What Drove You Away From The Church?

[Placebo]

I guess it all started for me when I was very young. I was raised Catholic and was a big believer in my youth. It's funny, when I go back and read my baby books, my mother was always making notes in the margin like, "He really loves his rosary! He takes it with him everywhere!" My uncle thought I was going to be a priest, or at least a Deacon like him.

That all changed after I made my first communion. After that, I went back to Sunday School (we called it CCD, and it was actually on Saturday mornings, but oh well), on the road toward confirmation. My "teacher" handed out a thick packet of prayers and told us that we would be tested on them weekly, and unless we memorized them all, we wouldn't make our confirmation.

This struck me as odd, and I told her so. I raised my hand and asked, "Why does God care if I memorize prayers?" She just said, "You have to do it." I wasn't satisfied. I kept asking more questions, "Why would he care if someone else knows them and I don't? What difference does it make?", and so on. The teacher ended up getting pretty upset.

Fast forward a week later, my father got a call from the head of the CCD program and she requested a meeting. She told him it that it didn't really seem like CCD class was the right place for me, and it probably would be best if I didn't continue. You know what? I agreed. My father, of course, was thrilled at the prospect of me getting out of CCD, since he never wanted me to go in the first place. He was a product of physically abusive and psychologically damaging 1960s Catholic Schools, where a yard stick over the hand or head, or kneeling on beans was a common occurrence.

Years later, I often wonder of God, if he even exists (which I no longer believe he does), if he really finds that the other students who stayed with the program and made their confirmation, who were often cruel, mean, and vicious away from the watching eye of the instructor, and who couldn't read or write as well as I could, if they are "better" than me? Who can say?

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

1. I converted 2 years ago

So I was drawn to the Church.

[alcuno]

52. Welcome! I can't imagine not being a Catholic.

I'm not even convinced that you can give it up.

[Donailin]

74. lol, i just posted that point.

It's hard to not bash the church and defend it also.

If it weren't for the Catholic Church, we wouldn't have the gospels and act and letters compliled as we know it. If it weren't for the church, we wouldn't have had so much war. If it werent for the Church, we wouldn't have MichaelAngelo, Davinci or Raphael. If it weren't for the Church we wouldn't have such a dysfunctional view of human sexuality. and on and on . . .

[fishwax]

104. Culturally Catholic

is how I think of it. It seems impossible to distance myself completely, though I'm no longer a practicing Catholic.

It's a strange split, feeling compelled to defend her on the one hand and being unable to avoid so many obvious critiques on the other.

[pauliedangerously]

106. To take it a step further....

If it weren't for the Church, none of us would exist. People would exist, but none of US would because it would have resulted in a completely different combination of breeding, migration, conquests, etc.

Think of all the people who wouldn't have existed if the Holocaust hadn't happened, or the Civil War, or the American Revolution.

I realize that this is off the main point of the original post, but your comment evoked this thought.

There have been many horrible occurences in history, but the further back you go, the more relevant they are to our individual existences. It's important to learn from the past, but I for one am glad all of those things happened; otherwise, I probably wouldn't be here.

[leftofthedial]

2. the sheer stupidity of the whole myth

nonsense

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

4. You all set to alienate some more Liberals?

Good work

[mutus_frutex]

32. So, we have to just keep quiet, right?

To me, my atheism is more important than my political ideas. It is the overarching theme of my personal philosophy of life.

Are you willing me alienate me instead?

[Just Me]

42. Oh, nevermind. Whatever.

[mutus_frutex]

46. What a waste of good electrons..

[jonnyblitz]

9. same for me. nt

[illflem]

3. The horrible music and constant sitting up and down

[Warpy]

26. That didn't bother me, although I found it silly

When I was 10, a priest came into the classroom and launched into a tirade on the "slaughter of the innocents" and finished up with the party line that a woman who was dying in childbirth should be prepared to give her life up gladly because the child might be a boy.

I knew at that point there was no place for women within that church unless they enjoyed being despised and disposable.

I have no use for the church. I have a great deal of respect for people who stayed, though, because they tend to be far more liberal than their Protestant brethren.

[SharonAnn]

98. Thanks. I left because of their attitude toward women. And it seems

to have gotten worse over the years.

They just don't get it.

[Donailin]

77. hey, at least we have snack time

crouton o' Christ?

[nostamj]

5. a green, '69 dodge dart.... but seriously

nothing 'drove' me away.

but, there was nothing to keep me either.

i don't believe in any 'organized' religion. period.

i've studied many, and learned a great deal. mostly, I found my faith to be my own and did not require structure or filtering from an organized church or clergy.

[Bellamia]

64. Nothing "drove" me away

as you said, nor kept me. I just kinda walked out after learning of other faiths, I was a Lutheran married to a Catholic, a "fallen away" one I might add. Over the years I've come to see my original "religion" as second-hand, I didn't chose it myself. Now that I have chosen I too "require no structure or filtering from an organized church or clergy."

[kaitykaity]

6. We were poor

and the folks at church only cared about how big
their cars were and how nice their clothes were
and how much fancy jewelry they wore.

They treated us like we were shit on their shoes.
The hypocrisy was just stunning.

I was 13 when I said I'm not going, and the folks never
made me go back. They stopped shortly after.

[Bouncy Ball]

7. Well, I was never Catholic

but I left mainstream churches for much the same reasons. I asked too many questions, got no answers, was marginalized and treated badly as a result.

