Reply #59: we insist on painting the rapist as someone evil, demented, sick.... they aren't (not all)

[seabeyond]

this man and the woman he raped handled it the best way they knew how to handle and i am all for it. three decades later i see no reason to punish the man for the act. sounds like he punished himself plenty and sounds like thru reflection he was able to understand why he committed the act. and thru courage to apologize to the woman, i imagine it did something powerful for her.

if this woman had come out and not accepted apology and demanded punishment, i would be on her side too. and if the man had to be punished, then i would suggest that it was price to pay for doing right by apologizing, regardless of fact he is punished.

i think the bigger issue in this op is the reasons for rape. the kind of men/boys that rape. how our society creates rapists. and how, because a male rapes, it is not that the person is all of evil, or sick, but a guy, the guy next door that has been conditioned to such, and conditions set in such a way, that a normal male can justify a behavior to gain what he wants.

i think this is a much bigger issue that we need to talk about, that we wont.

it is much easier to address the issue as the rapist being abnormal and vilify him and what i think, never have an honest discussion about the issue, regardless of how painful it may be.

ergo

we miss the opportunity to learn and to heal.