Do You Have Any Suggestions For A New Set Of Holy Commandments?

[DistressedAmerican]

Since the administration seems to be relying on Alberto Gonzalez to interpret the 10 commandments these days, I thought I would work up a brand spanking new, modern set. Apparently, the old one is "quaint" and no longer applies.

Here's the list I worked up. Any additional suggestions?

Submit them and I'll set up a new feature for them on the DA website:

http://www.seedsofdoubt.com/distressedamerican/main.htm

Better Listen Up George! God Commands It And HE helped You Stop Drinking Like A Fish And Sucking A Couple Hundred Hard Stolen Bush Dollars Worth Of Coke Up Your Nose Every Week!

[Sandpiper]

1. George Carlin's Condensed 10 Commandments

He whittled them down to two:

Thou shalt always be honest and faithful
to the provider of thy nookie.

&

Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course
they pray to a different invisible man than you.


http://www.dvrbs.com/GeorgeCarlin-TheTenCommandments.htm

[DistressedAmerican]

3. Great Bit! The Process Of Cutting Seems SO VERY Logical!

Seems Like a short list that Bush Could really agree with.

My favorite Carlin Line - "When you are born a human you get a ticket to a freak show. When you are born an American you get a front row seat!"

The guy is brilliant!

[Dookus]

2. I always thought

God could've given up one of the "how to worship me" commandments to make room for a prohibition on slavery. But I guess not buying beer on a Sunday was more important.

[Sandpiper]

4. Actually it would be no buying beer on Saturday

The Sabbath referred to in the 10 commandments was the seventh day of the week.

The christo-fascists can't even get that one right.

[earthboundmisfit]

5. I like this! And how about some "Thou SHALTS" instead of all "Shalt NOTS"?

Your list is GREAT!
As far as the "original" Ten Commandments go, though, I've always thought the whole "Thou Shalt NOT" thing was lopsidedly negative, from the first time I heard them as a little kid... I guess Jesus actually gave the only POSITIVE commandments - "Love thy neighbor as thyself", etc. But for some reason those are never included in the displays, hmmmm... I wonder why those are always forgotten?

[DistressedAmerican]

7. Got To Use The Punishment Stick To Keep Folks In Line.

It is not the rewards in heaven that really fight sin. It is the enernal damnation.

I actually thought about that while making the list. We can work on some.:toast:

[scarlett1]

6. Indian ten Commandments

I was in New Mexico a few weeks ago and ran into this poster in a store:
The Poster was titled Indian Not Native American so I titled it that way

The Indian Ten Commandments
1. Remain close to the great spirit.
2. Show great respect for your fellow beings.
3. Be truthful and honest at all times.
4. Do what you know to be right.
5. Look after the well being of mind and body.
6. Treat the Earth and all that dwells there on with respect.
7. Take full responsibility for your actions.
8. Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good.
9. Work together for the benefit of all mankind.
10.Give assistance and kindness whenever needed.

[DistressedAmerican]

8. Great List. Thanks For Those!

[BrotherBuzz]

9. Notice all the commandments are positive?

Not one do not in the lot. I can support that.

[DistressedAmerican]

11. Good Point! Imagine A World Where People Were Encouraged

to treat others well as opposed to not to treat them poorly! That sets a higher standard if you ask me.

[kweerwolf]

10. Ummmmm ... can we re-think #10

There's a lot of different ways to suck and not all of them are bad.:blush:

[DistressedAmerican]

12. Surprised There isn't More Interest In the Topic.

[Swamp Rat]

13. Keep it simple with just ONE commandment: "OBEY!"

[Technowitch]

14. My wife came up with two very simple commandments

1. Love everybody
2. No killing

I think that's enough, don't you?

[DistressedAmerican]

15. There are some people that I will NEVER love.

I have no love or forgiveness for this administration. They deserve a whole boatload of God's wrath. Old school Fire and brimstone!

I'll go for love everybody that doesn't wield arbitrary power over you. Fight those that do!

[DistressedAmerican]

16. kickin' it!

[DistressedAmerican]

17. Re-kickin'

:kick: