Reply #58: What is so difficult

[MH1]

(I think, based on discussion with people who fear Teh Gay)

Most parents DREAM of having grandchildren, and their minds can't grok grandchildren that aren't directly conceived in the old-fashioned way. They want things easy, 'the way they've always been', the way (they think, probably incorrectly) that it is for everyone else in their circle.

Rationally or not, they fear having to explain (or hide)their grandkids' origins ... or that they won't even have grandkids. (Grandkids = kids you get to have fun with and then send home for the parents to deal with any consequences, and no possibility of blame if the kids don't turn out ok).

Ok I am sure some one is going to jump on me for saying this but I think it's one of the big factors. People want to fit in, they don't want their kids to be 'different' in any way that they think might complicate their lives, and they fear if their kids are exposed to 'gaydom' they might <gasp> become gay themselves. (yes I know, 'become'! - but that is what they fear).

Doesn't make it right, but I think if people understand the real fears underlying a behavior, maybe there is a better chance to resolve it. (Getting the understanding out there that sexual orientation is mostly biologically determined is probably a good start, but it's going to take awhile for that to become innate knowledge that would make these fears seem silly.)