Reply #20: haven't heard from him in a long time...

[northernlights]

and all emotion seems to have drained from the memories. THey are just faded memories.

At the end of the episode, which lasted a few months, I was trying to set up a time to meet with him in his home city. He kept postponing. Then he told me he couldn't be with me right now. I know something serious had come up in his life and I told him I wished he could tell me what was going on, but to do what he had to do. That was over a year ago. He is independently wealthy and I suspect it may have had to do with the impending collapse of the housing market.

I did hear from him back when I was first applying for school loans last February.

And he came to me in a very, very unusual and intense dream last spring.

And I thought I heard him tell me I will always have a home and always have enough to eat last summer.

But nothing else. I haven't been able to connect with him and haven't really felt the urge to try.

If emotions are energy and our feelings were bottled up energy, maybe they just needed to play themselves out. Or maybe he'll turn up in my life again. I just no longer anticipate or hope for it.