"Marriage" is a dinosaur... that's why right wingers are pissed off

[SoCalDem]

Think about it..

Years ago, marriage was a necessity because women were mere chattel, and in order to "get one" to cook, clean, help with the chores on farms and in small businesses,and bear children, marriage was the "hook". Women did not have much to aspire to job wise, so "old maids" became schoolmarms and church workers. The married ones had a job to procreate and take care of the home. Those were Full Time PLUS jobs since modern conveniences were a long ways off.

Women have always known that they shouldered a huge burden, but they had no REAL choices until fairly recently, so they were content (not all were) to "just be a wife and mother". Recent times have literally FORCED women into the workplace, and once there, lots do not WANT to go back. The irony is that the financial climates that PUSHED women out of the home were largely CREATED BY REPUBLICAN CONSERVATIVES. They see an "assault" on marriage lurking behind every home, and yet they do not realize that THEY created the assault.

It takes TWO or THREE incomes to live in a manner even CLOSE to the eras they claim to long for.

Women today have learned the hard way that marriage is because they WANT to share their lives , not because they have no other choice.

The stigma of out-of-wedlock births is less today, largely because of divorce. It's not uncommon to see women raising children alone (financially and geographically). In days past the children were actually awarded to the MEN, because it was assumed that only HE would be able to support them. That has changed now.. It;s not easy, but women are doing it every day..

Hard times KILL marriages, and we all know whom we can thank for the hard times.

[tubbacheez]

1. Marriage has always been about property rights.

And not necessarily for the female spouse, either. Historically, the passing of real property (land) to an heir has been the primary motivations for changes in the way marriage was viewed in various cultures.




Love, committment, and spiritual blessings can all be had without property rights. Why would societies come up with a tradition of marriage, then? To allow for clear passing of title to property.




This is why Catholic priests cannot marry. In the early Christian church, it wasn't an issue. But sometime around the Middle Ages, priests were supposed to take a vow of celibacy alongside their other vows.

The Church didn't want any prospective heirs claiming title to Church-held lands.

[A HERETIC I AM]

2. One of the ancient needs for marriage from a male perspective

was to ensure that the man could be sure he was the father of his womans children. A woman (Obviously) can have sex with several men when she is fertile and even she might not know who the father was. In a patriarchal society, it is necessary for the man to know he is the dad, thus the severe stigmas associated with adultery and sex before marriage. Notice how the bible treats the woman who sleeps around, so-to-speak as opposed to how it treats the men. Easy women are stoned in the square, easy men are......well......ignored, pretty much. Or rewarded.

[Cleita]

3. See my post here.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=3469488#3469622

[Warpy]

5. That's what those "begats" in the bible were all about.

Men finally "got" the link between their favorite pastime and childbirth, and were desperate to establish a male line, since once they'd got the connection they (as usual) decided they bore the entire credit for the process.

The whole insistence on female virginity is so the male could "own" the woman's first child, his heir (unless she was sick or practicing witchcraft, in which case it was another useless flowerpot of a girl).

[Cleita]

4. Randi is having a spirited discussion about this today too.

:kick:

[SemiCharmedQuark]

6. Marriages weren't better before. Women were just stuck in them.

Many of the older women I know had unhappy marriages. Their husbands flagrantly cheated on them, drank, was abusive... But they couldn't leave. They had no skills, the workplace was hostile towards women, and they couldn't afford to take care of their kids.

Now women are much more self-reliant. If their husbands try to pull the same crap that their fathers and grandfathers did, women can choose to get a divorce.

Along with this, men were roped into marriages as well. One mistake as a kid and you had to be married. Even though fathers need to take responsibility for their children, they should not have to be married to the mother to do so.

[SoCalDem]

7. Exactly.. The "institution" of marriage

was a carefully crafted proposition, and lots of women were trapped. The fact thet women are free to choose is what makes conservatives CRAZY..

[Spangle]

8. Pretty much correct

Widows and Widowers remarred to take care of the kids. Love wasn't an issue.

Women or Men, neither HAVE to get married these days. Men can take care of a home without a womans help. Even raise his own kids. Same with a woman. Both can earn an inome.

Now days, being married or not being married has NOTHING to do with proving paternity. Before, if your wife had the kid, you were responsible. Even if the child didn't look like anyone in either family, but maybe that traveling salesman. LOL! A child doesn't have to come from a married union to claim rights to an estate.

A man no longer has the right to beat his wife.

Getting married no longer means a life long commitment. It can be ended at any time.

The ONLY reason for getting married these days is the right to make choices for the partner when they are unable to do so. Personal items, land, money... it can be willed to them without marriage.

I've all ready told my spouse and family that if something happened to him, I wasn't getting remarried. Not because I'm "burned out" on the idea of marriage. WE have a GREAT marriage and great kids. I just don't see the legal reason for doing so. And a big mess if it doesn't turn out ok. And since I'm so spoiled now..... LOL!

[SoCalDem]

9. Even today, men are more likely to remarry..

Widows rarely marry. They may "live with" their new man, but they prefer to remain unmarried.. I had a sweet old friend who "lived in sin" (as she called it) with her boyfriend because to remarry would have wreaked havoc with their grown kids, and their social security checks, so they just had carefully crafted wills so that the home they shared could not be sold until the "last one" died..(It was his home)..