Reply #1: "Jeremy Kyle’s Underclass Deathmatch"

[muriel_volestrangler]

In a move to get the feckless and the dressing-gowned off their sofas and into the 21st century economy, which offers so very many golden opportunities to the under-trained and under-educated, New Labour are seeking to recruit motivational speaker, Jeremy Kyle.

A man who has made his career from humiliating the lower classes and inciting them to violence is seen as the ideal choice for easing the unemployed back into indentured servitude. Jeremy Kyle’s Underclass Deathmatch will see carefully selected layabouts facing off in a number of disciplines. Hair-pulling, head-locking, and broken bottle brawls will be just some of the events to feature.

Speaking about Kyle’s chequered history as a talk show host, a government source said: ‘Of course the government deplores violence when it affect voters and the deserving poor. But surveys conducted amongst tabloid newspaper readers tell us that, in a control environment, it could be extremely useful in getting the unemployed active again, reducing jobless figures, and fostering vote-winning class hatred.’

The show will be shown on weekday mornings when real people are either at work or having a cup of tea with the nanny.

http://www.chickyog.net/2008/09/07/brown-backs-jeremy-kyles-underclass-deathmatch/