Reply #11: I have wondered about this all my adult life too, IHAD,

[DemExpat]

and don't feel sure of an answer from my experiences.

I guess I would tend to feel now, looking back over my life and what I have learned, that the very best, meaningful sex I ever had - not too often, I'm afraid - was with an incredibly strong soul connection with my partner, and that all of the fantasizing about violent or kinky sex had more to do with lust on a lower level. I see these as more masturbatory fantasies for personal sexual release than precursors for heavenly sex, but that might just be my personal take on this.

I used to think that my sexual fantasies of being raped had to do with my "shame" of my lust, thus only being able to engage in a lustful act if forced.
Add to this my strong feeling that in my youth I felt my physical beauty and sexual attractiveness was a very powerful tool, the only tool I focused on that time, to gain personal attention which I craved.
So I used it and my fantasies to have power over another person or persons, and this to me does not now seem to be a spiritual "place" to be coming from.

I also don't see it as really thoughts or wishes to attract like energies, but on the other hand I do see them as being part of a "lower" level of being - which, in my book is not saying that this is "bad" or less worthy, just at a different level.
So perhaps indulging a lot in these fantasies would bring on similar experiences in reality. (Like adultery, for example?)

Please let me be clear that these are all my personal experiences and observations, and not something I think would pertain to everybody.

When I think of someone who I feel/imagine is highly evolved spiritually, I can't really imagine them engaging in violent or kinky sex fantasies or promiscuous acts!
Sexual, yes, but not stuff of many of our fantasies.....is this my rather Puritan Jesus example of an evolved being (from my youth) dominating my reasoning/feelings?

What do you all think?

DemEx