Reply #4: It has come to my attention that there are accusations that I do not, in fact have a cat.

[Political Heretic]

I respond to these outlandish accusations, and point out that it depends on what your definition of "have" is... or what your definition of "cat" is for that matter. These sad attempts to smear me are clearly the work of a vast multi-wing conspiracy to flap fast enough to get off the ground which is cracked and caked from the drought we were having, at least until this winter when there was a lot of snow, only because of the government's testing of its weather control device over rural areas like this one.