The Revolutionary That Saved Christmas

[Daveparts]

The Revolutionary That Saved Christmas
By David Glenn Cox



We live in a stoic world, we are a cynical people and who can blame us? Living in a plastic artificial existence, a world of special effects of Penn & Teller of David Copperfield and such. Blockbuster movies of wizards and goblins, space aliens and talking mechanical monsters. So then, who can blame us for becoming jaded?

Especially at this time of year with the crass commercialism of Santa, Rudolph and any other damn thing they can come up with to sell electric razors, toothpaste or Antonio Banderas cologne and now even boxes of condensed chicken broth. Just to imagine how this product is manufactured is enough to turn the stomach. But boxes of condensed chicken broth make the point exactly. A fraud, an imitation of a life that we are trying to pretend that we live, the microwaved home cooked meals just like mother used to nuke.

Irradiated meat, non-fat margarine with an ingredient list half of which you couldn’t pronounce let alone spell. A virtual smorgasbord of unfathomable chemistry that we use to replace churned cream because we are watching our waistline.

It would be easy enough to point the finger of blame at capitalism but pundits praise the bounty and shout, “Amen let us shout Amen! Hallelujah praise his name!” But what I want to talk to you about today my dear dear friends about is Jesus! I’m not content to just walk the minefields of politics, yes my dear dear friends lets step into the deep doo doo of religion or the lack there of. But before we do we must prepare ourselves and cleanse ourselves from the heathen religious beliefs that have convinced millions of us that if only we build a grander alter to God then by God its gonna be all right.

Friends! I want the congregation today to open their Bibles and with their Jesus loves you black magic markers pens to begin on the first page. To ask yourselves friends, what would Jesus do? Jesus would start by blacking out everything in the Bible that he didn’t say. Jesus wouldn’t get half way through it before he threw it down as nonsense. Now before you start gassing up them flaming crosses let me explain.

Try and use your stoic side, the side that says less filling not the side that says tastes great! And all you atheist out there in the crowd stop rolling your eyes, for brothers and sisters I was one with you! I walked among you. I have no intention of trying to proselytize I want you to pretend that this is all part of a made up Hollywood movie in a distant galaxy far far away and the parts of R2D2 and CPO3 will be played by flawed mortal humans.

In the Jewish tradition Rabbi’s (teachers/ Jedi’s) spoke in parables. You told them of your troubles and they answered you with another story about someone else in trouble. To make you understand that your situation wasn’t unique and our common troubles connect us in the human existence.

But these people were under the domination and oppressed by the dark empire. Their cities were occupied and their prophecies foretold of a savior who would come with the uncircumcised federation and with light sabers and space fighters to destroy the death star. Just like us in our 21st century boxed chicken broth society they were waiting for a Hollywood savior, a savior their corpulent religious leaders told them that was a coming, now open those checkbooks and show Jesus just how much you love him.

Instead they got a parable, Instead of a savior to destroy the death star they got a revolutionary, a Che Guevera who came with the sword of truth in hand to destroy not the death star but the religious orthodoxy.

So we begin our story with the young Che disappearing in the big city to be found talking with the Religious elders at the temple. The leaders are taken by his knowledge and his wisdom but what does this say as a parable? That he would listen and hear them out but also that these where the things a child would do and accept. The leaders admired his mind and his knowledge only so long as it agreed with their orthodoxy so that when they condemned him it would be known that it for his ideas.

We next find our young revolutionary walking the streets preaching that salvation is not found in the temple. But not only that he was preaching it to non-Jews! Time out; flag on the play that’s not allowed. In the filthy unsanitized biblical world it was considered unpious for a Rabbi to even have contact with these people let alone proselytize to them. Then he goes and recruits them as his chosen and refers to them as brothers! Greek, Samaritans being called brothers in the context of times and local traditions it could be considered nothing less than insanity.

Had he stayed there calling non Jews his brothers he could have been laughed off as a harmless nut. But then he went to the temple and despite all his talk of peace and love he goes all rainbow warrior on them. Sacking the merchants and the gift shop, merchants who where just trying to make sure you had all your religious needs available for your salvation at everyday low low prices. This guy goes nuts on them, perhaps they think, this guy is a red sympathizer with communist beliefs.

