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JeffR
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Fri Oct-31-08 06:20 PM Original message |
| *** DUzy Awards for week ending October 31, 2008 *** |
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 Welcome to the downright creepy DUzy Awards, a haunting compendium of scare-spangled amusement from this week on DU.Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD. Happy voting, DU, for those who haven't already voted. Oh, and if you're still undecided, you might want to check out this Obama guy. He seems pretty good. On a thread by 123abawd: RNC paid for a Spray-On Tan for Sarah Palin One of the strangest thing to come out of Wardrobe-gate in the last days is that it now appears that one of the "makeup" artists employed by the RNC on Sarah Palin's behalf was a woman named Tracy Thorp, whose sole specialty is applying spray-on tans. For this, she was only paid $900 plus airfare and expenses... response #9 by Fridays Child: Hey, get off Sarah's case. She's giving that tan to charity, when she's done with it. Okay? On a thread by RedEarth: Cliff Diving: Volvo truck sales plunge 99.7% response #3 by kenny blankenship: Like I always said, we can shift 100% to a celebrity poker & midget-p0rn economy. It's sustainable and we'll do fine. OP by leftist.: Phrases I'm excited about no longer hearing once Obama landslides this election. - Hockey mom - Maverick - Read my lipstick - Joe the plumber - You betcha - Unrepentant terrorist - Small towns - Real America - president bush What did I miss? response #6 by polichick: John McCain, Sarah Palin response #7 by jeme: Warshington, nukular response #10 by nc4bo: I will show you their names. The sounds of his little fists pounding on tabletops, podiums, in plein aire. response #30 by Bicoastal: "What don't we know about him?" As in, we don't know that he isn't the illegitimate grandson of Hitler, so we can probably get away with assuming he might be. Next on FOX! On a thread by Chimichurri: Palin Said to Want to Strike Out on Her Own More response #1 by mitchum: Oh...she's been striking out pretty well response #2 by DS1: Talk about showing up to a gunfight armed with a pretzel :eyes: response #13 by DFW: That's not funny at all A pretzel recently came closer to causing the death of a president by armed attack than any weapon since 1981. If that pretzel had been of a heavier caliber, then Cheney would now have been president. Only the fact that it was wielded by an incompetent assailant permitted Bush to survive the attack, and this is in no way mitigated by the fact that Bush's assailant was himself. response #43 by Cresent City Kid: I can't believe it She wants to talk to the American people without pre-conditions. response #72 by onager: Strike Out? It must be "Palin At The Bat..." The outlook wasn't brilliant for the GOP that day; The polls stood 60-40, with but one week more to play, And then when Georgia turned blue, and Virginia did the same, A sickly silence fell upon the pundits of the game. A straggling few wrote off the GOP in deep despair. The rest Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human (and maybe Repub) chest; (Only Godless Liberals say "breast" in print. This is a family poem.) They thought, if only Palin could get but a whack at that - We'd put up even money, now, with Palin at the bat. But McCain preceded Palin, as did also Coleman, Norm, And the former was a loser and the latter was a worm; So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat, For there seemed but little chance of Palin's getting to the bat. But McCain fell off the stage, then staggered off to bed, And Norm, the much despis-ed, dropped a baby on its head; And when commercials ended, and the nation watched the news, There was Sarah Palin, smirking at the camera crews... And now the first question came hurtling through the air, And Sarah stood a-listening in hi-style grandeur there. "What about your foreign policy?" the anchorwoman read. "That ain't my style," said Palin. "Strike one," the anchor said. From the benches, black with Freepers, there went up a mewling whinge, Almost louder than Rush Limbaugh on an Oxycontin binge, "Kill her! Kill the anchor!" shouted someone on the stand; And it's likely they'd a-killed her had not Palin raised her hand. With phony Fundie charity Palin's Spackled visage shown; She stilled the rising tumult; she bade the show go on; "What about sex education?" the next question flew. But Sarah still ignored it, and the anchor said, "Strike two." "Fraud!" cried the Freepers, and Hannity echoed fraud; But one scornful look from Sarah and the audience was awed. They saw her face grow cracked and cold, they saw her facial muscles twitch, And they knew Sarah was 'bout to put the smackdown on the bitch. (I was just kidding about a family poem.) The spittle flies from Sarah's lips, she's staying on mes-sage; She pounds with cruel violence one brain-cell on the stage. And now the anchor asks about that quarter-mil wardrobe, And now the air is shattered by the force of Palin's blow. Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright; Obama's speaking somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light, And somewhere Biden's laughing, and somewhere children shout; But there is no joy in the GOP— Sarah Palin has struck out. On a poll by Applan: Do you earn $250,000 or more? response #7 by TahitiNut: Well, I've earned it but I've never been paid it. :shrug: response #24 by entanglement: I was about 20 feet away from $250,000 once...but there was a foot thick wall, steel doors and a couple of armed guys in the way. :rofl: OP by Bicoastal: Should Mccain really be tempting fate by campaigning in WATERLOO, IA? Just sayin'... :think: response #4 by Kurt_and_Hunter: Napoleon was a great man, though. Maybe McCain should be campaigning in Flushing. response #7 by TheDoorbellRang: Unable was McCain, ere he got "Elba'ed" That's whatcha call a PALINdrome. :silly: OP by Kurt_and_Hunter: If you want something to be concerned about... Barack Obama has a habit of trotting down the steps from his plane with both hands in his pants pockets. Very Steve McQueen, yes, but a safety "don't" that makes running with scissors look tame by comparison. Airplane stairs are a non-trivial safety hazard. And also a non-trivial campaign video-clip hazard. Just ask Gerry Ford! response #1 by Occam Bandage: Obama: Too risky on the stairwell. Too risky for America. On a thread by cosmicone: Obama wishes 'a joyous Diwali' (to all Indian-Americans) response #2 by last1standing: John McCain responded: "I never drove one of them there Korean cars but I hear they're OK". response #9 by Guy Whitey Corngood: I fucking knew it! He's a closet Hindu. :evilgrin: response #25 by jbane: Obama joined Dunder Mifflin's Kelly Kapoor in Scranton PA at a campaign stop to wish a happy and joyous Diwali to all. Ms Kapoor said that the Illinois Senator and Presidential hopefully was "really hot" and would make an "awesome" president. OP by Jake3463: Petty things the Democrats to do after the Election simply because we can 1) Name an aircraft carrier after Bill Clinton. Want to see Freeper's head explode. The best most modern ship in the US Navy is named after Bill. After that name a Nuclear Submarine after Hillary. Watch their fucking heads explode. 2) Name a hospital ship or a tugboat for John McCain. Name a non-combat ship for McCain. Recognize his service but the fact that it is a non-combat ship will be a giant slap in the face. 3) Introduce a resolution to change the $10 bill to have Roosevelt instead of Hamilton. Those fuckers in the GOP have been trying to but Reagan on the 10 since he left office. Lets combat that with Roosevelt but leave Hamilton on there because despite his moral and personal failings he was a Patriot and deserves to be there. 4) Start naming Airports after Democrats. Bill Clinton International Airport in Philadelphia would be a good and piss the Repukes off to start. 5) Send Senator Franken to all the RW radio pundits for an interview. Don't answer a question till they address him by his Title. response #2 by dbt: Put Ray Charles On The $10 Bill! Just because it's the right thing to do. :smoke: response #4 by Jake3463: and Johnny Cash on the $20 :-) response #27 by DBoon: "I'll pay for that with Cash, sir" response #41 by quakerboy: Give DC voting congress people or even make it a state, with senators. That would explode a few heads. Can you say "the Patrick J. Buchanan Immigration act" Can you say "the Albert A. Gore Veterans Hospital" Can you say "the Ronald W. Reagan Civil Rights Marriage Bill" Can you say "the George W Bush Anti-profiteering act". Applied retroactively. And definitely put Roosevelt on a few things. I think the $10 would be a very good start. Get Repubs to agree by promising to put Reagan on some money. Then put Reagan on a new 2 cent piece. A very bulky and unwieldy 2 cent piece. response #62 by MrsGrumpy: The "Howard Dean Expressway to all 50 States". :hi: OP by Orrex: OMFG: US Mint To Issue Sarah Palin Commemorative Coin It can't be used to make change, and it has no value whatsover. :evilgrin: response #10 by scarletwoman: What will they call it? The "Loony" is already taken. (nt) response #14 by volstork: How about "The Asshat" as in, "That pair of moose-skin pumps will cost you 650 Asshats, ma'am." OP by ck4829: Imaginary Black Man strikes again! Be on the lookout for this guy! Date of Birth: Doesn't matter, he's BLACK Place of Birth: Doesn't matter, he's BLACK Height: 9 feet tall, and BLACK Weight: He's BLACK Hair: BLACK Eyes: Brown Sex: Male Race: BLACK Wanted for: Abduction and murders of Michael Daniel and Alexander Tyler Smith Murder of Carol Stuart and attacking her husband, Charles Stuart Robbery and attacking Ashley Todd And many other crimes His accusers are believed to be armed, dangerous, and are strong supporters of racism (Whoops, slip of reality there for a second). response #10 by krispos42: And the Lindbergh baby That's a big one! The telegraph keys were really clicking on that one, I'll tell you what... On a thread by Are_grits_groceries: Tell those fools to take it down. "A Halloween decoration showing a mannequin dressed as vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin hanging by a noose from the roof of a West Hollywood home is drawing giggles from some passers-by and gasps of outrage from others. The mannequin is dressed in brunet wig, glasses and a red business suit. Another mannequin dressed as John McCain emerges from a flaming chimney..." response #7 by arcadian: That doesn't look like Sarah Palin, it's a faceless, pale, mannequin. Oh wait... OP by MrCoffee: I may have committed a teensy bit of electoral fraud My 4 year old REALLY wanted to vote for Obama, so I let her bubble in my ballot before I mailed it out. I'm going to be breaking rocks for a long, long time. response #1 by cliffordu: Ugh....I feel so..... disenfranchised..... response #5 by MrCoffee: If it makes you feel any better, she came *this* close to voting Socialist Worker's Party response #10 by arcadian: Does she have a brother named Chad? I don't even know what that means, but it sounded good. :rofl: OP by ck4829: The Republican Dictionary - Election Edition C Congressional Liberals - The new scapegoats to blame instead of putting where it belongs, 8 years of Bush, and 6 years of Republican control of Congress E Endorsement - Obama receives these from fellow black people because of his race, people such as Colin Powell, Oprah Winfrey, Scott McClellan, etc. L Let's raise nobody's taxes - Except your taxes to pay for McCain's health care "plan" Liberal Media - That thing that gives free air time for McCain ads M Maverick - Just focus on the 10% where McCain opposed Bush, not the 90% where he supported him without question P Poll - Something that's biased for Obama, unless it shows a close race or McCain winning, then it's cool T Terrorist - Bill Ayers, but not G. Gordon Liddy Terrorist Fist Jab - Republican desperation V Voter Fraud - 1. When there are more Democrats than Republicans. 