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I get it. I defriended a family member, but so did my brother. I have a cousin that had the Confederate flag as his profile pic. I told my mom, 'that weirds the shit outta me and I don't want to have anything to do with anyone having a Confederate flag on their facebook regardless of if they're family.' She got it too. He's never asked me about it, but then I'd just tell him straight up why.
The best thing if your situation if you can't defriend them, is just block them. You'll never see any of their nastiness and they can't send you messages with it either. And if anyone asks you can just say that since what you were saying was considered so offensive you found this the best way to make peace with the family.
Good luck!
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