I was a Methodist. In the Methodist church, most will freely admit to the Adam and Eve story being allegory, not fact.

But then when I asked how they can call that story allegory and other stories in the Bible fact, they weren't happy with me. My husband asked even harder questions.

We now attend a UU (Unitarian Universalism) church, where people of all beliefs are welcome, no creed. We love it. We can ask all the questions we want and aren't treated badly or marginalized as a result. We are encouraged to use our powers of reason. It's so damn refreshing.

[RevCheesehead]

56. What state are you in, BB?

Because Methodists are the greatest chamelions of all... we take on the form of whatever dominant religion is in the area.

[ComerPerro]

8. I don't like anyone telling me what God thinks

I am more of a deist than anything.

I learned the history of the Catholic Church in Europe, and was horrified. And I saw hypocricy here in Churches in the area, including my own.

Add to that asshats like Pat Robertson...

I don't trust anyone, anywhere to speak for God. People are too damn corrupt.

[AnnInLa]

10. I learned how to read

[nolabels]

102. Santa Claus, when I found out they were just making it all up.............

When I found out, I was just shattered at the time (6 years old) :cry:

Reading is such a joy, it makes finding out about all the other lies people like telling so much more interesting to look into :think:

just another LIAR Bush page
http://www.flex.com/~aitken/roshi/pages/liars.html

[Benhurst]

11. My parents gave me a book entitled "What Presbyterians Believe."

I read it, only to announce I didn't believe it. And I haven't looked back since.

P.S. Sorry, but I didn't notice your use of "The Church." Even to a defrocked Presbyterian, the Roman Catholic Church remains a church. Nevertheless, I didn't set out consciously to corrupt your thread with a Protestant story of loss of faith.

:spank:

[libnnc]

12. When the United Methodist Church

started defrocking and (in my opinion) spiritually terrorizing openly gay and lesbian ministers. The first time I heard of them doing this was in the mid 1980s. I was in high school then and I had been contemplating going into the ministry. But after the church fired an openly lesbian minister who was in a committed relationship (I think it was in the north east) and took away her credentials despite the full support of her congregation, I knew then that the church would not want me. So, I left. Haven't been back since.

That was over 15 years ago. I'll come back to the Methodist Church as soon as they grow a back bone and stand up to conservatives and stop worrying about their "bottom line"...

It's all about $$$ and putting fannies in the pews.

[Maru Kitteh]

37. I think the UMC is coming around - slower than I would like but it's

always that way. http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2004-03-20-wa-gay-pastor_x.htm

I think UMC is much more progressive than most, It's why I'm there. We have two transgendered folks at our UMC in this tiny little prairie town and I don't know of anyone who is not accepting and open to either of them; and that's a big deal right here in Big Red Country. For me I would rather fight for inclusion and openness from within the church than stand outside and complain.

[libnnc]

44. As long as they

continue to strip credentials from good hearted, intelligent clergy who just want to be honest about their lives and relationships...

I will stand outside this church and complain, and complain, and complain at the top of my lungs. All people are of spritual value. That includes open gays and lesbians. What the UMC did to Beth Stroud, Karen Damann and Mary Denman is shameful and wrong. Now that I think about it, I didn't leave the church, my church left me.

[RevCheesehead]

58. You're absolutely right, and I grieve with you.

I saw too many good pastors-to-be leave seminary, because they were not welcomed because of their orientation.

I also served in the WNC conference - mostly in the piedmont(Eden, Asheboro, Greensboro, Dobson). After several major rejections by congregations who couldn't stand having a woman pastor, I woke up, and moved back to Wisconsin (my home).


The problem with the Methodists is not really the $$, it's that its biggest and most powerful membership is in the South. The UMC up here is decidedly more liberal - and if it were up to us, we would ordain gay/lesbian clergy. (In fact, there are a number who serve here: it's a "don't ask/don't tell" policy, I think.)

Here's hoping that we will have our own awakening, and finally do what's right, not what's popular.

[drfresh]

85. As a UMC pastor ..

..my good ol' mom has been taking on this issue (I do believe she knows most of those women personally), and has seen the church torn about it... she fully supports gay/lesbian rights and from what I hear so do a LOT of clergy in the UMC , and the number is growing. My guess is that its just a matter of time before the LGBT community is embraced by churches.

Just know that there is a good chunk of church leaders out there who are just as outraged as you are...

[RevCheesehead]

89. I agree.

The clergy really aren't the problem - it's the laity, who threaten to leave if the church becomes more liberal.

I once asked my DS (District Superintendent) if their threat to leave the church was real. He said "very much so." And I challenged him with "and that would be a bad thing because...?" He didn't answer.

But what really ticked me off is when those elected to General Conference all met ahead of time and agreed "for the sake of unity" that all should vote the same way - against homosexual ordination. It was purely political, and an abomination.

[sonicx]

13. I went to Catholic schools until college...

after that, i woke up.

[candy]

14. A couple of things--

1. I could never get a priest to explain why the holy days of obligation were different in different countries in a so called universal church. I was brought up to believe you would BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY if you missed Mass on one of these holydays.People in Ireland HAD to attend Mass on St Patrick's Day and in the US it was not a holyday.I was very young when I tried to get an answer to this. None of it made sense.

