Aiming My Anger

[TygrBright]

I have posted stupid things on Democratic Underground.

I have done it many times.

I have done it under many circumstances.

Sometimes I've posted something stupid because I just couldn't resist making a smart remark when someone else left an opening.

Sometimes because I've been lazy and careless and didn't take the time to think it through before hitting the "Post message" button.

Sometimes because I misunderstood the semantics of what I was responding to.

Sometimes because my own views on the subject weren't well-developed or based on adequate knowledge.

And sometimes because of my anger.

I'm a highly-opinionated person and I'm pretty sure that no one on DU agrees with every view I hold. I'm also positive that there's no one else on DU with whom I agree on every view they hold.

But here's one thing I'm positive about:

I agree with EVERY SINGLE PERSON on DU about SOMETHING.

And, while some of the things I disagree with various DUers on are pretty important to me, and I feel very strongly about them, no one disagreement with a DUer is anything like as important or as strongly-felt as my opposition to the views, words, and actions of hundreds or even thousands of people who are NOT on Democratic Underground. People who have influence and power and who can take direct actions in their professional and personal lives that will do serious damage to my grandson's world.

But sometimes the anxiety I feel, and the anger those people (the ones NOT on DU) provoke, come bubbling to the surface when I'm discussing things with people on DU. People who disagree with me on that important subject. And then, since I can't get at the real perps, the true villains, I let the anger loose on the DUer. The anger has to go somewhere, after all, and in the heat of the moment I'm usually certain that since this particular DUer holds at least one view I disagree with and feel strongly about, they must be JUST AS BAD as the perps who are not on DU and who are out there doing actual damage.

Those DUers who disagree with me on one of hundreds of aspects of public policy and governmental action must be just like the ignorant, destructive filth who put profits before people, who are dedicated to looting public resources for their own personal benefit, who believe that people different than themselves are naturally inferior, hateful, or frightening.

And I forget all about the number of times I may have read a post by this very same person, expressing a view I hold even better than I could do so myself. I forget the number of times I have laughed at one of this person's posts, because they got it SO right. I forget everything except my own anger.

I'm a good writer and I can really write clever and hurtful put-downs when I'm trying. I can do it without violating any obvious rules, pointing out just how stupid and ignorant and silly that person's views are without making it a personal attack.

But of course, when I point out, in a clever and hurtful put-down, just how stupid and ignorant and silly someone's views are, what am I really doing? You know it, I know it, and the person I'm responding to knows it. I'm pointing out just how stupid and ignorant and silly THEY are, because they disagree with me on this one, terribly important thing. Never mind that they're here on DU with me because they agree with me on lots of other things. They disagree with me on this one, critically, overwhelmingly important thing.

It doesn't matter that they spend a good deal of time and effort making the world a better place in many ways, every day. Never mind that they have a wicked funny sense of humor and can skewer GOPpie folly effectively. So what if they are kind, decent human beings. Who cares if they have knowledge and experience I could learn something important from? They disagree with me on this important thing, so they must be a worthless idiot I can go right ahead and hurt in any way possible under the DU rules. And I'm pretty ingenious. I can do that, no matter how carefully Skinner and EarlG and Elad try to structure the rules to prevent me.

Usually, when my anger is aimed at another DUer I manage to pull myself back from the brink of hitting the "Post message" button before I pull the trigger. Sometimes it's enough just to have written it out, and I can delete the lot or just walk away from the computer for awhile.

It's easy to take out my anger at the narcissistic, swindling, illegitimate pond scum who are wrecking my grandson's world on other DUers who disagree with me on important issues. Sometimes it makes me feel better, for all of ninety seconds or so. And after all, it doesn't do MUCH harm to DU, does it? It's just one minor friendly fire incident. One alert, one deleted post, maybe. One other DUer who's had her/his comeuppance from me and now thinks I'm a stone asshole, and who will take it out on me next chance they get. One other DUer whose anger level just got boosted, and who might take it out on the next DUer who disagrees with them on something.

self-righteously,
Bright