Reply #6: The Gender Straightjacket

[Samurai_Writer]

I haven't read this book, but I can say from the experience of raising my son, society DOES put a lot of pressure on boys to be 'little men' (aggressive, macho, etc).

My son went out for football in 6th grade. Although he is big and strong, he didn't like the restrictiveness of it, as he was raised to be an individual who thinks for himself. He was in band all through junior high, playing saxophone, and then picked up guitar in high school. He did and does skateboard semi-professionally, but it's not a hugely competitive sport. He does it because he loves to skate, not to 'win'.

Another thing I did notice while he was in school is that there is more attention paid to the boys. That can be good and bad, as they are disciplined more than girls as well. My son couldn't get away with anything (not that he should have), but girls doing the same things were never sent to the office, whether it be dress code violation, speaking out in class, etc.

Another situation that happened on his very first day of junior high (6th grade). He was approached by a gang with an offer to join it, because he was big for his age and very strong (and also looked hispanic!). He turned them down, of course. But the arguments these kids used to get him to join were based all on macho stereotypes. Just because he looked 'macho' they figured he would be an aggressive type, I suppose.

Here he is with me, about 1 1/2 years ago. We haven't changed much since then. He's 6'2" and I'm 5'10". Just to give perspective on the photo.