2. Years later,after I had my 4th child in 3 1/2 years, I asked a priest for permission to take the birth control pill. He said no and told me to take valium.

I walked out and never looked back and this was many years ago.

[bluedog]

15. I married a Catholic

they wanted me to convert.I said no.had to be married outside the alter.........was told to sign a paper where our kids would be brought up Catholic......spouse wasn't really a devote Catholic...so we went to church once in a while.....but always got the "ENVELOPES" for donations each month.....
they wanted our money based on our earnings.............finally I sent all back and told them to STICK them up their "collective" ass........

:grr:

[GreenPoet64]

16. Hypocrites . . .

My Christian father was arrested for molesting my younger sister in 1987.

My Christian brother who was a worship leaderat a large well-known mega church was living a double live--gambling and sex related.

In 2000 I discovered my Christian husband was frauding insurance companies (faking back injuries and car jackings) while working for a major pharmaceutical company--when sales weren't good, he'd sue someone for something.

Each of these individuals had a huge impact on my life.

I divorced my husband in August of 2001 and divorced organized religion as well.

[Pegleg Thd]

29. After serving as an

associate pastor of a fundamentalist church for seven years I got fed up with the political fighting among board members and the lies from the bishop. Told them what to do with their church and left. Even though I have a doctorate in Theology I don't attend any of the so called organized religions. We are better off without them.:nuke: :nuke: :nuke:

[ckramer]

75. good for you

[ScreamingMeemie]

17. When they sent me that big fancy brochure asking me to vote yes

on Prop 2...and the gay marriage ammendment. Done, finished. My church is in my heart. :hi:

[NVMojo]

18. Hypocrisy and "the holier than thou" attitude

...oh, and I guess I should add "my christian ex-husband who had an affair with his third cousin."

Only thing is, it was actually the best thing to happen to me ever. I was set free!!!

[WeGotBTK]

19. I still go to Temple n/t

[DiverDave]

20. Um, a '56 Ford

my mom's car the last time I went.

[Totally Committed]

21. Just a few little things....

The Church's Position on the following:

(1) Women's Issues and Equality

(2) Child-Molesting Priests

(3) A Woman's Right to Choose

(4) The Pope's "infallability"

(5) Pope Pius XII's relationship with the Nazis during WWII

(6) Support for Bush over Kerry in the last election

(7) Their anti-Condom policy (Esp. in countries where AIDS is exploding)

(8) "Absolution"

I could go on, but you can see where I'm coming from. I was thrown out of Parochial School after the first grade. Sister Superior told my mother that my "personality was better suited to a Public School education." That was in 1955, and I never looked back. As soon as I was old enough to make the decision, I left the church.

TC

[Freedom_from_Chains]

49. personality was better suited to a Public School education

Asked questions that demanded logical answers did you? I can see how that might not work at real well. It was somewhat the same response I got in the fundamentalist church when I pointed out that if the creation story were to be taken as fact, then that would mean the ancestry of man was in fact incestuous.

[Totally Committed]

61. The nuns HATED the questions!

... and they never answered any of them, as I recall.

Out of my family, I was the only kid who ended up a Liberal or a Democrat, too, come to think of it... I wonder if there is a cause/effect?

TC

[Freedom_from_Chains]

65. and they never answered any of them, as I recall

Yes they never answer because they can't be answered that is in rational terms. Outside of the standard "because the bible says so" and of course the tried and true "God works in mysterious ways."

The system was not intended to be subjected to critical analysis, which would be rational, and religion by definition is irrational, in that one is required to believe that which is not believable.

[givemebackmycountry]

22. Two things happened to me...

I was one of those parochial school attendees in the 60's in New York City.

St. Francis of Assisi in Astoria, Queens.

One nun used to whack me on the knuckles with a brass ruler when I misbehaved. But, that's not what drove me away.

The night of my confirmation.
My Mom was beside herself she was so happy.
The Nuns had us lined up in the basement of the church, ready to march us upstairs in an orderly fashion.
I was the tallest boy in the class, so I was always the last in every line.
The boys in front of me were pushing each other, just messing around, being boys if you will.
One of them got pushed into me knocking me down.
I got up and pushed back.
Next thing I know, a nun has me by the ear and is dragging me away for "starting trouble" and sits me down in a metal folding chair and tells me to stay there.
I hear the organ playing and see the others leaving.
I had to sit there for the whole service, by myself, crying because I knew what was happening upstairs.
My Mom waiting for me, knowing I would be last in line, and not seeing me there would be furious.
She beat me for 12 blocks on our way home for getting thrown out of confirmation and missing the services.

My grandfather, a huge barrel chested Irishman, died when I was like ten years old.

I remember my Mom crying and calling up the parish asking the Monsignor of the Church to come and perform the last rites.
He said he couldn't do it because he was "busy".
Busy doing what? she asked.
"Watching the Mets baseball game" he said and then he hung up.

That was pretty much it for me.

[applegrove]

23. I couldn't buy the miracles. I couldn't conger up anyone to pray to -

I felt inadequate and isolated. Decided there were other ways to express and feel the love.

[Just Me]

24. The contradictions made me curious.

So, I ended up reading about numerous religions including new age disciplines.

I believe religion can be a source of strength for people. It's like any institution: can be used to do good works or abused for destructive purposes.

[MountainLaurel]

25. My great-grandfather left

"The Church" back in the 1940s because he was upset with the rate at which the town priest was knocking up girls at the parochial school. The family, except for one branch of hypocrites, mainly attended a Baptist church.

