Work-related complaining at home

[carolinayellowdog]

Hey,

Happy in a new relationship, I'm starting to see clouds on the horizon as a source of conflict from a past partnership emerges in the present one. That is very disproportionate expectations about how much complaining about the job is acceptable/appropriate at home. My rule of thumb has always been to limit such complaining to a few minutes (less than 5) and make it entertaining or interesting rather than torturous to hear. Secondly that partners should be approximately equal in the amount of work-related complaining they impose on each other.

One past partner thought that I should be willing to listen supportively and sympathetically to rants about co-workers that went on for 20-30 minutes and were ten times the amount of complaining I would ever indulge in. He even became angry if my demeanor indicated disinterest or not wanting to hear such complaints.

Last night I got an earful and more of this sort of complaint from my present partner. If asking for advice were a factor it'd be much easier to listen, but it's just venting and after 20 minutes of it I was literally sick to my stomach.
At least he would apologize for going on and on about it, before going on and on some more. Needless to say, I am torn between feelings of obligation to be a sympathetic listener and resentment at the unacceptably high proportion of our time together that is taken up by this sort of thing. Obviously, part of loving someone is caring about their happiness and that includes happiness at work. But the flip side of that is caring about their happiness at home and not ruining that by bringing home office problems.

Anyone ever dealt with this problem or have ideas of how to deal with it?

CYD