this evening...in the Bluest city in the Reddest state...

[bevoette]

my AA husband became so upset at Guiliani's speech that we had to change the channel. we ate dinner, and he was very quiet. very distressed.

as he cleaned the kitchen (yeah, i'm lucky that way B-)) i came back to our office to watch some of Sarah Palin's speech

i got about 10 minutes in, and he came in w/ a shaky voice and said "i can't stand this, it's making me sick, let's go"

so we put on our shoes and got the leash and walked the dog for about a half hour. it's a beautiful night here in Austin, crystal clear, almost a cool breeze...(almost, heh)

and he talked about how hateful and ugly those speeches were making HIM feel, and how he knew some of our friends would vote for this ticket no matter what, b/c even though they are best friends with him...they just wouldn't, couldn't vote for a black man

and how he just couldn't understand it

and now it's making ME cry just writing about it

and my mother - my mother the undecided, who has lived and breathed Republicanism for decades, who i have/had almost convinced to vote Obama, but who keeps getting the hateful chain emails and the barage of crap from the downtown Houston CPA firm she works for and all her coworkers on a daily basis - i thought about my mother visiting this past holiday weekend...

and how she started out reserved, and how Obama "sure was ambitious" and how he "sure did have a laundry list of things he wanted to do" and "i just can't imagine how he's gonna pay for all of that!"

and how after everybody else went to bed Saturday night, she and i stayed up and talked...and my MOTHER began to cry because she said she was "just so tired of feeling like my government doesn't even care about me. i don't have any money and i don't have any power, and once they get to Washington, that's ALL THEY CARE ABOUT!!"

and she said again..."i dunno...i think i'll probably vote for Obama"...but i know i'm gonna have to keep on her and keep giving her info and dispelling the hate, b/c she gets it EVERY SINGLE DAY where she is...

and so, tonight...i told my husband we had no choice but to just have FAITH...to have faith in the majority of the American people.

i want to believe most Americans are NOT hateful. we are NOT evil. we are NOT stupid.

i want to believe that. my husband wants to believe that. and my poor, sad mother wants to believe that...even if she has a hard time admitting it.