John McCain's account of the hostage rescue--in his own words! (satire)

[ColbertWatcher]

(Excerpt)

With the jet fueled up and ready to go, I gathered a team of special forces to accompany me on what I was sure to be a monumental mission to rescue captives or some other brand of travesty.

Unfamiliar with the new-fangled jet, I ditched it in the canopy and single-handedly removed the surviving members of my party from the burning wreckage.

"Get the fuck out of the burning plane," I encouraged the few trapped inside.

But, my words fell on deaf ears, very much the same way the Viet Cong's billyclubs fell on mine.

"You fucking disappoint me," I screamed above their complaints.

I lead my team away from the deserters to separate us from their choice for failure. We wouldn't look back; only forward.

I decided to wait a few hours, not because I was tired, but to use the cover of darkness to better aid the mission. My weary compatriot, Joe, could only sit and cry himself to sleep.

I built a 2-room hut and the two of us waited.

I couldn't sleep.


--Truthiness Encyclopedia