Reply #9: You mean like this? (From my journal archives)

[Jackpine Radical]

A NOTE FROM HOMELAND SECURITY
Posted by Jackpine Radical in Editorials & Other Articles
Wed Jun 21st 2006, 11:02 PM
Although we have been doing our best to maintain secrecy on this issue, you may soon be hearing that the National Security Agency has been eavesdropping on the domestic communications of American citizens without warrants. This should not concern you, as it is just one more way in which we are defending you against terrorists. If you are a good, right-thinking American, you have nothing to fear. If you are a domestic terrorist, however, we will soon know everything about you—who you are, where you go, what you do, and whom you talk to.

You may be wondering just what a domestic terrorist is. Well, tree-huggers, liberals & peaceniks are domestic terrorists. They are actually the most pernicious variety of terrorists threatening America today. They are especially dangerous because they seek to overthrow the government by darkly sinister, so-called "peaceful" means, such as trying to mislead large numbers of people into voting against the President and the Republicans. If the communications of any group need to be monitored, then surely our government needs to listen in on these evil and subversive people in order to discover and thwart their nefarious plots. Among the most successful of our operations in recent times was the electronic surveillance of the traitorious Kerry campaign in 2004. Armed with knowledge of their innermost secrets, we were able to neutralize every one of their electioneering strategems, and were always able to counter their vicious attempts at veracity with well-timed disinformation.

So remember, if you want to maintain your standing as a loyal American, it is vital for you to distance yourself from Democrats, liberals, environmentalists, despicable altruists, and anyone who shows signs of sympathy with any of these groups. Never hesitate to report these unsavory people to the authorities. Be aware that if, for some mistaken reason, you actually befriend or talk to one of these people, or if you ever speak out in a way that even remotely suggests that you are in sympathy with them, then the Government will have no choice but to add you to the Enemies list. Pay heed to what a White House spokesman so wisely said a few years ago, and "Watch what you say, watch what you do!"