Reply #82: I've actually worked and been in a Russian orphanage.

[knitter4democracy]

It was during one of my trips there in college, and I will never forget that hellhole until my dying day. I wouldn't have put a dog in that place, let alone all the children who were there. They were all severely undersized, had huge issues with connecting with anyone at all, and it was all I could do not to grab the one girl who grabbed onto me and wouldn't let go and run like hell for the embassy. It took all I had in me to peel her off of me and set her back down with a hug. I still see her eyes in my nightmares.

I have worked with a family who adopted Russian children. I tried to warn the mom about language and cultural issues (was told they'd listened to some Russian tapes and were fine--it takes decades to master that language) and that attachment disorder was common, as were many other health problems. When the children finally came, I spoke with them at church that summer until I went back to college and always made sure to talk with them whenever I came home. The elder son would start pouring out his soul in Russian (he had a terrible time picking up English, as he was older and had other issues), and I would just listen and give him a hug. The younger daughter had an easier time, as she apparently had been in a different orphanage that was somewhat better--they'd had to track down her brother.

Attachment disorder is massively common, as are many other mental issues. These kids were raised in hell, and while getting them out is miraculous, the parents need to realize what they're getting into and prepare for it. They need to study the culture and language at the very least, and they have to have training on how to raise children who have been abused and neglected all their lives.