2. When Democrats have some other advantage response #1 by Ilsa: Two more: F Flag - Emblem of states and nation; Will use to decry lack of patriotism when not wearing one on lapel; will accuse opposition of plans for changing. H Hussein - Opposition's middle name, for which we will make him responsible. response #3 by dorkulon: I'll play A ACORN - A Satanic criminal agency intent on subverting heterosexual Christian values. Arabs - Radical Islamofascists who by definition are not decent or family oriented. B Barney Frank - Evil homosexual who is single-handedly responsible for the housing collapse. E Elitist - A person who makes you feel stupid. H Hockey Mom - White woman with children. See Soccer Mom. P Plumber - A bald white man who makes at least a quarter of a million dollars annually, and symbolizes the struggle of the average worker against progressive taxation. R Real American - A person who makes you feel smart. S Socialism - An evil atheist conspiracy to improve your standard of living, at the expense of innocent billionaires. T Treason - Any criticism of the President, when that President is a Republican. response #4 by StopThePendulum: A couple more M -------- Muslim: African-American Democrat, regardless of actual religion U -------- Unlawful voter: Registered Democrat, especially one who is of a racial or ethnic minority, a college student, a senior citizen, a disabled person, or a newly registered voter. OP by SOteric: Ted Stevens Poetry Thread Use this opportunity to mock Ted Stevens in verse. Haiku, senryu, limericks, sonnets and odes...everything's fair game. Mine: Pardon, I disrupt This festival of cat threads: Stevens found 'Corrupt.' response #5 by Shell Beau: Liar liar pants on fire That's all I got! :shrug: response #8 by Parche: Roses Are Red Violets are blue Ted Stevens Sux :woohoo: :hi: CaliforniaPeggy would be proud of me!!! response #13 by mokawanis: A man from Alaska There once was a man from Alaska who committed a crime without spending a dime can we send him to prison I ask ya response #21 by jpgray: A villanelle Get to your cell, and stay the fuck away. Comb-overs were not meant for Senate squalls; you'll watch your betters claim your seat this day. When shanks smoke hot with arterial spray don't take offense, or--even worse--roll calls. Get to your cell, and stay the fuck away. Should soap slip out of hand, then let it stay. Don't search the lather gathered where it falls-- you'll watch your betters claim your seat this day. You see those bars? The state employs a grey series of tubes, so neither bribes nor molls get to your cell, and stay the fuck away. A politics of sorts remains in play; the weak all stand to eat and hug the walls. You'll watch your betters claim your seat this day. Upon your death--nature must have its way-- expect no cloudy throne in Heaven's halls. Get to your cell, and stay the fuck away, you'll watch your betters claim your seat this day. response #22 by Dangerously Amused: okay okay, mine... Oh Senator Ted, The bridge is not dead. But guess where it led? To your prison bed! response #26 by whoisalhedges: "Sailing to Juneau" -- all apologies to W. B. Yeats That is no state for old men. The young Hunting moose together, polar bears and political sleaze - Those frozen generations - at their song, The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas (that part was too easy!), Drill, baby, drill, daylight all summer long Whatever is given, gifted, and grifted. Caught in that sensual music all ignore Monuments of an aged senate whore. And aged man is but a greedy thing, An empty oath upon a Bible, unless New hot tub bubble up and steam, and hotter steam For every crook in Congress, Nor is there any milk but cream Monuments of its own swinishness; And therefore I have wrecked ashore At the rugged burg of Juneau. O jury standing in the Midnight Sun As in a ludicrous chainsawed ice sculpture, Come from the Midnight Sun, free stuff is fun! And be the right-wing of the Capitol tour. Take my taxes away; give me a gun Pointed at a dying animal It knows not WTF; and enter in The gate of a supermax prison. Once out of Congress you shall never take A gift from another contractor, But such a prize as pruno or a shiv made from a rake Will get you the rest that you implore Of those who would keep an elderly ex-Senator awake; Or wait at your free-built mansion's door For hockey moms to take you up to Washington Upon their non-existent coattails drug through the scum. response #41 by ocelot: A Sonnet For Ted: The frozen North gave birth to nasty Ted An old and grizzled grifter whose device Was bribery, sleaze and sliminess, they said; The jury has decided he's not nice. Oh, no! The Senator has been convicted! He's guilty sevenfold, the jury found. And now with prison he shall be afflicted. Can you hear that distant whining sound? Ted's tubes are echoing with mortal