News Flash: WH Kool-Aid Stand Runs Out, Has to Go Get More!

[Berry Cool]

The latest report from Washington is that the Kool-Aid stand at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is officially out of Kool-Aid and will have to send Donald Rumsfeld out to the store for more. Top salesman Scott McClellan said, "We just plumb ran out. Representatives of the MSM have been lined up all around the block and down the street for a cup of this stuff all day long. As fast as we can make it, they slurp it right down. It's come to the point where we have to hand out numbers to the journalists so they can hold their place in line until we can stir up another metal tubful of purple goodness. We are really doing a land-office business. I guess people just can't get enough of this kind of thing once the weather gets warm."

McClellan and other White House sources advised would-be thirsty reporters to pay no attention to a kid standing on a nearby corner with thick eyebrows and glasses. "He's a nerd anyway," said McClellan. "Keeps standing there telling everyone, 'Don't drink, it's poisoned.' He's really doing everything he can to destroy our business, or at the very least put ME out of a job. But it's not going to work." He then yelled at the kid, "Hey, Four-Eyes! Why don't you go cover that 'Piano Man' or something. He's more your speed!"