Reply #31: There's nothing that warms my heart more than anti cell phone threads on DU

[Fleshdancer]

and no, I'm not being sarcastic, I honestly, truly LOVE these threads. I even brought my own soapbox and everything!

Rules For When GloriaSmith Becomes Leader of the Universe:

1. When talking on a cell phone for longer than 60 seconds while driving, all four tires of the vehicle will instantly go flat.

2. Talking on a cell phone while mindlessly walking through a grocery store (or worse, stopping in the middle of the aisle so that others can't walk past you) means your grocery bill will be marked up 5x the original amount UNLESS someone approaches you, grabs the phone from your ear, and throws it to the other end of the store.

3. Restaurants. Go ahead and answer it. Just be prepared to pay the bill for EVERYONE around you. Be careful though, I have great taste in wine.

4. Movies are similar to restaurants. If you answer it, the entire theater will receive a free ticket and you will receive the bill.

5. Keeping the ridiculous ear piece on your head while not using your phone can get you ticketed by the fashion police so be careful. I'm not saying you can't wear it, but come on. It looks ridiculous.

:D