When Ted Kennedy died and went to heaven...

[JohnnyRingo]

He was met at the pearly gates by Saint Peter for a personal guided tour.

Peter took the senator on a stroll around the heavens showing him the fine amenities befitting a man who spent his mortal life helping those less fortunate than himself. St Peter took him past the yacht club where a fleet of sailboats awaited his use on a moment's notice, and gave him his country club pass where he had perpetual tee times scheduled about his whim to shoot 18 holes any time the urge struck him. Peter pointed out that in his heavenly form, Kennedy could spend eternity enjoying all the pastimes he enjoyed on Earth without fear of injury or weariness.

The late senator, who was overcome by the red carpet treatment he was receiving, finally asked about his family. Admitting he'd saved the best for last, St Peter escorted Kennedy to a large tent where a surprise party was being held in his honor. There he was greeted by Bobby, Jack, Ethel, MLK, Wellstone, and countless others he'd worked so hard with in the past. A tear streaked down his rosy cheek as Kennedy realized he had truly arrived in heaven.

After several hours of recounting historical anecdotes with his old friends and family over consequence-free drinks and cigars, Ted felt a once familiar urge come over him. Seeking out St Peter among the many guests, Kennedy leaned in close and informed him that he didn't know what to expect with his new heavenly body, but it seemed he had to relieve himself in a most urgent way.


Understanding immediately, the Saint led Kennedy out through a back door to a small but very ornate outhouse. As soon as the door closed behind him, the senator popped his head back out with a look of true alarm on his face. "Uhh Pete, I can see down through the facility, and ahh, there are people down there!". "Oh, don't worry about that" replied St Peter. "That's just the Republican mess hall".