Reply #53: It is not railing against Obama, it is making sure he understands

[Ms. Toad]

what this invitation means to a large number of his supporters who were directly and indirectly hurt by the person he has chosen to honor at a time when he still has the opportunity to change and to apologize for this very hurtful decision. (And yes, I have communicated that directly to his inauguration team.)

As for being alienated, perhaps you ought to spend a little time really listening and trying to understand why this particular invitation is so painful, rather than adding to our pain by trying to minimize it and telling us our concerns and feelings are trivial. Frankly, I am as hurt and angered by the reaction at DU as I am by Obama's initial decision. Every time it seem we are finally able to squeeze our kiddie chair up to a place at the adult table, we are reminded that children should be seen and not heard - or in this case, perhaps not even seen.

How long have you been waiting for a drink at the fountain, and each time the fountain is within sight been told to move to the back of the line?

How many of your friends have been raped and murdered because of who they are?

How many of your children are you not legally related to you because Warren, and others like him, have outlawed your marriage?


How many of your "foster**" children belong to you because their straight parents kicked them out, sent them to reeducation camp, or psychiatric treatment when they realized that their children were gay?

{**By way of explanation: In many gay communities it is common for adult gays to informally "foster" teens who do not otherwise have an adult support system because their own families have rejected them}

How many times have you, or your "foster" children attempted suicide because of the daily torment associated with being gay in this country?


How many homes and belongings have you lost to legal family members who pretend you had no relationship with your deceased life partner of many years?

How many time were you told you were responsible for multiple election losses because you couldn't wait for the "proper time"?

How many times have actively campaigned for the candidate who does not fully support your rights, while remaining silent about a ballot issue that would destroy your marriage - and still been blamed for losing the election?

And then - after years of being spit on, even by members of your own political community - you are finally looking forward to celebrating the inauguration of the man who has faced discrimination and hatred himself, who says he supports your struggle for equal rights. Suddenly, rather than a celebration, once again, you are told to move to the back of the line, and wait your turn because in order to build bridges it "good political strategy," to use as a tool, one of the very people who believes all that you have been putting up with for all of your life is right and just.

And - when you express your deep pain and disappointment at this happening once again, at the hands of someone you had high hopes for - you are told by people who theoretically believe you are a human being and are entitled to full human rights that you need to grow up, stop complaining, it's only trivial, etc.

Building bridges is fine - I'm all for it. I don't know that I would use the invocation slot to do that - but I have no particular problem it it as long the evangelical bridge is not one who is nationally known for calling people like me child molesters, and actively working to break up my family. There are some around.