fear! The Lady of the Caribou says naught. But Justice bit him fiercely in the rear; And Sarah knows the mean old turd was bought. Let's recognize that old Ted Stevens smells, And name the airport after someone else. response #44 by vixengrl: Ted, thy foetid graftings are to me like the fungus growing on a long-dead tree. Where long years of service have their pride of place, you've swapped your honor for a huge disgrace, and the stain upon your long career, would cause few but the fooled to shed a tear. What comes of your favors? What slough of greed Compels one to take such gifts, what desperate need to be gifted, and with favors fraught for favor given? Ah--but you have come to naught. But "naught" your sentence will not be-- Five years each count--or call for clemency for age and let disgrace its own sentence make and only retirement and humiliation you will take with you down through your final days, with remembrance of power a pitiful haze. (My apologies to the Vogons, whose style I've cribbed extensively.) response #45 by PeaceNikki: A Haiku Seven indictments Senator from Alaska Meet series of cubes response #46 by SalmonChantedEvening: Limerick There once was a man named Ted Stevens Whose finance reports were uneven He's just been convicted Soon he'll be evicted And nobody's sad that he's leaving response #48 by asthmaticeog: ... This winter, a dick will learn that prison bars are a series of tubes response #50 by XNASA: Salmon, Salmon, Eskimo Salmon, salmon, Eskimo Polar bear eats totem pole. Into the wild iditarod Senator Stevens can suck a cod. :shrug: The Lounge, October 27, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8193836 On a thread by TheCoxwain: Palin to Deliver Policy Speech on Energy -- Yeah Right !!!! response #1 by DeepBlueDem: "Rubbing two sticks together will help us into Energy Independence"-Sarah Palin response #5 by DefenseLawyer: 6 Hour Energy vs. Red Bull Palin will finally give us the definitive answer! response #8 by RollWithIt: I HAVE PART OF THE TEXT HERE!!! Now, when the fundamentals of the Winter are chilly enough, we use trucks to send big huge drill bits up north. I think you may have seen the trucks on A&E once or twice. When the big drill bits get there we dig and let me tell ya, when they hit something it's so exciting we hear about it like two weeks later. Then we have lots of energy and everyone gets a check! response #10 by vanderRock: FYI Palin: "Drill, baby, drill" isn't a speech. On a thread by Borgnine: Just got back from Obama rally in Harrisonburg, VA... and something miraculous. ... A man, roughly in his mid-30's, entered and sat down. I noticed immediately that he was wearing a McCain/Palin sticker on his sweater. I initially thought he was being facetious, but his body language was speaking volumes. He was a McCain supporter who had been dragged to the event by his wife... He was a captive audience, so, for what I imagine was the first time, he listened to Obama had to say, and a gradual change of demeanor occurred. By the time Obama came to his tax plan and how it differs from McCain, the man seemed genuinely impressed. It was at this moment when he finally started to applaud. By the rally's end, when the entire building erupted in cheers, he humbly turned to his wife, smirked, and tore off the McCain sticker. I had just witnessed the conversion of a McCain voter to an Obama voter... and it was accomplished in less than hour. I didn't think such a thing was possible... response #52 by grantcart: Do you think that he got some nooky tonight? Now how many guys on this thread are thinking damn I should have done that -- pretended I was still holding out for some reason had my wife drag me to the rally and then reap the rewards for a week. Either that guy changed his mind or he is a genius and he is going to have seven nights of playing "naughty precinct worker" and the "campaign manager" lol. OP by H2O Man: Fox News' October Surprise (FOX NEWS) Oct. 29: Fox News sources have confirmed from unreliable sources that the Palin-McCain campaign has secured two potentially devastating film clips, which will be revealed tonight in a Fox Exclusive response to the Obama-Biden propaganda half-hour. Palin-McCain campaign spokesperson Scooter Libby confirms the film clips were recently secured from deceased officials from the Niger Embassy in Italy. "These film clips will show that both Barack Obama and Joseph Biden have, despite their denials, been caught on tape, in meetings with some of the most notorious and dangerous people in the world," Libby told Sean Hannity. "I made repeated calls to NBC and CNN officials, asking that they show these films. They refuse. I swear, it’s a good thing that the American public has Fox News in a situation like this." The first film clip purportedly shows Senator Brack Obama shaking hands with US President George W. Bush in 2006. "By this time," Libby told Fox, "all of the civilized world recognized Bush as a vicious thug who had invaded a foreign country based upon lies. Yet Obama met with Bush. He has some explaining to do." The second clip, which appears to be less than a month old, shows Senator Joseph Biden on stage with a Tina Fey look-alike. This woman is believed to be a covert leader in a radical smoking cessation group in Alaska. "She is evidently on a first-name basis with Biden, despite his claim that this was the first time he met her. This could hurt the democratic ticket with tobacco growers," Libby noted. Sean Hannity will host this in-depth :30 second documentary tonight on Fox News. More at: http://www.foxnews.com/ On a poll by Husb2Sparkly: McCain looks ........... response #3 by