Reply #16: You're lucky

[marions ghost]

that your natural traits fit with the approved male paradigm in the workplace. Do you think you were always that way, or did you develop this in response to working in a male-dominated field? Did you have a strong male role model who encouraged you at an early age--or a female role model you could relate to? Did you have brothers who gave you a trial by fire?

Good point about reframing the issue--ie. 'acting like a man' is really a way of expressing disapproval for a woman not acting like a woman is SUPPOSED to act. Glad you are strong enough to have found success and not lost your sense of self.

But what about those who are more conflicted? For example, for people like me who are not particularly aggressive or assertive, and tend to get trampled in these situations, what would you advise? Maybe classes in this for young women, or seminars given by women like you? That would be assuming there's no way to crank the competition factor DOWN a notch, which doesn't seem to be happening (maybe it is in some places, but as jobs and opportunities may become more scarce, the situation may get even worse).