Reply #25: Can you talk to your boss?

[blogslut]

You said "pretty much" fired you. Is there a chance that you can work it out and maybe keep your job?

As for your meds, I know that finding the right one takes a long time. Sometimes years. Each body reacts differently. Prozac was too strong and made me too excitable to sleep. Paxil did as well but then I started taking it in the morning instead of at night. Sometimes the best adviser for medication is not your doctor but instead, the pharmacist. They can't prescribe but they most certainly are qualified to give you advice about ways to deal with your meds.

Another thing I found with seratonin uptake inhibitors, they remove the feeling of guilt. This is good when one is clinically depressed but not so great when one has passes the powerless/helpless stage. I went off my meds many times because I simply felt I did not "need" them. That was a mistake and I paid for it with a few replapses.

I am sorry you have to pay so much for your counseling. I wish you had a facility that let you go free and pay for meds based on your income. I was lucky and sadly, that option is no longer available in my area either as the county no longer considers mental illness to be part of its aid to low income/poor folk.

But please, please do not give up. If you need to beg your boss, then beg. You're going to do a lot of pride swallowing in order to bring your illness to a manageable state. I do hope that you are getting counseling and not just prescriptions, especially for the money you pay. Meds alone will not cut it.

My thoughts and hopes are with you.