I left that church (fundamentalist, independent) in college after finding out that my best friend was bisexual. I couldn't comprehend how anyone could think that this intelligent, strong, and kind person -- who lent me her car when mine was broken down, held my hair out of my face when I was throwing up, and made me pudding and mashed potatoes when I had my wisdom teeth out -- was the spawn of evil.

Then I started reading about pre-judaism religions in the middle east and left christianity altogether, wondering what else I haven't been told.

[Fenris]

27. I was never into it, really.

My memories of Mass involve my sister and I trying not to laugh when the priest was doing that sing-song thing: "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spiiiiiiii-riiiiiiit." The entire process seemed silly to me - the ritual, the standing/sitting/kneeling process, the goofy hymns that often sounded like folk songs with "Jesus" inserted into them.

But church always had a certain comical overtone to it. I remember my mother, during one of her many Catholic Guilt phases, decided that we were going start going to church every week. We had recently moved to California and I suppose she thought it was her chance to start anew with Jesus. So the first time we went, we went to the 12 o'clock Mass - which seemed logical, sense we were probably the laziest people going to church. We sat down, and the first thing I remember thinking as I sat there was, "Man, there sure are a lot of Hispanic people here." When Mass started, I realized why: this was the Spanish Mass. Since none of us spoke any Spanish, we were forced to sit there feigning reaction to what the priest said, my mother stunned beyond words and my sister and I trying to contain our laughter once again.

The last time I was in church was Christmas a few years ago. I had agreed to go because my grandparents were there (churchgoers all) and they needed a driver. We didn't go to the old Catholic Church, with it's wood paneled walls and somber beauty - no, we had to go to the new church, St. Mammon of the Holy Dollar or whatnot, a spectacle of affluence and ornamentalism. The mass started off fine, until the deacon began to lecture on why not just abortion and contraception were wrong, but also in vitro fertilization. Because, said his immanence, in vitro fertilization made a child out of selfishness, not love of God. I told my grandparents to excuse me, and I walked out of the church. I don't intend on ever walking back in, either. I don't need anyone to tell me to act morally, and I certainly don't need anyone telling me that couples who utilize in vitro fertilization (like my aunt and uncle, for example) are selfish.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

30. "St. Mammon of the Holy Dolla"

Ha - I love you man!

[Fenris]

35. Well, I was attempting not to be insulting here.

I know there are many good liberal Catholics, but that church disgusted me on many levels. The church itself was actually a splinter group from the old church composed mainly of rich conservatives who found the old church too liberal. They met in high school gym for a long time, raising funds to build their McMansion of God over a period of time. The process was, not surprisingly, delayed when it came to light that the deacon had embezzled funds and skipped town with the loot.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

48. This is why I stick with the Holy Orders -Capuchin Franciscans in particar

They have a degree of autonomy and freedom to be the liberals they are.

[LostInAnomie]

28. Rabid followers who never question dogma, the idea that religion...

... has anything to do with your access to God, unwillingness of church leaders and followers to accept facts that don't agree with their interpretation of the Bible, the use of religion as a weapon, etc.

I just got tired of it. It seemed to me that the church is more harmful than helpful in Man's approach towards God. I couldn't be part of that.

[Maru Kitteh]

31. Most of the accounts I see like this come from former Catholics

Some from overly zealous fundie Protestants too, but more from Catholics and the sad thing to me is that so many have the "we are the only TRUE church, it's everything or nothing" mentality so deeply embedded into them that they lose all faith, altogether. You didn't even have to say Catholic, just "the church". The structure is often so damn rigid it doesn't allow for questions, free thought or dialogue. There is only to do as you are told.

Although I am a practicing Christian I believe all faiths are basically a journey to the same spiritual place. Faith brings peace and serenity to my life and nurtures the better parts of who I can be. I hope someday the rejection you went through looses it's teeth and your soul becomes quiet again, then maybe you will find faith in your own way, whatever that may be.

[Liberal Veteran]

33. Homophobia-Classism-Stupidity

Southern Baptist was the church I grew up in. Around the mid-70's they started shifted to the idiocy that now permeates the Southern Baptist convention.

Homophobia: The big one. Being gay and southern baptist are not exactly compatible.

Classism: My church started becoming a fashion show and the poorer people in the church weren't treated very well.

Stupidity: They would believe ANYTHING. I can't tell you how many outright lies I was told about this or that conspiracy to make everyone atheists or how KISS was a rock group of Satan worshipers or Hollywood was trying make a movie that portrayed Jesus as gay. If there was an urban legend pertaining to religion, I was told it in the church.

[mutus_frutex]

34. My parents pushed me into catechism

I got out as soon as I could. High school was a pretty important thing to me because I discovered my scientific side. When I got to college I was out and a full fledged agnostic/atheist (depending on who I was talking to.. :-) By the time I entered into grad school I was an anti-religious/skeptic activist.

And, as you can see from a lot of my posts here, I still am.. :-)

Cheers.

[Paranoid_Portlander]

36. My parents converted me to atheism at age six.

At age six, I thought something was fishy when I was told that God would listen to my prayers if I spoke quietly into my folded hands. What's with the folded hands, I wondered. Is this another scam like that Santa Claus thing I asked my mother. "Yes", she replied, "you're right." So mommy, daddy, and I lived happily ever after as atheists from that point on.

