Reply #207: What you can do to soften the blow. . . .

[missingthebigdog]

We are struggling ourselves right now; not for the first time, but I thought I would never be here again. I have worked SO hard to not have to worry about where the money will come from to keep everything on. I made some unfortunate career decisions when I finished law school, though, and am now desperately looking for a job. . .

We are lucky that my husband has stable employment in an industry that hasn't been too affected by the slowdown. We are also lucky to be, as he puts it, "a couple of minimum wage kids" who didn't overextend ourselves too much in the hysteria of the housing bubble, etc.

It may sound cliche, but it really is the little things that make a difference. So, if you are fortunate enough to not be relying on coinstar for bus fare, take a look around you and see what you can do. For example:

My neighbor's oldest son went to a temp agency, who said they would hire him if he had a pair of steel-toed boots. No money next door for the gas bill, let alone footwear. I put him in the car and took him to PayLess. It was the most rewarding $30.00 I have spent in a LONG time. Six weeks later, he was hired on permanently at the site that he was assigned to, and my neighbors had hot water again.

Plant a vegetable garden and distribute the harvest to those you know are in trouble. Fresh food is expensive, and it doesn't feel like charity when you say you have too much too eat it all yourself.

Make a habit of offering to run errands for your friends and neighbors. "Hey, I'm going to the grocery store- do you need me to pick up anything?" Sometimes, people have the funds to buy something they need, but not the means to get there. Also, it makes it much easier for the person to ask you for a ride, or to pick something up, if you have offered in the past.

If you are in a position to do so, offer to buy the things that a friend or neighbor is considering taking to the pawn shop. Pawn shops pay almost nothing for things.

If you are not in a position to buy things, but have the tools to sell on eBay, offer to do that.

A bag of school supplies has a huge impact on a family with school-age children.

Mow the neighbor's yard when you mow yours. Maybe they can't afford gas for the mower, maybe they are too depressed to mow. Making the yard look a little better can help with the outlook.

Offer to watch the kids. Couples who are having money trouble need time alone together, and it is the first thing that goes by the wayside.

Drop off pet food- anonymously if necessary. It is hard enough to keep your spirits up when things are so hard, without the trauma of having to give up a cherished pet.

We have to stick together and take care of one another to get through this. Do what you can.