Women 'face worst abuse at home'

[Thom Little]

A new study on domestic violence reveals that it is the most common form of violence in women's lives - much more so than assault or rape.

The study by the World Health Organization surveyed 24,000 women in 10 countries, among them Japan and Brazil, Ethiopia and New Zealand.

It reveals that domestic violence is widespread but hidden, and that it has a serious impact on women's health.

It also reveals just how common domestic violence is.

Wherever you live in the world, if you are a woman and you are attacked, the most likely perpetrator is your partner.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4465916.stm

[Maru Kitteh]

1. DUH! Yet more conclusions from the brilliant observations of:

MR. OBVIOUS.

Damn, that was obvious to me decades ago - literally.

[Maru Kitteh]

3. Edited to add

I mean no disrespect to the OP - - - I'm just blown away that this is not common knowledge?

[EFerrari]

2. This might get better play after the weekend? Wanted to add

conversely, men have fewer resources at their disposal when they live with a violent partner.

I once did an informal survey of our local resources. There was not one place a man could shelter if he needed to withdraw from a violent situation. Not one. And worse, most domestic violence workers I talked to couldn't even wrap their minds around the idea that a man could be the victim of domestic violence.

We've a long, long way to go on this one. Thanks for posting.

[Maru Kitteh]

4. would also like to say respectfully, there are valid reasons why

It's a matter of stats

Sole custody parent not emplooyed outside the home
Abused females vs. abused males

Houseperson without access to finances or any independent means?
Abused females vs. abused males

While there are not specific shelter systems available for beaten men there are ususally non-specific aid options, support groups, etc.

Our domestic abuse shelter takes anyone and their kids, male or female.


I have hope for all of us.

[EFerrari]

6. I'm not impugning the good works in any way. We so need them.

And, I did that survey -- let's see -- 5 years ago here in the SF Bay Area.

My point is, there should be resources for anyone who is in an unsafe situation, stats notwithstanding.

A gay friend of mine was in very dire straits for weeks until he could find a safe way to leave, for example. He'd been laid off, had no money of his own -- the same set of circs but, he happened to be male. He lived in danger for weeks because he had no other option.

/typo

[cornermouse]

5. True.

Men shouldn't be abused any more than women should be. On the other hand, they tend to have more income which makes escape more of a realistic option for them. That said, there's still the possibility that they have a similar mental/emotional need that may keep them in the situation?

[EFerrari]

7. I've had people on my list that had a wife who was ill

and who had violent outbursts. There were children. The dad's chance of gaining custody were pretty slim. There was no way they would leave their children in that situation. So, there was that kind of stuck.

Second to that, the resources to leave weren't there.

[Boomer]

8. Not as common, but it's out there

I still remember a young man I met who -- during the course of a long group discussion about domestic abuse -- admitted that his wife was violent and would physically attack him.

He was a slight, soft-spoken man and for whatever reason he had trouble calling what his wife did "abuse" or admitting that it had any relation to domestic violence. And he could not explain why he would stay with someone who went into these rages, even though he was obviously troubled by them.

The fact that he had shown up to listen to the panel on abuse showed that at some level he recognized there was a serious problem, but his resistance to "naming" it also revealed the underlying emotional dynamic that kept him mired in an abusive situation.

I'm curious about the origins of this behavior, and my best guess would be that not all abused boys turn into abusers themselves. Some remain victims, expecting abuse and accepting it because it is so entertwined with their concept of love.

[no_hypocrisy]

9. Not all men who are victims of abuse by their wives are pathological.

I know a man who stayed married to his wife even though she was a problem from the beginning. She threw glass vases and carving knives at him, and he stayed. Well, specifically he moved out, removed his wdding band, but stayed married. They had children, but they were conceived when he tried to tell her he was going to get a divorce and he got drunk when she "invited him to dinner" (to prevent the divorce). Then he didn't want to abandon the children and thus, stayed married (still separated). She's still emotionally and verbally abusive, but at least she's not throwing things at anyone. This man subverted his happiness, if not sanity, on behalf of his children and I think that's noble and rare.

[EFerrari]

10. Agree. Mental illness can be very subtle, invisible to most eyes.

I only report my experience which was mostly with spouses dealing with severe mental illness and familial obligations.

It's really hard to know that there is so much violence in families. Something in us just recoils.

But, I'd like to know that my brother could get the same support that I can access, should he ever need it.

It's a lot to ask, in this land of diminishing resources. But, if we don't ask, we don't get.

peace,
Beth