[0007]

38. God!

[blm]

39. Raised Catholic by a fundie arch-conservative mom. I liked my church

and my school which were fairly liberal to moderate. The nuns supported Cesar Chavez' strike and asked us to boycott grapes, etc...

I said my prayers EVERY night of my life up until 1994.

The last night I said those prayers was Jan.16, 1994.

At 4:30 am, Jan.17, the Northridge earthquake took my faith away. It was so arbitrary, yet there were all these creepy fundamentalists declaring God punished us for voting for Clinton.

When you are completely surrounded by fear and death and destruction to the degree we were in our neighborhood, the last thing you need to hear is that God TARGETED your area to destroy or handicap you for political reasons.

I've been an atheist ever since. It all became just TOO unbelievable. Especially after the McVeigh bombing when so many were killed, including babies. No way could any God have allowed that to happen. Same with 9-11. Same with bombing the babies and children and innocents of Afghanistan and Iraq.

Nature is arbitrary and greedy men are evil. God and the devil are just convenient excuses for the spread of that evil.

[erinlough]

40. I was raised Lutheran and I am a woman

enough said, they don't let women speak in church in this faction (synod), don't let them vote either. I tried other church denominations and finally decided I was better off without organized religion. Plus to be honest I always felt like I was faking it with the other parishoners. I really didn't think like these people.

[hobbit709]

41. My Great-great grandfather

on my mom's side of the family was officially excommunicated back in the 1880s. He publicly questioned the Pope's infallibility in northern Italy at the time. Nobody on that side of the family has had much use for any church since.

[dogman]

43. Hypocrisy

Having religion teachers admit that they lie to the children because they wouldn't understand the truth and realizing what faith is. The interesting thing about the Church is finding out it is pure politics and that RW thinking feels the need to control the members just like American society.

[Freedom_from_Chains]

45. Reality

n/t

[AutumnMist]

47. When I was Younger We Went To Church

but the whole message was more like it was a social club than actually getting any message across. We wore our best shoes, nicest dresses, etc. So it was like going to a formal function rather than going to accept or learn anything about spiritual enlightening. As I got older I fell away from it, and to be very blunt, I ran as fast as I could from the organized religion of my youth. Many years later, around the age of 28 or so, I started to read about all kinds of religion. And I picked up the Bible. It really spoke to me in many ways. I was the first person to stand in line and fight it every step of the way. But I realized that it was alright for me to have my own personal relationship with God. It had nothing to do with others or how I dressed. Or Sunday dinners. It was about my spirit and it was a wonderful and freeing discovery for me to do it on my own terms without all the crap that I had from growing up. It has brought me much comfort and helped to see things in a very different, less angry light. But thats just me. And we all have the right to believe or not believe what we want. Thats fine by me as well. :)

[Bigmack]

50. Education...

12 years of catholic education.. the last 4 with Jesuits. The Jebbies teach you to think... and I learned pretty well.

I no longer believe in the Occult..... not god, or demons, or the tooth fairy.

No big blowups or perversions... I was an altar boy and no priest ever made any moves on me... but just a slow understanding that people around me had deep, complicated delusional patterns that I was somehow supposed to adopt.

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, understood as a child.....when I became a man I put away the childish things."
1 Corinthians 14:20

"I was raised an Irish Catholic... now I'm an American." George Carlin

[Blue Diadem]

51. hypocrisy, nastiness, holier-than-thou attitude,

I prefer to worship God on my own rather than be judged by what I wear, what my hair looks like, who I know or who I am or am not related to..

[Mz Pip]

53. I had a couple of eye opening moments

THe first one was when I was in 8th grade. It was during the Civil Rights Movement and we were having a class discussion about civil rights and segregation. Some of the venom towards Blacks by my classmates was shocking. What disturbed me was the fact that the teacher, Sister Mary Whatever, did nothing to correct or challenge these hateful comments. A "We are all God's creatures' would have gone a long way in my mind.

Then when it came time to go to high school, those of us who were going on to the public high school were taken into the back of church and told that if we went to the public high school we would all be corrupted and end up in Hell.

I hung in a couple of more years but the final nail in the coffin for me came during the sermon at Mass when the priest was doing a major condemnation of birth control and made the statement "If you can't follow the laws of the Church, we don't want you."

OK, fine, I'm outta here.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[Canuckistanian]

54. For me, it was this "faith" business

My parents never went to church, but they sent me and my sister off to sunday school every week from the time I was in grade three or so.
My sister and I went dutifully to the Presbyterian church with our offering money in hand (Later on, we realized that no one was keeping track, so we bought candy with it).

Then, when I was in grade 7, I was back in school in September and sunday school was starting up again. I just told my parents I wasn't going back. Fine with us, they said. I knew they couldn't force me to because they didn't go themselves and I could throw that in their face. But they really didn't care.

What really surprised me was the response of the kids I went to sunday school with. They asked me why I wasn't coming and I said it didn't make any sense to me, to spend all this time worshipping this entity that I couldn't see, hear or feel. I thought, Why were the Israelites so lucky? Why did God appear so regularly to them, giving them advice on everything, blessing all these people and doing miracles. Why wasn't he here now?

Well, they pleaded and begged for me to come back but I quietly said no. THEN they got nasty, chastising me and telling me I was going to go to Hell and then finally just shunning me. I was disappointed that they weren't my friends anymore but also disgusted at their behaviour.

