Reply #6: it's pretty much blown over. but, god, i hate being the grown-up.

[mopinko]

i think this one was a record- not speaking for 5 days. sleeping on the couch. just so fucking exhausting. and predictable. one of those stupid boy things.

but it is so fucked up that every fight i have to worry about ending up on the street. i never thought i would end up like this. i am trying to fight off the anger of finding out that after all the doctors, including the ones who pretty much told me i was crazy, and all the tests, and all the pills, and all the other bullshit, i have apnea. i haven't gotten my cpap yet, but it will be a mixed blessing. i will feel a lot better, but i will have to reconcile that i lost control of my life over something so simple. life is crazy.

so sorry you are having to move in with family sweetie. so sorry you are loosing your little place, too. such a beautiful little spot on the globe there. it is just not right that you can't find a way to make a living. i hope that you are at least writing. keep writing. nobody can take that away from you. maybe it wont be as bad as you are expecting. my oldest is moving back in. i am determined to make it not a nightmare. she needs to get through college, and i am so glad she is dumping her boyfriend. he is a boneheaded boy.