Reply #17: I second everything in this post, especially cc'ing it up a level or two.

[calimary]

Or MORE.

I just got action - SERIOUS action - at my kid's school on a bullying problem, even this late in the year, because I wrote everything down in detail, issued it to the school hierarchy, AND cc'ed it to the archdiocese - letting them KNOW I had done so.

BOOM! Problem addressed. In fact, they broke land speed records doing so.

I also experienced this with a family bully. Asshole brother-in-law who picked on my husband once too often. Let's call him george just for reference. He started picking at my guy at a family dinner - WITH all our kids and his own wife present, as well as Grandpa and Grandma. It was a serious crisis in the family past - also involving bullying (of my husband when he was a kid), and it had been very hurtful to him (especially since nobody really stuck up for him when it happened). So george started needling him about it at the table. My husband got upset, asked that it stop - which it didn't, and he finally got up in frustration and left! Fortunately, he had come separately, so I wasn't stuck for a ride home. The rest of us sat there in silence for a few moments, and then george started in the needling, behind my husband's back. I finally said - "why don't we talk about something else?" The needling subsided for about 20 seconds, and then started up again. Nobody else said a word to stop it until I spoke up again, in a somewhat louder, more forceful voice: "WHY don't we talk about SOMETHING ELSE???" And the needling stopped again, for about another 20 seconds. It resumed once more. This time, george's wife (how 'bout let's call her laura) started chiming in a little, while, again, their young children (and ours) were listening and Grandpa and Grandma just sat there stoically, saying nothing and doing less to intervene. So I just lost it. I turned to george, looked him straight in the eye, and roared - "SHUT UP, gEORGE!!!!!"

And you would have LOVED IT! Guess what happened?

That putz brother-in-law of mine suddenly turned into the weenie I always suspected he was because, like any other bully on the playground, he could dish it out like gangbusters but couldn't take it. He got up out of his chair and walked out. Followed by his wife and their kids. Got up from the table and walked out the front door and I NEVER saw any of them again. They NEVER again came to family get-togethers like Christmas and Easter and what-not. They only visited Grandma and Grandpa on occasions when we weren't there. I never saw their weasely faces until a family dinner shortly before Grandpa died. And believe me, george and laura tiptoed around me like they were walking on blown eggs. Scarcely ever even looked me in the eye.

Moral of the story?

NEVER, EVER, let a bully get away with it unconfronted. ALWAYS confront a bully. ALWAYS. And watch 'em shrink straight down into nothing! You'll find it utterly satisfying. They get their power from PERCEPTION, ONLY. Perception of those bullied - that these people are invincible and can't be beaten. Well, they're all cardboard cut-outs, every last one of 'em. Bluster ONLY. Held up by their own hot air, and the "legend" they're trying to create in YOUR mind. Almost embarrassingly easy to knock over and deflate. The only problem is - not enough of the bullied dare try it.