Reply #10: Some thoughts...

[Behind the Aegis]

"I'm pretty sure I'm going to get completely roasted for this, but here goes anyway." I would hope not; since you presented your opinion in a non-offensive way. I feel you are looking for others honest opinions. I can appreciate it.

I understand the idea that racism and sexism are about power, and that these concepts - to many on here - automatically disqualify anyone except white people from being racist, and automatically disqualify sexism as something that can happen to men. Whenever I hear conversations like that, I feel like there are some on here who would be very quick to label me as a complete piece of shit because I'm a white male....

You are correct on many levels. "-ism" is about power, institutionalized and societal. You are also correct that some misuse those words ending in "-ism." The most common misuse is that racism is seen as a "one way street." However, as there are many "races" (I only see one...the HUMAN race), racism can be used by all races, including those who traditionally are victims of racism. You are also correct in that some will judge you on the fact that you are a white man and see you as a "complete piece of shit." People who act like that are prejudiced and bigoted. The issue that men cannot be victims of sexism is also wrong. While as men can not be victimized by women because of his sex (he can be discriminated because of his sex by women), men can be victims of sexism by other men!

So what am I saying? "-isms" happen when the victim is of "equal or lesser status" than the perpetrator. This is not just a personal belief, but one held by many social scientists and diversity 'experts.' The idea of those of "equal" status as victims was introduced not long ago, some do not believe this. In less confusing verbage... "Men can be sexist toward other men and women. Women can be sexist to other women, but not men (although they can be discriminatory, even bigoted). Whites (at least in this country, perhaps the world over, that's another discussion) can be racist toward all ethnic groups (races), but they are only victims of racism when the perp is also white. Blacks can be racist toward other Blacks and other 'races,' except whites (although they can be discriminatory, even bigoted). It becomes less clear as we 'descend' the power structure of race in this country. Can Hispanics/Latino/as be racist toward Blacks? According to social models, not as of yet.

...While I'm very painfully aware that for most of history, white males have just about cornered the market on labeling like that, it doesn't mean that I do, and it doesn't mean that it's right to return it. Just because many other white males have been guilty of that kind of crap doesn't mean I am, and I refuse to take the responsibility and shame for other people's actions.

I agree with you. While our 'culture' (I am also a white male) has been responsible for great evils, it also has its shares of great deeds. It is not (or shouldn't be) about accepting responsibility of the past, but understanding it. As individuals, we are only responsible for the actions of ourselves, and on occasion, of our charges (be they children, or another for whom we are responsible). It is also not 'right' to treat all white males the same, as it is not right to treat any member of a group one way based on their membership in said group, be it genetic or chosen.

I think in the midst of these conversations, it's important to keep in mind that there are many men who aren't sexist, and many whites who aren't racist, and many white males who are neither racist nor sexist. I do not pretend to know what it is to be a victim of racism or sexism, but I also think that it's important to keep in mind that given the opportunity, there would be plenty of racist non-whites out there and plenty of sexist women. As long as there is such a thing as power, abuse of power will exist right alongside it, no matter what sex or ethnicity holds it, so I think it's more important to attack the structure than anything else.

Right on! Whereas I can't speak for your experiences, consider the definitions I have given for racism and sexism. Have you not been a victim? You may not have. However, have you ever experienced prejudice or bigotry based on your sex or pigmentation? These things can help understand, even empathize, with victims of "-isms."

Human beings exist as a continuum. Some of us are extraordinarily good. Some of us are extraordinarily bad. Most of us fall somewhere in between. That applies to everyone. EVERYONE.

As a fellow middle traveler in this life, I agree, it should not be about the color of the skin, the sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, et al, but about the person's heart and actions.