The 10 Most Obnoxious Cell Phone Callers

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Cracked.com

#7.
The Rambler a.k.a. the Human Radio Station

You have got to give the Rambler some credit; at least they attempted to leave you a detailed message. But whatever tiny bit of credit you gave them must be swiftly revoked when you realize that they fundamentally disagree with you about the definition of the word "detailed."

The Rambler will leave needlessly lengthy voicemails that include long-winded yet largely incoherent summaries of their call, tons of information they know you already have, instructions for how to call them back, other phone numbers where you might be able to reach them, where they'll be later, their schedule for the next couple of days and they will conclude all of it by restating their name and number at the end.

God forbid their first message gets cut off for being too lengthy because then, as a very special bonus, they'll treat you to a slightly shorter reprise of the same message that repeats all of the exact same information. The Rambler's soliloquies evoke the instinctive reaction of taking the phone away from your ear, staring at it for a second, throwing your other hand up and then shaking your head in shocked disbelief.

Why They Do This:

While there is an excellent chance the Rambler loves to hear the sound of their own voice, it is equally likely that they just cannot get to the fucking point. Their lives consist of muttering endlessly to anyone who will listen, punctuated only by pointless conversations with themselves in the mirror. Miraculously, despite all the practice they've had talking, they cannot tell a simple story with any proficiency much less leave a concise voicemail.