Reply #127: I have done both, stayed home with the kids early in their lives and then went to work full time

[CTyankee]

when they were a bit older. Here is my take:

When you are full time at home, you are (unless your children are very little) running things and, within certain limits, you have the freedom to plan your time. At work I quickly learned I had lost a lot of my own autonomy. And I wasn't the boss, as I had been of my home. Someone is always telling you what to do and when to do it and castigating you (often unfairly) when something went wrong. I went back to work because my husband was not pulling his own weight in the work dept. and we simply needed another steady paycheck. I felt resentful, even tho I liked lots of things about work.

That being said, it is my belief that the hardest job and the most important job you will ever have is being a parent. And that's the way it should be, even with all of its joys. It is hard to be that if you are being run ragged with late hours and stress from unreasonable bosses and deadlines. But certainly some people want and need their jobs. Therefore, it seems to me that parents need more understanding and help in the workplace, a la European style vacation, sick leave and parental leave times. It's the only way, IMO, we can ever have our cake and eat it too.