Reply #51: Sometimes, you have to drop the ego and admit your limitations.

[johnaries]

I went through a very similar experience. My ex was the "black sheep" of a large Southern family - and I mean a Southern Matriarchy that valued Emily Post above any religion. She was the black sheep simply because she didn't conform and liked to ask "why?". Who among us at DU would not have rebelled?

However, her elder sister had a very beautiful and intelligent child who rebelled not by asking questions, but by using her talents to con every-one she came into contact with. Prostitution, theft, check-kiting, convincing relatives to send her money for a bus-ticket in a "prodigal-child" plea and then cashing the ticket money to buy drugs. A very beautiful, intelligent girl who decided to use her talents to scam and deceive every other living being - stranger, friend, or relative.

She had a child. A very beautiful, intelligent, talented girl. And she taught this beautiful little girl the "basics" very early - how to skip out on a motel bill, how to shoplift, how to masturbate before the poor girl even had a period.

How to lie.

We took custody of her when she was seven. I SWEAR TO GOD I did the very best I could. This little girl had so much to offer. She liked dance, we encouraged that. We took her to the ballet, to ethnic dance exhibitions,.. I encouraged her as she practiced improvised dance whenever she asked me to watch. She did an improvisational dance at her elementary school that took everyone's breath away.

And yet, we could never stop her from lying. She would do things that would get her in deep trouble, sometimes just to see if she could get away with it! After meetings with all of her teachers and guidance counselors and two different child psychologists - I had to admit that I simply was not up to the task.

I'm normally very good with kids! Kids, and dogs, love me! I can usually communicate with them very freely and easily.

But you have to recognize your limitations. I helped poor Brittany all I could. If I tried to continue out of ego, I would have done more damage than good.

Just like her real mother.