And since then, almost any self-decribed "Chrsitian" I've met has been a scumbag. Loudmouthed, back-stabbing, hypocritical, gossip-mongering and cruel. I'm not saying all Christians are like that, but there's sure a disproportianate amount where I lived.

[Llewlladdwr]

55. How....interesting

You know, just a few days ago we had a thread where the argument was made that Christians should not be allowed to witness for their faith 'cause it's incredibly rude, and no one cares, and besides everyone knows atheists/non-religious folks don't do that crap. And yet now we have a thread full of atheists/non-religious folks testifying as to how they came to their beliefs. Interesting indeed.

[ultraist]

59. Witnessing or evangelisizing?

If it's the thread I'm thinking of, the discussion was that it's rude for others to try to convert you to their religion by evangelisizing.

Sharing one's beliefs is not the same as pushing someone to convert to your religion. BIG DIFF

[Donailin]

82. Preach the gospel daily

use words when necessary.

Francis of Assisi <--one totally cool guy

[sakabatou]

57. Too many bar and bat mitzvahs

[independentchristian]

60. Yourself

Are you going to just leave the "country" as well, because of the Bush administration?

It was ultimately your decision to leave the church as well.

[2bfree]

62. I got caught up in the evangelical movement about 17 years ago.

We got tired of the greed (always wanting money for a bigger church and more money for the pastor), the cliquishness of the church (we never made it to the "cool" group) and the hypocrisy of the members. It amazed us that out of the 60 couples in our Sunday school class a good half or more were screwing around and then divorcing when each Sunday they all were busy telling us how bad it was to drink or go to dances. After we quit it was like a veil being lifted, I think we were being brainwashed.

[Freedom_from_Chains]

66. I think we were being brainwashed

Bingo!!!! You are todays grand prize winner.

Oh, and congratulations on your return to reality. Yeah I know its hard sometimes but in the long run it works out ok.

[bush_is_wacko]

63. Try having three heterosexual member of your family infected with

AIDS in the 1980's and hearing from church leaders that it was God's punishment for their immoral lifestyle. When the last one wanted to be cremated so as to insure the virus inside her would never infect anyone else the church told her cremation was a sin. She was paralyzed with fear over death by lethal injection with morphine because her church taught her suicide was a sin. As a result she lived out every single pain and indignant thing her diseased body was willing to put her through and believe me that was like watching someone die of prolonged torture for five years. The Catholic church couldn't be bothered with last rights for her or either one of her parents despite the fact they had NEVER missed a day of church in their entire lives. Their parish priest was otherwise engaged when the family called with requests for all three members of our family and as I mentioned earlier the parents of one of them.

For a short period of time I think she blamed the gay community for her disease, but she eventually got over that and realized the disease was much bigger and her church was literally screwing her out of death with dignity.

Not a single member of my rather large family has ever stepped foot in Sunday mass since then. We have all attended funerals and weddings at churches, but none of us have held our weddings or funerals there. My church let me down in a way I can never forgive them for. they were supposed to be there in the end for EVERY Catholic, but they left us without hope in a very difficult time. That is NOT what church should be about.

I understand they are better about this now, but none of us can forgive them for their disrespect.

[ultraist]

67. mmmm, better? Didn't the Pope just say "Gay marriage is evil?"

Not so sure much has really changed...

[bush_is_wacko]

70. Thanks for that. It only reaffirms why I left in the first place.

They have no "moral support" to offer unless you are willing to gay bash and go against all your natural God given instincts to reconstitute their propaganda.

My mother and several others of us chewed a parish priest out over the last refusal to come give last rights to one of his own parishioners. We regret actually yelling at him, but I don't think any of us have ever regretted leaving the church behind us. We still pray like Catholics though, I guess the rituals are still ingrained. All those "memorized prayers" still bring a bit of comfort, but if I am any indication the REAL prayers are the ones I don't say out loud and in chanting mode!

[Riding this Donkey]

68. They hypocrisy! Ever since the molestations, i have not been back.

[Donailin]

81. Nor have I

my son was confirmed during the break of the scandal in 2002, but since then we pretty much decided that going to Church means doing God's will (the golden rule)wherever we are.

Jesus said, "The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath."

and, "I desire mercy, not sacrifice!"

[mim]

69. Nothing. I'm still there.

How dare you think I'm non-religious :D

[Donailin]

71. Oddly enough, Osama Bin laden

I am a baptised Roman Catholic, but being the curious woman I am, after 911 I read all manner of literature on Islam, a religion I knew verry little of. I bought a Qu'ran and completely annotated it along with a friend of mine. Being the theologically superior Catholics that we are, we decided that Muhammad was the anti-Christ because of his last wife Aisha, who was 12 when he married her.

We were positively convinced that Muhammad was a pedophile and that Islam promoted the practice covertly. We logged hundreds of hours of phone conversations lamenting that 'horrible religion,' it's lack of real divinity, purposeful notion of mercy and disrespect for nonMuslims.

About three months later the Boston Globe broke the Catholic Church pedophile scandal. You know what they say about the finger pointing.

A year later when I was disillusioned with the church pretty thoroughly, Bush started on the iraq deal. I saw all the lies being told as history being made, but who was writing that history? What version was taken as truth? That made me rethink the whole issue of scriptures and the authors, and ultimately the fathers of the Church who compiled the bible as we know it.

