I am in a real funk today regarding the war.

[lady raven]

My brother is a U.S. Marine. I am not the greatest fan in the world of war by ANY means, but I have been proud of him since the day he joined. It started when he realized that his life wasn't really going anywhere and he "needed someone to kick his butt" (his words).

Now, 11 years later, my brother has changed in every way, and all of it for the better. He has made the Marines his career. Where there once was an irresponsible, surly young man who had no goals (and with whom I never got along) there is now a dedicated husband and father who treats everyone with respect and has a sense of honor and duty in every aspect of his life (And we have developed the kind of brother/ sister relationship we should have had in the first place). The Marines have been wonderful for my brother and he has given them dedicated service and unfailing loyalty.

When Clinton was in office, my brother voted for him (96- He wasn't old enough to vote yet in 92). He has never talked politics much, but at that time he felt he could at least say a little. Now that * is in office, he never says a political word.

Now my brother is preparing to go to Iraq at the end of January. I cannot describe my feelings. I am worried. I love him. If he were going into ANY war I would be worried about him. But this is different.

If he were going to Afghanistan, I would be worried and sad, but not angry. But I am ANGRY!

I don't talk to him about this because he is happy to go. I understand that this is not necessarily due to his own feelings about this particular war, but due to his sense of duty. As a Marine, he professes to be proud to fight and die for his country and proud to do whatever is ordered. That's what they do.

I have a hard time personally with this- Not with HIS dedication, but with reconciling my support and pride for my brother with my anger about him being put into this situation.

It is an honorable thing when a Service member dies in the line of duty. If something happens to him, I will never feel that he is less honorable than if he had fought in the most morally justifiable war. But I have a problem with him being asked to put his life on the line unnecessarily. The current administration is forcing young men and women to make the ultimate sacrifice as if it's no big deal to them, and I'm angry.

I have a million emotions going through me right now.

They are coming home for Thanksgiving, and that is the last time I will see my brother before he leaves for Iraq. I am so scared of the thought that it may be the last time I see him alive, and I just don't know how to handle it.

I'm sorry I'm so incoherent right now- I'm feeling very emotional at the moment.

[Fridays Child]

1. This has to be very tough for you.

If he were my kid, I'd be so fucked up by the whole thing, I doubt if I could string two words together that made sense. I guess, though, practically speaking, unless I thought there was a chance I could convince him to desert, I'd have to put my energy into two things: seeking all of the good energy I could find to keep him safe and getting this war stopped.

[lady raven]

4. Thank you. It really is.

Well, there's not a chance of convincing my brother to desert. He knows it is his duty, right or wrong, and I am proud of him for that. I will still be doing everything I am doing now and MORE to attempt to stop this mess, starting with campaigning for anti- war Democrats.

(This is one reason I so strongly support Wes Clark. I like him for many, many reasons, but one thing that is very appealing to me is that he is a military hero who can stand and say that this is wrong, and since he's military, people listen.)

My Christmas list for my brother this year is all stuff for him to take with him. Unfortunately, I don't have the means to buy body armor and things like that, so I've had to resign myself to buying him things that will provide comfort to him while he is gone.

I honestly don't have a clue how my sister in law is handling this. If she's having a hard time with it, she's hiding it VERY WELL.

I don't know her politics, but she goes to a church that I've often heard described in the same breath as "cult" (My brother does not- She just does her own thing, and I've also heard that Military wives in general are enthusiastically pro- war (Although I will never be able to understand why).

My mom is worried about him too but doesn't have the same anger I have about this war. Not being his parent or spouse, I feel like an outsider in a way (I haven't seen any support groups for siblings of deployed Marines, Soldiers, Sailors, and Airmen but plenty for spouses and parents) and my feelings are really just driving me crazy right now.

[Fridays Child]

8. We're your support group!

So, you should vent well and often. In the meanwhile, you know that we're all putting out positive energy for your brother's safety.

(((((((((( :hug: ))))))))))

[lady raven]

9. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that

In the last year, even though I didn't post much until recently, I have read almost every day. At this point I honestly don't know what I would do without DU.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

2. Roll back time to 1968 and 1972

Those were the two years my brother, a career Army Warrant Officer, was in Viet Nam. I was really torn up about him going, hoping since he was working in supply he wouldn't face action. When he came back in '72, carrying a Silver Star in a box, I realized this was not the case. Like your brother, mine was in it for a career, joining the military to escape a bad home situation. He came back in '72 totally disillusioned about the war-and not because of any war protests, but because of what went on over there. Unlike Kerry, my brother won no Purple Hearts (thank goodness!) but I know that he had wounds that I'm not sure are healed yet-PTSD, etc. I remember worrying about him every day he was over there, especially since he NEVER wrote (which is typical for him, though he loves email!), and finding my way to realizing that protesting the war in a legal manner was the best way to support the troops and to bring them home.

My heart goes out to you and your brother. Just tell him you love him, and you're proud of him. He knows that, but tell him anyway.

[jedicord]

3. Remain proud of him and continue to love him.

I'm hip to where you're coming from. My husband was a Marine in Desert Storm and I cannot tell you how proud I am of his commitment and dedication. Me, a peacenik, am now able to see what our soldiers do for our country. And that is self-sacrifice.

He is as angry as I am over the Iraq War, for sending these good men on a suicide mission for a pack of lies. That does not mean he is angry at them, he wants to do what he can to help them come home. He (and I) are VERY proud of those boys over there. Because we know where their hearts lie.

And we know where lie the hearts that are black.

Godspeed to your brother, may he come home to continue to be enveloped in your family's love.

On edit: replacing "that" with "not" - oops.

[demnan]

5. I know exactly how you feel

My brother was drafted into the army when he was 18. It was 1966 and he was headed for Vietnam.

Thank goodness he came back and lives a happy normal life today. I wish the same for your brother and for your family. :hug:

[porphyrian]

6. You're exactly correct in what you're thinking.

Your brother isn't wrong, the people sending him into harms way for a lie are. Just keep your anger focused on those responsible. I hope everything goes well for your whole family.

[wtmusic]

7. One of the unsung crimes of this war

is the abuse of our military's trust. They offer their lives to defend their country -- and their lives are risked for another purpose altogether. :grr: