the servant waits while the master bates."

[Shopaholic]

8. Mel Brooks is a national treasure

If you can't laugh at least once watching a Mel Brooks film--then you're probably a right-wing Republican!