Reply #104: I'd still much rather have had the choice about who I loved

[riderinthestorm]

rather than been told by my parents that this was who I was going to have sex with tomorrow night, and then be forever bound to them regardless, for the rest of my life.

Just as many arranged marriages are miserable, as love matches.

Marriage is hard work. Honestly, after 23 years of marriage, I can say that we are still together as much because we are stubborn than anything else. We married for love and I certainly don't classify it as a disease. I met and moved in with my husband within hours of meeting him, and we've been together ever since. Sure there have been highs and lows but that's true of ANY relationship - even platonic ones.

Cultural shame and family disapproval are powerful substitutes for stubborn, and can be the cause for a married couple staying together as anything. Just as many arranged marriages are abusive, hostile, ruined and devastating as love matches make no mistake.

To mythologize arranged marriages is a serious mistake.