If now, in a supposed age of enlightenment, history is bee\ing written by liars and the church is corrupt, then it only goes to follow that I must doub what I have studied nearly half my life.

I believe in an historical Jesus and I believe that like Buddha, his way is the correct approach to all things divine as well as a perfect prototype on how to conduct myself as a human on Earth, however I no longer believe in the institutional Church. There are too many contradictions between Christ the man and the institution. Men lie for power, the Church has so many scandals throughout history that I believe Christ himself would have applied his condemnations to the Popes/Priests that we have cannonized and celebrate.

Excpet for maybe St.Francis and St. Patrick.

Hey one can never totally drop being a good Catholic <g>

[s-cubed]

72. I survived 12 years of parochial schools. What drove me away

was the hypocrisy, attitude towards women, and the anti-intelluatualism.

[rocktop15]

73. 10 years of a "Christian" education

Didn't learn much. Didn't care for 95% of the administration. My fellow students were good people, I had a lot of friends there. The problem was the "Christ-based" education. I didn't see Christ's actions and thoughts reflected in a school based on conformity and suffocating free thought and speech.

I just wanted to point out that I do not consider myself a Christian, but a follower of Christ's teachings.

[B Calm]

76. The politics..

[Walt Starr]

78. The church itself

I was baptised a Catholic. I've visited a Catholic Mass a few times. I've never been too impressed with the dogma.

[Catshrink]

79. The way I was treated when openly discussing the inappropriate sexual

conduct of a priest. It was in the Episcopal Church, which was supposed to be supportive of those who had been mistreated, at least that's what they said! Turned out I wasn't supposed to talk about it, just keep silent and let the bishop handle it. Right. The bishop was this priest's good friend.

I talked to an attorney who aske me, "Why would you want to be part of church that treated people this way?"

I said "hypocrits," and walked away, shaking the dirt off my proverbial sandals. Enough.

[Silverhair]

80. I am still in church. NT

[SemperEadem]

83. Intolerance and their inability to mind their own business

where my life is concerned.

I choose to believe what I want from the information I get. It's not required that I spend every Sunday in a room with others to hear what I can read for myself 7 days a week and be subjected to someone's subjective interpretation of what they just read.

I, too, was raised Catholic and in my young adult life, gave protestantism a whirl--and didn't like it much better. Protestantism turned me off as much as catholicism--more so because to me, choich was more a fashion show, gossip fest and meat market than it was a true place of worshipping God. I get more of a religious experience by sitting at the ocean and watching the waves come into shore or driving to the mountains and looking at their majesty. It doesn't require a new dress, a new hat and purse to make everyone else feel comfortable with my presence.

[Ladyhawk]

84. Everything. :(

I could launch into a verbal diatribe on this issue, but for me it's been worn out. The story needs a novel. I still can't walk into a church without feeling bad vibes.

[bettyellen]

86. a nun said to my entire 3rd grade class that my brother went to hell

because he killed himself. i became an atheist at eight.

[Momgonepostal]

91. What a horrible thing to tell a child! :-(

[Cleita]

96. Many of them said horrible things to children.n/t

[CornField]

87. The pastor requested my family and I leave -- we did and never went back.

I was in the middle of a personal situation which was (in the pastor's words) "causing a rift in the congregation."

[kiraboo]

88. I knew it would please my mother-in-law to-be if I was confirmed

in the Catholic Church, so I went to classes with the local priest for some months. A few weeks before the wedding I went through the confirmation ritual. As the priest was asking me if I believed the Catholic Church was the one true church etc. etc. it suddenly struck me... NO! I didn't believe it! In fact, I knew that to be a load of crap! And I guess up until then I hadn't realized I was going to have to make this assertion. I married as planned and then proceeded to have my first child. When we decided not to have her baptized my mom-in-law proclaimed that I had "lied to God." Though this seemed a ridiculous statement I struggled with my "desertion" for many years. Meanwhile my in-laws and others couldn't help but make the involuntary point, with everything they said, did or held dear, that the Church did not INclude, it EXcluded. Finally, thanks to the last election when my in-laws voted for Bush on the abortion issue, the last of my doubts vanished. Christian hypocrisy amazes me; I can't bring myself to be part of it. I am finally comfortable with my personal God and am just as comfortable if somebody does not believe. It's a path, it's a process. Whatever.

[two gun sid]

90. A Police Cruiser.

I was picketing my local catholic church for remodeling with non-union contractors.

[Cleita]

92. The meaness.

Well, I have to honestly say I really didn't believe in the fantasy stuff any more than I did Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny from an early age, but I was willing to go along with it. I enjoyed a lot about going to Church, the ritual, the music, the readings from scripture. I liked the sermons that tried to inspire us to be better people.

OK, now for the meaness. First there was the kid, also a neighbor of ours, who was asked to leave parochial school because her mother and father got divorced. Then the nuns said we shouldn't go to her house because it was a house of sinners. Needless to say I played with her and I thought maybe she had been kicked out of school because she couldn't afford the tuition, but she told me it was true that they had been excommunicated and that's why she had been kicked out of school and the church for that matter.

Another classmate said her parents, who had objected to this, said the monsignor had said it was to protect the children of the undivorced Catholic children. They shouldn't think that divorce wasn't sinful.

