This week's lesson: Be careful what you say to yourself in parking lots

[KansDem]

Someone might be listening...

Last week I was coming out of my bank to get into my car. A HUGE truck had parked alongside me on the driver’s side. It was one of those monster pickups with extended cab (front and back seat) and a LOOOOONG bed. The whole thing looked to be 2 city-blocks long (and 10 feet high!)

Anyway, I was talking to myself (I had just had some unpleasant news about my finances) and as I approached the vehicles I stepped off the sidewalk into the parking lot and noticed these gigantic tires. I muttered to myself “F*cking big wheels,” then when I had to lean to my left to get around the mirror on the truck’s passenger side, I muttered again to myself, “F*cking big mirror.” Then as I unlocked my door to get in my car, I muttered again to myself, “…on a big f*cking truck.”

Well, I got in the car and inserted my keys in my ignition when I hear a “Hey!” Since I thought the parking lot was void of people, I ignored the call thinking it was coming from the street. Besides, by windows were rolled up making it more difficult to determine where the voice had come from. When I looked in my outside rearview mirror to back out, I noticed someone was looking down at me from the truck’s cab (which seemed to be twice as high as were I was). I was rolling down my window at this time to get a better look behind me and this Freeper said, “Dude, you got a problem?” Apparently, he had heard me. He was sitting in his truck with the windows cracked, but since the truck had tinted glass, I didn't notice him. He couldn’t have been more than 5’6” or 5’8”, maybe 150-160 lbs, but the image struck me as hilarious: he was wearing a baseball cap that looked to be 2 sizes too big for him. All I saw was a huge, long monster pickup with a diminutive driver wearing a baseball cap a couple sizes too big. I thought, "Man, you need to grow into your cap and truck!"

I pointed at him and burst out laughing hysterically! The Freeper must have thought I was crazy for he just backed out of his space and drove off without saying anything else. I wanted to say to him, “Yeah, I’ve got a problem! I don’t like people eavesdropping on conversations I have with myself!” The whole incident reminded me of a Monty Python meets "Hee-Haw" moment.

Anyway, the moral of this story is be careful about what you mutter to yourself, even in a parking lot, for someone might be listening. I must say, though, that even if he challenged me to a “trial by ordeal” (you know, a “fight” because I insulted his prized possession), I probably would have said “Bring it on, freeper,” and duked it out right there on the bank’s property. As I indicated earlier, I was a little upset over some not-so-happy financial news and am getting just a little sick and tired of the American Freeper/Fundie Mentality. Those two unpleasant experiences in combination gave me a kind of “f*ck it all, let’s dance” mindset.

But in closing, freepers can sure be touchy about their trucks…

[wicket]

1. LOL- great story

That guy was just looking for trouble- I'm glad you didn't take his bait. What you did instead was much more funny :rofl:

[zbdent]

2. I'm 5'4" and I say

he's overcompensating for something.

I'm fine in a more fuel-efficient small car. No ego problems here.

And Mrs. ZBDent doesn't complain.

[wicket]

3. Sounds like he's got Napolean syndrome

LOL! :D

[KansDem]

7. That's what made the whole scenario hard to believe!

I mean, my car isn't much to look at. If I'm sitting in it and someone passes by and says to themself, "What a shitty car!" I would probably shrug my shoulders and think, "Yeah, well it gets me from here to there..." or something similar. I wouldn't feel a need to challenge that person! This guy got really defensive when he overheard someone muttering something unpleasant about his truck (even if it was true) :)

Makes me wonder if he really knew his truck was a non-essential, gas-guzzling monster (wonder what his payments were?)

[Aristus]

4. Reminds me of the old joke about the freepneck about to get

truck-jacked.

Someone sticks a gun in his face and says: "Your truck or your life!"

Freephead says: "May-ann, Ah doan keer 'bout mah life, but NOBODY threatens m'truck!"

[Gold Metal Flake]

5. Seriously, I can not imagine a worse response toward him other than

pointing and laughing. Whatever inadequacy issues he was trying to compensate for were immediately brought to the surface. Excellent. :evilgrin:

[Tactical Progressive]

10. "Dude, that truck makes you look tiny!'

Bet he didn't think of that.

