Reply #41: Don't beat yourself up over it. Do what feels right to you.

[jobycom]

I never tried to become a vegetarian. I started avoiding meat for health reasons, but took about ten years to give it up. I went through phases, even, when I gorged and when I avoided it for weeks. I never really tried to make myself become vegetarian, I just avoided it. I gave up cooking it, but would eat it sometimes when I went out. i did that for about ten years.

Then I had a personal tragedy (it wouldn't make sense to others, probably) and I couldn't look at meat the same after that. I'm sure part of it was all the preparation of the previous ten years, when I learned to eat non-meat based diets, but the tragedy shocked me into not eating meat, and since then I can't see it as food.

Everyone is different. My kid became vegetarian about two years ago when she saw a film about meat, and it just clicked for her (combined with my influence, I suspect). I've known a small handful of vegetarians who just quit because they decided they wanted to, but for most people something happened which shifted their perspective on meat, and it was easy after that.

Do what you feel good doing. If you are trying to go vegetarian and are still craving meat, try to fight the urge, but don't beat yourself up over it if you don't win. Just conclude that you weren't ready, or that the slip had to come, and move on from there. By the time I went vegetarian, I already knew what else I could and wouldn't eat, and for my kid she had me as an example for many years, so it was easy for her. If you don't know what else to eat, it's very difficult. Most people who try it that way slip up a lot at first.

What I'm saying is be proud of what you've accomplished, and build on that. It's hard for a couple of months, and a lot of people slip, or outright fail. You know some things that don't work now. You don't like beans much, and don't like tofu (although tofu can be prepared in so many ways I don't think you should shut that door yet). Build on other options.

The two basic paths to take are to completely revision your diet to avoid the idea of meat, or to find a substitute for meat that fills the same place in your diet and pallat. I think most vegetarians do a little of both, but lean one way or the other. Some go completely away from meat-like meals (by that, I mean a meal based on three portions, one being meat, one being starch, and one being a veggie). They form their diet around one-dish meals involving grains and vegetables, or they form it around a grazing type diet, with a variety of smaller portions, and even a variety of smaller meals. The secret there is whole grains. They will fill you up, make you healthier, and give you a lot of nutrients. They are chewy like meat, so you don't feel as empty (most of the battle is psychological, so that's important).

One dish meals can be a stir fry or a stew or just a rice bowl, using whole grains (brown rice, or quinoa, or kasha, or barley... experiment) and some type of veggie topping (including beans, which you might find less monotonous if they aren't the whole base of the dish). Multi-dish meals can be, say, a side of rice, a side of beans, a couple of veggies, fruit, bread, cheese or eggs if you aren't vegan, nuts... Whatever sounds good.

They other way is what you're talking about. Find a good meat substitute or three and center meals around that whenever you have a craving. Mix it up or you'll get bored. I don't know what stores you have, so you might be limited, but seitan is often sold prepared in a lot of different ways--as barbeque, as roast, as flavored meats, for instance. Tempeh is okay, but it's a bit difficult to prepare well at first--experiment with it. Some companies make a field roast that has a good flavor and a solid meat feel. Find a few of them, then cook your favorite meat meal and substitute that for the meat.

Then there are the frozen options--Quorn, Boca Burgers, Tofurkey products, and a whole slew of veggie burgers and chicken nugget imitations.

A good substitute for a burger is a portabella mushroom. Just brush it with some oil and seasonings, and grill it or sautee it until it's a mushy mess, then drain and press it a bit to make it usable, then use it like a burger patty.

When you feel like it, experiment with tofu. I've never met a tofu-hater who didn't like my veggie-tofu lasagna, for instance, because I use the tofu as a cheese instead of a meat substitute (it really is a cheese, if you know how it's made). You can cook it to feel or taste like anything. Most people taste it raw and unprepared and think they know what it's like, but never bother cooking it properly. If you have a Pei Wei diner near you, order something from there with the tofu and see if you like that better. You want recognize it as tofu.

Anyway, what I'm saying is this--find what you like, and have it around the house ready to use. Try eating meals without meat, but when you want meat, have an option ready that you like, even crave. You might get there all at once, or you might move that way over time as you get more used to the new diet. But don't beat yourself up if you get starved one night and go to Wendys and order the triple cheeseburger. Some things are only moderately in your control, and if you starve yourself eventually your body is just going to make you eat something. Don't feel like you've failed if that happens, just go with it and make what adjustments you think are necessary. Most people don't get as close as you have.

And find a few staples. Make them easy for you. You can buy a cookbook with six hundred recipes (and you should) and subscribe to magazines and search the Internet, but you will wind up with a few staples you eat over and over because you like them and they are easy to prepare. Find your staples, and experiment with other recipes when you have the time.

The whole key here is to make it easier to eat what you think you should eat than to fix yourself something you don't think you should eat.

And find your own comfort zone. I refused to call myself vegetarian for a couple of years because I felt like it trapped me. I didn't eat meat, didn't want meat, but I didn't want to feel I was following someone else's definitions, either. I thought that was strange, but last week I met someone else in exactly that stage of it, so maybe it's normal. I also met a man a few weeks ago working at a Whole Foods who said he was vegetarian until he started having blackouts from being weak, so he started eating fish now and then. He was almost apologetic, like he was asking permission, when he said "I don't eat any land-based animals." That's not my solution, but it was his, and it's an admirable one, but he felt guilty because he wasn't a complete vegetarian. Don't worry about the label. Do what you feel is right ethically and dietarily, and what you feel you need to do, and do that. Adjust it later if you need to. Don't beat yourself up about following someone else's rules or definitions, just do what you feel is right for you.

Anyway, I know that's godawful long and I would edit it, but I just typed what I thought of and I don't have time to edit. Sorry, but hopefully you can find something in there to use.