Circuit City security busts drunken Lindsay Lohan for tapping foot in bathroom stall during dogfight

[hatrack]

Police search of the star's home revealed spiked dog collars, jars of Slim-Fast and methadone-flavored Double-Bubble gum wrapped in shatooshes manufactured by slave labor in a sweatshop located in the back of a Hummer H2 parked in Lohan's garage.

The vehicle was impounded by police in a suspected road rage case involving allegations of rape by wealthy preppy members of Harvard polo club and members of the Minutemen anti-immigration group who also appeared on "To Catch A Predator" - Brangelina's cell phone number found in possession of cell-phone-wielding driver, along with child pornography downloads and glossy photographs of Sanjaya.