IanDB1: McCain looks like a testicle dipped in egg yolk and rolled around on the barbershop floor. n/t OP by Ghost in the Machine: Prepare & protect yourselves on election night and the following morning The first thing you should do is, if possible, park your vehicles in a garage or other enclosed area. If this option is unavailable, you should use a car cover or some plastic sheeting. This will protect your vehicles from exploding freeper brain matter when Obama wins. If you or a family member must be outside, I would suggest wearing a plastic poncho, or rain suit, to protect your clothing from the exploding brain matter. A face shield would be advisable, too. Also, remember to be very careful & observant when approaching overpasses and/or tall buildings as freepers will be jumping off of them everywhere. They will be a danger to motorists *and* pedestrians. Peace, Ghost response #3 by lazyriver: This is a common fallacy. There is no need to panic and don ponchos. Sure freeper heads will be exploding, but all that stuff about brain matter...not so much. It will be more like a dry empty popping sound like when you burst a paper bag. I will be careful driving around bridges and tall buildings though. It would be a shame to get my car dented. response #8 by librechik: Avoid airports, and tall buildings where helicopters can rescue survivors because of the rush to flee the country as Obama prepares to put on his turban and give orders to kill anyone not wearing one. response #39 by cliffordu: Specially protect your eyes, tooth shrapnel from gnashing can put your eyes out faster than running with scissors... response #44 by Hubert Flottz: If a Freeper's "freeper brain matter" Was gasoline, it wouldn't be enough to propel a piss-ant's motorcycle around a BB. On a thread by ccharles000: AK-Sen: Don Young "Endorses" Stevens "'I can remember Richard Nixon, you know, his years of service, what he's done, and everybody ridiculing him, and he ended up being the greatest president in the history of our century. ... The Senator will be re-elected. He will appeal it. When he does go, he will win it because there's no way this is a jury of his peers,' Young told the Anchorage Daily News..." response #1 by prodn2000: *****BREAKING HARD - Bonnie endorses Clyde Developing... OP by rug: By 8:30 I'm either buying a Shamwow or donating $19.95 to Obama. On a thread by bulloney: Palin continues her 'Drill baby drill' chant--at a SOLAR PANEL FACTORY!!! response #19 by jfkraus: The Stupid is strong with this one. response #25 by carnie_sf: Number than a pounded thumb as we used to say in Maine. response #29 by Willo: Sarah Palin is soooo dumb. "How dumb is she?" She gave a speech at a Solar Panel factory and chanted "Drill, baby, drill" Come on now...it should not be that easy. Seriously! On a thread by ejbr: I just went OFF in a Starbucks ... this asshole flirting with some woman near me sent me over the top. First, he approaches and begins talking about innocuous things. Fine. Then, he asks her about the election. She demonstrates awe at its ferocity. Again, innocuous. He then proceeds to state that both candidates are awful. I flinch, but accept his point of view that the candidates don't speak to him. However, he then begins this diatribe about how Obama supporters are more or less braindead and are being fooled by Obama's hypnotizing speech. I could have taken the high road and asking him not to talk politics as it is a touchy subject for me (after 8 years of Bush, come on..) or point out that figures such as Colin Powell, Donald Trump and the Eisenhower girl are supporting Obama. Nope! Instead, I turn around and yell "Get the fuck away from me!"... response #13 by in search of sanity: I hope you got decaf OP by sixmile: Help name Sam J. Wurzelbacher's new country band Here's a few: Joe and the Morans The Bedwetters MENSA The Talking Points Butt sweat and Tears I could do this all night. response #1 by Taverner: Almost Plumbers response #2 by muntrv: The Crappers. American Substandard. response #7 by smokey nj: The Ball Cocks response #10 by Cerridwen: Political Tool and the Plungers n/t response #11 by Uben: Cheaper Trick response #24 by tridim: 16 minutes. response #28 by Lint Head: Ben Dover and the Butt Cracks response #30 by sixmile: The Dingleberries The Handy Warhols The Plops Chlamydia response #32 by DisgustipatedinCA: Pre and the Varicators? Plumbers Little Helpers Shadrack and the Asscracks Blow the Hummer Joe (definitely not) The Strummer Pipsqueak on a Pig response #39 by Oddly Stevenson: Country Joe and the Flush response #42 by RainDog: the Scabs response #59 by Hubert Flottz: Hack Jr. and the Honeydippers The Rid-X Review Ragtime Joey and the KKKotex Sarah-Naders The Fabolus Flappervalves King Doo-Doo and the Royal Flush response #64 by SalmonChantedEvening: Sam the Scam and the T-Bowls :D response #68 by hay rick: Didn't Quite Make It and the Pantloads response #89 by salguine: 10,000 Flushes response #99 by Generic Brad: The Dixie Pricks response #128 by EOO: The Morans Of Invention response #131 by Ezlivin: The Flush Puppies response #134 by auburngrad82: Plumbing the Depths Featuring their big hits "I'm Sarah's Boy Toy" and "Congratulations, Joe. You're Rich!" response #141 by ginbarn: DENSA n/t response #154 by Progs Rock: Let Them Eat Urinal Cake response #163 by WritersBlock: The Keating Five. n/t response #171 by Contrary1: Drano Joe and the Hair Clogs n/t response #186 by BigAnth: Crapadelic response #190 by hatrack: Wurzelbach, Fake & Lamer Pink 'Roid The Fartridge Family Joe Wurzelbacher & the Pee Street Band response #230 by myrna minx: Compound W. GD, October 