Reply #84: It reflects some frustration on my part

[noamnety]

I don't know how to react to a person who says they want opinions, valid ones are given, ones based on research, and the person still won't take personal responsibility even after saying yes some of those points are valid. I don't get why you asked for opinions in the first place, I guess. I dunno, where you actually thinking of changing behaviors, or you asked the question knowing you wouldn't?

I see this in the grad school classes sometimes, and I know I shouldn't be surprised anymore by it, but still I am. Someone will make some comment about kids being ill-behaved because they are raised wrong. You can bring up that 20% of them have lead poisoning, and a known side effect is behavioral issues, and it's like it goes in one ear and out the other, even when reports are quoted, cited, linked. They never dispute the truth of that statement, but the next day they are back to blaming the parents for not raising their kids right.

There are certain things that we just get so stuck in our heads sometimes that no amount of evidence - even when we ask for it and receive it - will make us change our attitudes about others. It does piss me off sometimes, and I'm sure that shows.

The points are valid whether or not you are pissed at me personally for being rude to you. I guess you can go on acting in sexist ways and then rather than taking personal responsibility for that - or even rather than being willing to honestly examine it in an unbiased honest way, you can say well, I don't need to confront that behavior in myself, because lwfern was rude to me.

But you know, my anger and frustration here shouldn't be an excuse for you not to confront it in yourself. I don't care what you think about me. I'm asking you to be the sort of person who cares about whether sexism affects women, and whether you contribute to it. It comes down to what sort of standards you want to live up to, not what sort of standards you want me to live up to. That girl in my class has been defined by people who make it clear that they do value her for her looks, and nothing else makes her unique. She's one of very very many. When we blame that on our culture, we need to recognize we ARE that culture.