So with Carl Rove tactics they seek to trip him up, “Say there Che should we pay our taxes to the Vader?” In one sentence he blew up the death star, “Render unto Vader the things which are Vader’s, and unto God the things that are God’s” and the crowd said, “Oh, shit he’s done done it now!” A separation between church and state? You mean God doesn’t want my shekels and kopecks and denier? That God doesn’t care what corner of this forsaken mud ball I live on?

So then this left leaning hippie with communist sympathies goes out breaking dietary restrictions. “Say there Che you know, you’re not supposed to be eating that right now.” To which our hero replied, “Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.” Gosh that was profound wasn’t it? That’s Bible speak for why don’t you shut up and mind your own business. Clearly heresy and impolite to boot!

It says a lot about our hero it speaks to his character that he had infinite patience for those whom he thought he might could reach but to ideologues in love with religious rules and regulations he says stick it where the pharos can’t reach it. Then when he shows up at the temple, oh what did that scene look like? “Shhh, just ignore him and maybe he will go away.” The he goes to read to them, “Just ignore him give him his five minutes and then he’s out of here.”

So Che goes up on the alter and says, “Wow! What a great room, this place must have cost you a fortune and all you rich folks got the best seats and skyboxes and everything. I mean wow, what a room but have you noticed that there is a whole world out there? A whole world outside of this great gig you got going on in here people suffering and hungry but man what a room! Would you all do me a favor? Just stay in here because this is where you belong this is where your faith belongs inside this pretty little room.

To say they were angry with him is an understatement even the insurance salesman and stockbrokers wouldn’t talk to him. They took his picture down off the new member’s bulletin board and they didn’t even offer him a church bulletin so he could get half off at Denny’s But was our revolutionary smiling when he left the building? I think he was, if not laughing at telling off the stuff shirts the self-righteous.

Then the rich man came to Che and asked, “Dude, this is really cool how can I join you guys?”

Che elbowed John in the ribs and gave Simon Peter a wink and then said unto him, go and talk to Thomas about the paperwork and then go give all your money to poor and then after you’ve done that come on back and we’ll teach you the secret handshake. And they laughed at the rich man all the way down the road to Jerusalem

To lepers and tax collectors and even an adulterous woman at the well he goes not to condemn them but to commune with them. He scoffs at the rich and powerful and when taken before Vader he says you can freeze me into a wall hanging if you like but I’m not backing down to you. Vader then turns him back over to the orthodoxy that are upset at this point because Vader won’t kill him.

Vader explains, “He’s obnoxious all right but he’s not threat to my empire. But Vader they implore, we want him dead and we’ve got to make it look like it was your idea otherwise folks might get the idea that we killed him because he was a threat to our phony baloney jobs.”

“I find no fault in him.”

“Vader we can’t kill him, can’t you just make something up? He did make ugly remarks about your voice box you know.”

“Well all right, just this once but you guys owe me!”

So it was that Che was put to death for preaching the gospel of food for the poor and treatment for the sick. Of brotherhood among all peoples and the equality of all mankind. That it was the rich and those whose piety segregated them from the people they claimed to serve that he would rebuke. That war was the ultimate sin against God not sometimes but every time. That his soldiers were in the service of peace, for he would fight for the poor but he wouldn’t allow his followers even to fight for him.

Rather than a leather bound dogma of orthodoxy just one lonely commandment. Love one another as I have loved you. To understand each other’s sufferings and to be compassionate towards them. To remember whom God loves and who God hates. That despite for the most part this revolutionaries message being cloaked and usurped by the church it is still there for us if you look for it.

If you don’t want to believe that Jesus was the Son of God or not it really doesn’t matter. No matter if Luke blows up Vader, as they are both parables. Jesus called himself the son of man, was he the son of man? Did he stand up against all the powers of the earth in the name of justice for the poor? Was he willing to be beat down and murdered rather than renounce them?

Did he inspire the revolutionaries that followed him? In the parable of his crucifixion Christ walks the street beaten but defiant dragging a heavy cross to his death. Past hundreds of people, some mocking him, some ignoring him but none save one offering to give him a drink and wipe his brow. A parable of truth, Christian, Muslim, Atheist or Jew that you will make few friends trying to change the world. That only by trying to save each other can we save ourselves. That is the message of the revolutionary that saved Christmas.

Not the boxed ready-made chicken broth religious message that we are served up on a daily basis. Of a poor hungry shivering infant living in squalor two thousand years ago but the poor hungry shivering infant living in squalor tonight. But the orthodox rejoice and say I want to be here when Jesus returns to which I say I don’t think you’ve thought that through clearly enough.