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4334038 OP by swampg8r: didnt under the bus jump the shark? and i heard later that jumping the shark was over the hill who spilled the beans and let the cat out of the bag? response #2 by antifaschits: only when pigs fly to the lipstick counter response #7 by Buzz Clik: somebody talk me down... response #8 by sfexpat2000: This thread is off the table. response #13 by MathGuy: I avoid cliches like these like the plague response #25 by TheKentuckian: Lets bring back a classic and put McGollum's campaign in the "lockbox" and "throw away the key". response #26 by smalll: "Under the bus" jumped the shark on Day One - now it's just time to close the deal on it. /nt Poll question by zulchzulu: What qualities might make you get kicked out of a McCain/Palin rally before it happens? People are getting kicked out of McCain/Palin rallies for doing nothing except perhaps looking suspicious. What are the "security people" looking for? :bluebox: You don't look stupid as a bag of puppy shit :bluebox: You have all your teeth :bluebox: You appear to have graduated from high school :bluebox: You aren't yelling USA! USA! USA! while standing in line :bluebox: You actually might have longer hair and aren't very overweight :bluebox: You aren't ugly :bluebox: You may have an air of having an IQ higher than 60 :bluebox: You don't have an angry, snearing glare in your eyes :bluebox: All the above :bluebox: Other GDP, October 30, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7669314 On a thread by sabra: "First Dude" Palin: “Snowmobilers will have a strong voice in the White House" "Astride a flying snowmobile, Alaska’s 'first dude,' Todd Palin, makes an appeal to voters who worry about restrictions on riding the beasts — called 'snow machines' by serious riders — in a mailer distributed by a state Republican Party. 'Could this be the last winter to ride in our national parks?' asks the flyer featuring the four-time winner of Alaska’s grueling Iron Dog Snowmobile Championship. The flyer, which landed in the mailboxes of Maine voters this week, sets 'Obama’s extreme environmental policies' against John McCain and Sarah Palin’s 'practical standards' of environmental protection. 'Snowmobilers will have a strong voice in the White House,' it promises..." response #1 by Bicoastal: Snowmygod... :wow: response #4 by kagehime: damn...i knew we were missing a key voting bloc OP by myrna minx: "Failing Upward" William Kristol is a moron. Discuss. n/t response #14 by Occam Bandage: He's not a moron. Any moron could manage to get about half of their binary predictions right by chance. Kristol is perhaps alone among humanity at large as some sort of reverse savant, in which he has the preternatural ability to fail utterly at any mental activity, no matter how low- or high-ordered. The man could try to order a Big Mac at McDonalds, and, after spending fifteen minutes pompously bloviating at the cashier, happily walk out with fourteen Apple Pies and a Chicken Nugget Happy Meal. Though, to his credit, I'm sure that around the sixth pie he'd start to wonder why they forgot the onions. On a thread by Help_I_Live_In_Idaho: What do you do when you drop an anvil on your foot response #1 by OPERATIONMINDCRIME: First, I Ask Myself Why The Fuck Am I Carrying An Anvil. On a thread by Winterblues: I loved the way they showed Obama's logo in the 30 minute Ad As a New Sun Rising.. That was a great shot... response #2 by Huskerchub: Oh NO! Not a rising sun...now the Freptards are going to start calling Obama a Kamikaze Jap Terrorist! :scared: On a thread by sabra: Joe ("the non Plumber") a No-Show in Ohio (ditches McCain @ rally) "Sen. John McCain, running through Ohio on a daylong bus tour, introduced Joe the Plumber at his first stop of the morning at an outdoor rally in this tiny town not far from where Joe Wurzelbacher confronted Sen. Barack Obama about his tax plan. 'Joe's with us today. Joe, where are you? Where is Joe? Is Joe here with us today?' The problem? Joe wasn't here. McCain aides scrambled; one ran past reporters in one direction, then back in the other, talking frantically into her portable radio. Reporters streamed up to other aides asking if the world's most famous plumber was indeed here. 'Joe, I thought you were here today,' McCain said as the crowd murmured. After half a minute of silence, as everyone in the crowd scanned for Joe, McCain tried to make the best of it. 'All right, well, you're all Joe the Plumber so all of you stand up and say -- I thank you,' he said as the crowd applauded..." response #34 by armed_and_liberal: Has any plumber ever shown up when he said he would? response #40 by frylock: ich bin ein joe the plumber :rofl: On a thread by apnu: Question: Who is McCain's top campaign strategist? response #3 by Clio the Leo: Why are you presuming that he has one? :-) NT response #10 by TheKentuckian: A big hat with random policies, tactics, and strategies in it He just wakes up and draws stuff out and runs with it. response #11 by FVZA_Colonel: A chimpanzee with a heroin addiction. response #25 by Deep13: Dr. Kevorkian. nt GDP, October 30, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7676683 OP by Occam Bandage: I absolutely can't stand Rachel Maddow. I find her voice irritating, her manner frustrating, her topics enraging, her worry debasing, her hair condescending, and her oeuvre befouling. I believe that she is single-handedly destroying my enjoyment of television, Obama's chances of victory, and the very foundations of American democracy, liberalism in general, and in fact all manner of post-Enlightenment thought. She is a pox, a pustule, and a