Reply #7: On edit:

[LaurenG]

I guess I would say that everyone who channels runs the risk of channeling themselves.

Whatever is coming through has to run through the person doing the channeling and the old ego will sometimes get in there and take over as well as energy from less than enlightened beings. I have never known a true spiritual guide to be anything less than encouraging but when the channel is tired or too emotionally involved the personality can sometimes come through rather than purer information.

I think you are being given an opportunity to think through what you really want. Delays are often blessings in disguise and a way for your higher self to do what it's here to do. I don't have your answers but I would encourage you to take a deep breath and look at this as an education in human nature and a way to really think through what you need and want.
We all get kicked in the backside at some point, I haven't met a person yet who hasn't. Your challenge seems to be centered around some very important goals for you. What you really want can still come to pass. I am sorry that this is happening, I feel your pain and I pray that you will find a way to be at peace with what is happening to you until you can again be working toward your goal. :hug: