Reply #22: I think you can

[Heddi]

Everyone on this thread has brought up really good points, all of which I agree with.

I don't see any difference in telling a woman "you're a bad woman because you wear makeup, wear dresses, and shave your legs. you're no feminist" and telling a woman "You're a bad woman because you don't wear makeup, wear dresses, or shave your legs. You're no female".

Thankfully, we're able to make the decision regarding what we want to wear, and how we want to wear it. I don't think that you should have to be the equivalent of a wooly mammoth in order to be a 'feminist'. Nor do I think that you should spend 4 hours doing hair and make-up in order to be a 'woman'.

I don't wear makeup. I have some in my bathroom that is MANY years old, smells funny, and by all intents and purposes should have been sent to the trash bin years ago. It's like a petri dish at this point. But I keep it because, well, one day I *MAY* want to wear makeup.

As it stands, I'm 29 years old and have never learned how to apply makeup correctly. I can do my eyes okay, but was never good at the blush. Lipstick is okay but unless you spend $7 on a tube, it's either going to come off, or make your lips dry. I don't do well with foundation and powder because I'm so pale that I either look like a corpse, or have that oh-so-lovely line of demarcation between my chin and my neck. Not nice.

I find makeup to be a bother. I don't do my hair either. Again, I have a hairdryer but use it maybe 2x's a year. It makes me look like Peter Frampton if I blowdry my hair. Not nice.

But If I did decide to wear makeup, or do my hair, or wear something other than jeans & birkenstocks, how does that in ANY way negate what I do, how I donate my time and money and effort into equal rights issues? It doesn't. I can be just as much of a feminist with foundation on, and I can be just as much of a "woman" with woolly pits.

Wearing makeup, liking fashion, and donning high heels in no way negates being a feminist, unless, of course, you're doing these things for the WRONG reasons.

Many people would say that if you're wearing these thigns to feel good about yourself, then that's okay, but if you're wearing them to get the attention of a man, then it's wrong.

But why is that wrong? If I'm single and looking for a guy, why is it wrong to look 'nicer' than I would if I was wearing what I'm wearing now--a pair of scrub pants, stained up t-shirt and torn underwear? I wouldn't expect much from a guy who showed up on a first date wearing what he wore to bed the night before, ya know.

I'm married. I like to please my husband, and he likes to please me. I have outfits that he finds me very attractive in. Is it "un-feminist" to wear things that peak his interest? That turn him on sexually? That he finds me attractive in? I'm not uncomfortable in the clothing, and I like it too. But I like it more because HE really likes it too. There's outfits he has that I love for him to wear because he looks good in it. I'm not demanding he wear them, or stating that if he loved me he wouldn't wear anything but that outfit. And he's just as fine in jeans and a t-shirt, but sometimes I like him in his dress-up clothing.

I guess I don't know what would be the 'wrong' reasons for wearing such things, and what could make someone who wore X outfit (makeup, hair, heels) be a feminist, but someone else who wore the outfit NOT be a feminist. I don't know if I can even be qualified to judge someone else's motives, likes, or reasons.

We should be free to make choices in life--PRO CHOICE ALL THE WAY---that goes beyond pregnancy and abortion, but for ALL aspects of life. If you want to wear 6-inch stilettos, go for it. If you want to walk around barefoot--that's fine. It's all up to the person and givin g them the autonomy to make the choices that fit their life the best. I don't like wearing heels because my feet are too big and my boobs are too big and I'm too top-heavy and don't walk good in them. But I"d never bar someone else from wearing heels because *I* don't like them. And I'd never want someone to bar ME from wearing heels because they don't like them. Give me the choice. Chances are, I'll go for a low-heel or a flat, but let ME decide for MY own reasons.