piss-drinker of the lowest order. I hate everything about her. Why, I hate her so much, I find myself utterly and completely compelled to tune in every single night, watch her with rapt attention, and then fire up DU and comment on every single utterance that escapes her lips. No, though it kills me, I shall not miss a minute of her show, for doing so would rob me of that which I treasure above all else in this life: the opportunity to explain, in excruciating detail, exactly what I do not like about her. I do not care how many OPs I must make, how many identical threads I must participate in, nor how many hours of my life I must spend maintaining my sacred vigil. For this--this, and this alone--is my true calling. God bless America, and God bless we dedicated, Maddow-fearing few. Poll question by EmperorHasNoClothes: When John Boehner cries on election night, will his mascara run? :bluebox: Yes. GDP, October 31, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7677929 On a thread by maddezmom: Growing Doubts on Palin Take a Toll, Poll Finds "... in a possible indication that the choice of Ms. Palin has hurt Mr. McCain’s image, voters said they had much more confidence in Mr. Obama to pick qualified people for his administration than they did in Mr. McCain..." response #1 by olddad56: Good point, if McCain chose Palin as his running mate, who might he pick for his cabinet? response #3 by IMModerate: Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Doofy, Poopy,... response #6 by wryter2000: Winken, Blinken, and Nod Frick and Frack Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe response #7 by IMModerate: Dasher, Dancer... OP by Bleachers7: BREAKING: WAPO: Obama had lunch in 2003 with Ahmadinejad and Raul Castro at Castro's Cuba home BREAKING HARD!!!! The October Surprise is here. :wow: UPDATE: Chavez was there too. His kids played with Obama's. My lord. This scandal is deep! UPDATE 2: They held a conference call with Kim Jong Il. :nuke: UPDATE 3: PA Democrat just searched the internets and found out that they ate wursts. "Potluck dinners are socialism at its wurst!" That's right. They had sausages. GERMAN SAUSAGES! response #1 by chimpsrsmarter: me too, it was a potluck and i still haven't gotten back my tupperware! response #8 by redwitch: I lost my favorite casserole dish. Fucking Ahmadinnerjacket! :mad: response #29 by chimpsrsmarter: i'm sure they put my tupperware in the bottom of the dishwasher so it's ruined oh i've called, hey can i get my tupperware back, and of course it's always like "Oh yeah, listen i'll run it by next week". response #44 by tanyev: Castro probably redistributed it to someone else. Bastaaaaard! response #11 by PA Democrat: Potluck dinners are socialism at its worst! I brought a pot roast and all my neighbor brought was a jello salad! On a thread by sabra: Palin Fears Media Threaten Her First Amendment Rights "In a conservative radio interview that aired in Washington, D.C. Friday morning, Republican vice presidential nominee Gov. Sarah Palin said she fears her First Amendment rights may be threatened by 'attacks' from reporters who suggest she is engaging in a negative campaign against Barack Obama. However she feels about the way her story has been told in the press, Palin told WMAL she is not discouraged. 'It's sort of perplexing to me, because I'm a practical person and plainspoken also, but just cutting to the chase and calling things like I see them, just like most Americans. But this has not left a bitter taste in my mouth, the bitter shots taken by the mainstream media and by some of the elitism there in Washington,' Palin said..." response #5 by mikeytherat: "It's sort of perplexing to me,..." Yes, Sarah. Most things are. "But this has not left a bitter taste in my mouth, the bitter shots taken by the mainstream media and by some of the elitism there in Washington," Palin said. The shots that have left a bitter taste in her mouth? :evilgrin: Must. Not. Go. There. Must. Not. Go. There. Poll question by Kurovski: Oh Boy, Oh Boy! In Four More Days I Get to be a Communist! Through the brilliant and triumphant Socialist voting arm known as ACORN, (Acquiring Comrade Obama's Required Numbers) 25 million symbols of corrupt decadence named Mickey Mouse will bring down our elitist enslavers with bravely defiant and glorious votes this November 4! In the name of freedom and humanity all must arise! My brothers and sisters, with the many levels of shared greatness soon to be ours, please tell us that which is most important to you and our beloved state. (But please also refrain from banging your shoe on the table.) Agent Mike has FAILED! He is but a thin onion broth to our mighty, buttery gruel! :bluebox: A new tractor for the neighborhood. Lawns turned to wheat fields for communal bulgur production. :bluebox: Increased Godlessness. :bluebox: Comrade Richard Cheney waits in line for health care just like the rest of us. :bluebox: An end to bourgeois decadence. Gentleman's clubs shut down, ending oppressive exploitation. Pole dancers serve the state by scrubbing train station restrooms. :bluebox: Our great United Socialist Republic's favorite baby names will be Boris and Natasha. Rampant reproduction for the glory of the state! :bluebox: Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, The McCains and the entire Bush family share one house just like those people in Doctor Zhivago. Dennis Miller in charge of seventeen chamber pots. :bluebox: Borscht and black bread served at nationalised MarxDonald's. The crushing of Happy Meals. The execution of Ronald. Hamburglar recants! :bluebox: Heavy Metal balalaika bands. :bluebox: Sarah Palin already