Reply #14: Yeah but,

[juliagoolia]

The way its done here is almost or nearly insane.

The secrets, lies, and shame surrounding it is riciulous. I know so many birthmothers that have never gotten over the grief. Just as many adopted that are still struggling with identity.

Face it, when a big boned girl is raised up in a family of skinny folks who have perfect figures and are fragile she is bound to have some self image issues. I know one man that was pushed by his family to go into law, and finally after becoming a legal assistant he quit and went into music. After finding his birthfamily he finds out his birthmother was a singer/dancer and birthfather also an opera singer professionally. Well no wonder!

Secrets and sealed up records need to stop.
We also need to teach about birth control and condoms in school so less of these young people have to go through so much trauma and drag it around on their shoulders the rest of their lives.