Well, that was one of many such situations that I endured until I was twenty-years-old and was able to divorce myself from the Church. Up until then I was stuck paying lip service because it was where I was educated and I really had no choice. Now I'm not saying all Catholics are evil. Many do service to the church and the community that the Catholic Church really doesn't deserve. These good people devote their service, loyalty and piety to an institution that uses them up for its own means.

I really appreciate the many nuns and priests who have devoted their lives to making the world a better place and there are many of them.

[Stealther]

93. They asked me to leave

Similar deal as you, Placebo. I was asking too many questions.

The pastor eventually asked my parents in and requested they withdraw me from Sunday School because I was "disruptive."

[Dangerman]

94. George Bush twisted the Chritstian message...

For his own purposes.

[sffreeways]

95. Simply put

The cruelty.

I was personally subjected to physical abuse by nuns for 6 tender years of my life that shattered my self esteem and left me a nervous wreck. Then there is the stance on Gays, the popes decision to direct people not to protect themselves from STD's, the sexism, the history, Nazis, Crusades, the molestation and the protection of the pervert priests, the money mooching, etc etc.

Cruelty, the "church" is sadistic. Too bad I won't live long enough to see it's destruction.

[slutticus]

97. Hypocrisy, Homophobia, Ignorance

Idiotic views on contraception.

Past atrocities (murder of scientists, heretics, etc...)

I could go on.

I've been a Heretic since 1998 and I haven't looked back.

[greatbubba]

99. Bush his republicans, his satanist drove me away from the church

[UdoKier]

100. I never had anything to do with any church.

Like all other people, I was born an atheist, and was lucky enough to have parents who didn't drill religion into my head.

[Lorien]

101. Never went to a church as a kid

both of my parents were atheists. I've been to one all of three times since becoming an adult, and it seemed truly bizarre. The music was awful (Christian "rock"), and the sermons seemed so hateful, full of fire and brimstone (I went to some baptist Churches with friends). I guess it was because of my secular upbringing, but it just blew my mind to think that so many people in that building really believed in what I had always been taught was a "myth".

Oddly enough, my mother became a RW born again after I left home, though she almost never talks about it with me.

[KnowerOfLogic]

103. All the evil and suffering in the world; no good god would allow it.

I was raised Catholic and had to go to church *every* sunday, plus CCD and holy days until i was 18; but by about the age of 10 or 12 I was an atheist because i realized that either god did not exist, or he was not good and did not deserve to be worshipped.

[DianeG5385]

105. Being raised Catholic leads to rational thought

This is where we Catholics differ from fundamentalists. We constantly question our faith. I questioned and questioned and am actually now agnostic. However, I live by the principles the Catholic Church and my family taught me during the 60's and 70's when the Church was liberal and acted consistent with the teachings of Jesus Christ. This is also the essense of the Democratic party at its best.

My fear for Catholics as for Democrats is that Catholics have taken on a fundamentalist taint primarily driven by the abortion issue and that Democrats want to be faux republicans thinking this is the way to win votes. These trends have been destructive both to the Church and to the Democratic party.

I went to services at many different demominations as a child growing up in Marin County CA, including Lutheran, Methodist and Judaism because my friends and I all attended each others services. There was nothing wrong with that as it gave me a perspective into the differences between the religions but it sure didn't seem to matter to our friendships back in the old days when RELIGION wasn't thrown in your face as a validation of your patriotism!!!

I believe what has happened is that religion has been perveted to serve political purposes and these weird churches with only tangential association with actual Christianity are acting as an arm of the republicans and are not serving the true religious needs of their congregations. I don't think their parishoners get it as it is equally important for them to be part of the social community in fear of isolation if they dare to differ. That's what is our biggest disadvantage as a political party. We don't use fear and intimidation to keep our "troops" in line. I submit we don't need to go that route, we just need to let these poor folks know that there is a better way.

I would love to believe that God exists, and I hope he does. If he does, from my perspective, he does not necessarily want to be worshipped; if he wants to be worshipped I have no use for him. If God lets us arrange our own affairs, we need to live up to his expectations and so far, we haven't.

[magellan]

107. It never took

I was raised Catholic. A lot of the time I was surrounded by priests and nuns, friends of the family. I thought they were wonderful people. I even had a crush on one priest. And my grandma was a true saint if ever there was one! But the God stuff was never anything more to me than an obvious way of teaching good behavior. It occurred to me early on that in my family, those who trumpeted their religion the loudest were the ones who needed its lessons the most.

As I've gotten older, I've seen that pattern repeated again and again.

Now I listen to the hypocrisy coming from loud-mouthed bigots in this country who use Christendom as both shield and weapon. Zealots who feel no need to explain themselves as they judge others. They mock science and peddle ignorance everywhere...using our taxes...but insist that isn't a form of socialism. They think religious freedom is fine and dandy -- as long as it's THEIR religion that gets all the freedom. They want to rewrite the Constitution and inflict their morals on everyone else.

I shudder. Because I know these people are everything they are trying to stamp out in others.

It isn't just radical Muslims who are bad for the world.

I don't begrudge anyone their beliefs or the need to have their faith to hold onto in this crazy world. I do object, strongly, to the language of division and hate that has risen from the Christian Right under bush**'s "born again" auspices. It's a very ugly commercial for Christendom, and has only served to solidify my belief in the inherent danger we face from those who embrace any faith too fervently.