[Gold Metal Flake]

12. But, that is an insult, and he would expect that.

Spontaneous laughter, at his appearance and his faux aggression, is way more honest and cutting than an insult.

Seriously, being laughed at, in his tough-guy drag, is gonna gnaw on this guy for a long time.

[RebelOne]

6. But what gave you the impression he was a Freeper?

Just because someone has a big truck does not classify him as a Freeper. Did he have GW bumper stickers?

[newportdadde]

8. Well the original poster is a Kansas Dem...

So speaking as someone from the other side of the stateline I would definately take the odds on it being a freeper.

[KansDem]

9. Didn't see his back end, so don't know about W stickers...

You're right, I was making an assumption based on...

1. Huge, unnecessary pickup truck. Unnecessary, you ask? It was pristine Not a scratch on it. Shiny chrome wheels and radiant red paint. One could easily ascertain this truck was "all show and no go..."

2. The use of "Dude" to address me. "Sir" or "Mister" would have sufficed, but "Dude?"

3. The need to "challenge me." His "honor" was besmirched, therefore he had to defend that "honor." Real John Wayne stuff.

4. Baseball cap. Sure, baseball caps are now a "fashion accessory" worn by many and singularly, I wouldn't have thought about it. But put together the giant, pickup truck that's not used for picking up anything except perhaps clean foam rubber blocks, the use of "Dude" to address me, the cap, and the need to challenge me regarding remarks that weren't even meant for him, and I surmised "Freeper."

Oh yeah, he also had a bit of a twang in his speech, a little like how George W. Bush sounds when he wants to appeal to voters who drive huge, pristine monster pickups and who challenge anyone who questions their huge, pristine monster pickups.

[Ariana Celeste]

15. Lol..

I address even my mother as "man," or "dude".... Lol. But then I'm just a stoner. ;)

I honestly think the only person I haven't talked to like that over the last few months has been my dear old Gramma. She's my sweet southern belle, :).

Other than that, I probably would have thought the same! I may call everyone dude and man without thinking about it, but I don't drive. Lol.

[Scout1071]

16. Sadly, his description sounds about like my uncle who was

visiting KC from Oklahoma last weekend. Sigh. I'm trying to get him to come around.

KansDem...are you in KC? More specifically in the KS burbs? Just curious. OP woman here.

[beyurslf]

11. Sounds like someone was compensating for something.....

[Catherine Vincent]

13. Big Trucker is watching...

or should I say Big little Trucker is watching.:-)

[tx_dem41]

14. self-delete

Question already asked.

[driver8]

17. What do you expect? You insulted his large "penis enhancer"

Whenever I see some idiot driving those monster trucks I always wonder what the driver is over-compensating for.

[Dave Reynolds]

18. Does it ever occur to people

that some large trucks are actually used for work or farm purposes? Or does this thought stifle the righteous indignation and feeling of smug superiority?

Just askin', I don't own one.

[Scout1071]

19. Ummmm....not the truck that I'm picturing.

Like the one my uncle drove last weekend. Sure, he actually does live on a farm, but it's really more "property" than farm. It's not like he's actually a farmer. To the contrary, he works for Dell. I had to run an errand with him last weekend and he insisted on driving. So, he lowered the ladder and I climbed in the cab. First thing I asked him was if he just bought it. Turns out he that he's had it since last august. That thing smelled brand spankin', just drove it off the lot new. It had leather seats. Cab was bigger than my car. Kickin' paint job without a scratch on it. Sound like a truck that he uses for work?

I know a woman here who insists on driving the largest truck that Dodge makes. Diesel. It's a beast. Work truck? Hardly. She has a desk job.

THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT DRIVE ME NUTS. Farmers and the like that need and use them..no problem. But the rest?

[Dave Reynolds]

20. I know there are a lot of people who have them for "status",

or whatever reason they like to use. But I hate knee-jerk generalizations that pop up in these why-do-people-drive-what-they-drive threads.

Sorry to break in with a dissent, if I could kick myself in the ass I would.



:hi:

[leftofthedial]

21. "big" meant "small"

"truck" meant "penis"

and he knew it

[rockymountaindem]

22. How could you tell how big he was if he was sitting in the truck?