The way we squabble here--we're like the kids of addict parents

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They feel a responsibility to us, they want to do right by us, they make promises, set goals, inspire hopes, but at the end of the day they're chasing something else, an overwhelming short-term need. At the moment they're chasing that need, everything scales down to the short term, all obligation goes out the window and rationalization is king. Then we come home and stare into an empty refrigerator, or the clean space where the TV used to be, and wonder what the fuck we're supposed to make of this mess.

So what happens after the latest disappointment, broken promise or false hope? New plans, new commitments, new hopes. But for any addict, a plan is fragile, laden with self-imposed obstacles. Yeah, they've got something that goes from A to B to C, but it all falls apart at the slightest setback. They miss the 5:30 down to the mall, and it's not like there are other buses coming at fifteen minute intervals--the plan was the plan, a step was missed, so oh well. Christmas presents aren't going to be there this year. Why not? The bus came early. As if that's the reason.

You can choose to believe that. You can talk up the obstacles to improvement for an addict, as they're real. You can say they're trying, that they're not as bad as some others, that their unique circumstance makes such failures inevitable--you can deny them agency completely. The evidence that they could do no better becomes that they in fact have done no better. You can blame their boss, their neighborhood, their own parents, their friends, anything. You can blame yourself, that you failed to provide them with what they need to be better.

Or you can reject all that. You can call them fucked-up for doing fucked-up things. But the reality is, you need them. They've got the institutional power--shelter, money, transportation, whatever. They are your guardians, with all the responsibility and authority that comes with that. You've got nowhere else to go, no means of acquiring necessities on your own. So call them fucked-up all you want, you still have to live with them for years, even if you eventually get something started on your own. Without them, you aren't getting anything started for the foreseeable future.

Worst yet, that division of opinion can make the kids hate each other. The enablers are going to be pissed off at the ineffectual haters, because they believe the hating makes it harder to live with the addicts, that it makes the addiction worse, makes them harder to live with, meaner, and so on. It also makes it harder to believe in the latest plan, promise, or inspired hope. It makes it harder to forget the last empty fridge or pawned TV set.

What makes it worse in our case is that we willingly became dependents, we invested them with their authority, and we gave up all our political agency to be replaced by a tiny minority of wealth and influence that has our parties hooked through the bag.

That Michelle Bachmann is -way- more fucked up though, so I guess our guys can feel pretty good about themselves. Got anything to eat?