pre-condemned to New Siberia. Her campaign wardrobe is used to dress scarecrows in collectivist fields of rye. :bluebox: The fact that Comrade Kurovski is too smart and too handsome will become officially irrelevant. GD, October 31, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4345595 More nyuks here: On a thread by RainDog: Fundies pray, lay hands on Wall Street Bull Neat new Freeperism: On a thread by colonel odis: nobody butchers the language like a freeper: And a repost from 236.com, with a splendid graphic: OP by n2doc: Ashley Todd teaches the press a lesson  OP by thereismore: My son does Obama v McCraps debate impression for the Last Teen Comic contest  OP by paparush: You Knew It Was Coming - The Ashley Todd Photoshop Collection (pics) response #2 by jhuth response #22 by Solly Mack response #27 by Generic Brad response #31 by Mother Of Four response #34 by DubyasWorld response #48 by paparush response #45 by gbrooks response #49 by rosesaylavee response #50 by five_horizons response #53 by Drunken Irishman GDP, October 24, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7595542 OP by radfringe: RADICAL FRINGE TOON Sat 10/25 response #8 by Hubert Flottz GD, October 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4308283 On a thread by deek: Bad AFP photoshop?? response #6 by Billy Burnett response #7 by charlie response #15 by melody GD, October 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4309018 On a thread by Kadie: Caption * (filling out his ballot for the 2008 presidential election) response #1 by BrklynLiberal response #6 by salguine response #10 by BrklynLiberal response #2 by Bicoastal response #5 by Cerridwen response #7 by Cresent City Kid response #8 by flvegan response #12 by Lastlaughin08 response #15 by charlie GD, October 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4309262 On a thread by Botany: Obama is ready from day one (pix) response #4 by Orsino GDP, October 25, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7604751 On a thread by babylonsister: Palinex: A New Morning After Pill response #1 by Historic NY And catch the vid if you haven't seen it yet! Political Videos, October 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=385x225985 On a thread by Pacifist Patriot: Absolutely my all time favorite pumpkin carving. response #4 by Goat or Panic GDP, October 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7615973 OP by Mira: Thanks DUer Proud2Blib - you let me use your idea. Picture of my Halloween yard installation GD, October 26, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4313132 OP by Oeditpus Rex: Ashley Todd's attacker strikes again — this time at a NASCAR race The Lounge, October 27, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8192424 OP by mhatrw: The Great Pumpkin response #6 by mhatrw GD, October 27, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4316490 On a thread by Kadie: Caption John the * response #1 by tridim response #8 by dorkulon response #14 by Ichingcarpenter response #15 by Swamp Rat GD, October 27, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4318691 On a thread by cat_girl25: Somebody's pissed!!! response #4 by seemslikeadream response #8 by TahitiNut response #10 by InternalDialogue response #14 by Gruenemann response #15 by tmfun response #16 by youthere response #19 by hootinholler GD, October 28, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4324786 OP by bob_weaver: Post a picture of the clothes you would buy for Sarah Palin response #2 by NYC_SKP response #3 by SheWhoMustBeObeyed response #24 by Clio the Leo response #5 by JenniferJuniper response #7 by PAVet4Murtha response #11 by Swamp Rat response #14 by TahitiNut response #16 by Kaleko response #17 by ThePhilosopher04 response #32 by Hepburn response #50 by JTFrog response #46 by Mortos response #61 by JFN1 GDP, October 28, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7633701 OP by proud2Blib: Anyone know how to alert the spelling police? response #2 by ColbertWatcher response #66 by proud2Blib response #102 by central scrutinizer response #11 by Ikonoklast response #25 by bridgit response #104 by Cerridwen GD, October 28, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4327234 On a thread by helderheid: TOONS! Come an GETUM! response #6 by Swamp Rat GDP, October 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7662173 On a thread by Poll_Blind: Sarah Palin now OFFICIALLY losing her goddamned mind and sinking McCain's campaign! response #20 by PetrusMonsFormicarum response #42 by RainDog response #46 by Swamp Rat GD, October 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4333267 On a thread by sixmile: Help name Sam J. Wurzelbacher's new country band response #73 by Swamp Rat response #97 by Blue For You response #136 by Greyskye GD, October 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4334038 On a thread by apnu: Question: Who is McCain's top campaign strategist? response #14 by Swede response #18 by jberryhill response #24 by DemocratSinceBirth GDP, October 30, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7676683 On a thread by lunatica: Some photos of what Obama sees in his rallies response #5 by jpertello response #10 by malaise GD, October 30, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4340278 On a thread by ozymandius: STOCK MARKET WATCH, Friday October 31 response #31 by TalkingDog LBN, October 31, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3575630 OP by DainBramaged: This picture says it all...... GDP, October 31, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7677993 |
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