Reply #155: The difference between us might lie in the definition

[customerserviceguy]

of "code" words. I moved to the East Coast a bit more than three years ago, and I have noticed that name-calling as a form of affection seems to be more prevalent here. If your background is such that people could fling around terms like 'tomboy' and 'four-eyes' and still remain friends, then maybe what I've said about code words is outside of your experience.

Where I came from, those words were used to intimidate someone into not being too smart, or too athletic, or too domestic. They were attempts to put someone into a stereotypical box, and crush their individuality. Homophobic insults have been used for this purpose for quite some time now, and even though the youth of today might seem to be less prejudiced than their elders, they still like to use the label 'gay' to put something down.

Maybe it's all in how the speaker and the listener interpret it that makes it different in various situations.