Reply #203: I feel the same way - always wondered where my sense of

[smirkymonkey]

alienation came from, but I was always put "ahead" or into special advanced classes. However, the other kids made fun of me, so I started to "dumb down" so that I would be more accepted amongst my peers. I still did relatively well academically, but by the time I was in college I was known as a "slacker" - minimal amount of work, rarely studied or went to class and could usually be found at the pub rather than the library (this is where my heavy drinking started.)

I am now a classic underacheiver who has struggeled with depression and substance abuse issues for most of my adult life. I do ok - have a decent job, etc. but I deeply unsatisfied with my life. I feel like I think everything through too much and come up with the notion that most of what goes on in daily life is just pointless. I think part of that is depression, but I believe my thinking is what gets me depressed in the first place.